food The Ambien Chef (Zolpidem) CHEFFIN'
- Thread starter Scovie
- Start date
Ok here's one of mine from a while back and how I reinvented "poppers" (a stretch to call them that, as you'll see). I must have slept in that day and been wide awake still and since I barely sleep anyways and needed to catch up, well, you know... It took quite a while to all this so some parts are a bit more clear than others.
It wasn't too late in the night when it all started so I 'clearly' remember starting to 'cook' by gutting some jalapenos and prepping some taco meat. Must have gutted 30+ of the little f'ers which took more than a couple beers to do. Didn't think to cook the taco meat at the same time so that took a few more. At some point in all this I started a movie.
I then put a bunch of stuffing ingredients in a bowl and mixed them up. I don't know exactly what the ingredients were, but I can tell you that most had a rather blurry appearance. Once mixed, I stuffed the jalas, wrapped them up in foil and tossed them on the grill.
A few minutes later (in my mind), I woke up and thought "sh*t, I'm gonna be out of propane and all my peppers are ruined" so I went to turn off the grill. Found it turned off and nothing inside. "WTF?" I thought as I went to get some breakfast. Opened the fridge door and found my peppers, but only about 10 of them and not one of them containing any cream cheese. That's when it started coming back a bit - The end of the movie reminded me that I had somethin on the grill for who knows how long so I put on a second movie to watch while I ate a few. Must have snacked all the way through because by my math I chowed down 15-20 of the things. There was also 3 pounds of ground beef missing. No way it all went into the peppers... where the f did it go?
It wasn't too late in the night when it all started so I 'clearly' remember starting to 'cook' by gutting some jalapenos and prepping some taco meat. Must have gutted 30+ of the little f'ers which took more than a couple beers to do. Didn't think to cook the taco meat at the same time so that took a few more. At some point in all this I started a movie.
I then put a bunch of stuffing ingredients in a bowl and mixed them up. I don't know exactly what the ingredients were, but I can tell you that most had a rather blurry appearance. Once mixed, I stuffed the jalas, wrapped them up in foil and tossed them on the grill.
A few minutes later (in my mind), I woke up and thought "sh*t, I'm gonna be out of propane and all my peppers are ruined" so I went to turn off the grill. Found it turned off and nothing inside. "WTF?" I thought as I went to get some breakfast. Opened the fridge door and found my peppers, but only about 10 of them and not one of them containing any cream cheese. That's when it started coming back a bit - The end of the movie reminded me that I had somethin on the grill for who knows how long so I put on a second movie to watch while I ate a few. Must have snacked all the way through because by my math I chowed down 15-20 of the things. There was also 3 pounds of ground beef missing. No way it all went into the peppers... where the f did it go?
WOW! You musta' been SERIOUSLY effed up. You used a gas grill?! 
I don't think I can even get that trashed.
I don't think I can even get that trashed.
Lol That's what I call "porcelaining" the next morning (so to speak) remembering fragments of shit that "probably" happened. I know where that taco meat went... You ett that shit outta the bowl. Prolly with chips in unison with the poppers. Damm fine meal right there.
Gas grills suck? So you're one of THOSE guys. I bet you use REAL wood in your smoker too. Damm bastage.
Gas grills suck? So you're one of THOSE guys. I bet you use REAL wood in your smoker too. Damm bastage.
Ohhhhhhh Jay you just reminded me of another one and it was a good one because of the consequences. Another case of "porcelaining" (wtf??) but in this case it didn't happen for a week or so. Will type it up a bit later
And scovie you think I ate 3 lbs of meat???
... Shit, I think you may be right
And scovie you think I ate 3 lbs of meat???
... Shit, I think you may be right
Maaaaaan… I even use real wood on my grill! Ever had a T-bone seared over black cherry embers? Gzzzssshh! That's a flavor that could convert a hippie vegetarian to the dark(?) side. Not that I'd give my steak to a hippie. Gimme that back, hippie! Go get a job and EARN your meat, dammit!Scoville DeVille said:
This thread is full of comedy WIN!
Ever cook up an awesome frozen pizza..topped with all sorts of great anything you can find in the fridge..and more things that you can't recall, only to pull that BEAUTY out of the oven to realize you left the damn cardboard under the f**kin pie? Oh well...I ate it anyway.
I'll try to get f**ked up and add more tales soon! That's just one I remember.
I'll try to get f**ked up and add more tales soon! That's just one I remember.
OK. This one requires a bit of back story. So back in college when I was young and naive(er) I was living with 3 girls. If this sounds good to you, you're too young and won't be able to properly understand the drama of the ensuing situation I am about to describe. One of the 3 was my then girlfriend, the other two twin sisters. All as well for about 2 months, then factions formed after a falling out over various issues and drama I don't remember. Obviously, it was my girlfriend and I on one side, the twins on the other. We avoided each other as much as possible. Most relevant is the fact that we bought and kept separate food. No sharing after the falling out. If one of them bitches took our food there was hell to pay.
So one night I'm watching movies in our bedroom, occasionally going out for drinks etc, and I eventually got hungry. As I recall I cookeduup a frozen pizza and ate that. After a fee more drinks I went to bed.
A couple days later, my girlfriend and I were going to make sandwiches. She grabbed the stuff out of the fridge, including the presliced meat we purchased a couple days before, and got to work. She then asked "did you eat some of the turkey already?" I replied "no, why?" "because it's opened and half gone" she said, with a confused and angry tone. "wasn't me, maybe it was open when we bought it? The twins wouldn't do that, would they?"... More back and forth... Conclusion was that the twins got into our food.
Hell fire and brimstone rained down, and we all made it known what we thought about one another." don't touch our food, buy your own you mooching bitches" - "we didn't eat your food, we have our own!" etc etc
This lead to every food article being labeled and tracked with names and who ate it when etc on both sides. A chart of who did what housework when appeared. Infractions such as leaving lights on or letting a fucking cat meow too much were noted passive aggressively on a whiteboard. The twins tried to force me out even.
About a week later, we had just gone shopping and got some more meat I opened it aand that auctioned triggered a memory, of sorts, of doing it before. I said "hey baby, it might have been me that ate that meat after all"
Several years went by before the two factions would reconcile. Porcelain is a helluva thang
So one night I'm watching movies in our bedroom, occasionally going out for drinks etc, and I eventually got hungry. As I recall I cookeduup a frozen pizza and ate that. After a fee more drinks I went to bed.
A couple days later, my girlfriend and I were going to make sandwiches. She grabbed the stuff out of the fridge, including the presliced meat we purchased a couple days before, and got to work. She then asked "did you eat some of the turkey already?" I replied "no, why?" "because it's opened and half gone" she said, with a confused and angry tone. "wasn't me, maybe it was open when we bought it? The twins wouldn't do that, would they?"... More back and forth... Conclusion was that the twins got into our food.
Hell fire and brimstone rained down, and we all made it known what we thought about one another." don't touch our food, buy your own you mooching bitches" - "we didn't eat your food, we have our own!" etc etc
This lead to every food article being labeled and tracked with names and who ate it when etc on both sides. A chart of who did what housework when appeared. Infractions such as leaving lights on or letting a fucking cat meow too much were noted passive aggressively on a whiteboard. The twins tried to force me out even.
About a week later, we had just gone shopping and got some more meat I opened it aand that auctioned triggered a memory, of sorts, of doing it before. I said "hey baby, it might have been me that ate that meat after all"
Several years went by before the two factions would reconcile. Porcelain is a helluva thang
JayT said:
You evil man.
You edited your post.
I know what it said before.
Bastige.
Agreed, but...JayT said:
Ok J, Mr. Reviewer, I challenge you to review the various ambien-type products. We'll all pitch in for the video crew and drugs, but you gotta take em and review them and the shit you decide to eat while Hoffman fcked. Doooo it! Its science
(yeah, still too soon sorry)
Aha ha loool, sometime i have difficulties to understand all, but seems really worth!
Don't know if that counts... No cooking but wine... And there's refrigerator!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... No, just at one of the best friends of mine house. I only remember that was wine time. Don't remeber if after or before meal. My friend shook a bottle of white wine (probably a temporary brain blackout) then put in fridge. Some hours later he opened it: of course it exploded, i suppose half wine was wasted... I was bathed, some walls too...
Fast forward 1 week.
Walls of that kitchen had just been repainted. Don't rember if for wine.
Again, i went to his house, his relatives were away for vacation. So he took a bottle of red, a dark one (maybe merlot or cabernet, just guessing). He handled it like a tnt bottle or even with more care and VERY CAREFULLY put in fridge... Wait some hours.
Remove bottle from the fridge, always as if the world exploded if it took some hits...
Carefully open...
Men, that was the worst wine explosion i ever saw. Really, nearly no wine left in bottle. Really, from table to ceiling. My friend tried to block wine flow, not only miserably failing, but increasing wine pressure!
Result: of course i was bathed again (and my mom noticed wine smell on the dress day after), looking the walls (and ceiling!) seemed like we eviscerated a pork.
Somehow he avoided being killed and was able to repaint kitchen before relatives returned home (btw, years after i knew that they noticed)...
Lol, after many years when we must open a bottle, who has to open it exit from home to open it!
Don't know if that counts... No cooking but wine... And there's refrigerator!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... No, just at one of the best friends of mine house. I only remember that was wine time. Don't remeber if after or before meal. My friend shook a bottle of white wine (probably a temporary brain blackout) then put in fridge. Some hours later he opened it: of course it exploded, i suppose half wine was wasted... I was bathed, some walls too...
Fast forward 1 week.
Walls of that kitchen had just been repainted. Don't rember if for wine.
Again, i went to his house, his relatives were away for vacation. So he took a bottle of red, a dark one (maybe merlot or cabernet, just guessing). He handled it like a tnt bottle or even with more care and VERY CAREFULLY put in fridge... Wait some hours.
Remove bottle from the fridge, always as if the world exploded if it took some hits...
Carefully open...
Men, that was the worst wine explosion i ever saw. Really, nearly no wine left in bottle. Really, from table to ceiling. My friend tried to block wine flow, not only miserably failing, but increasing wine pressure!
Result: of course i was bathed again (and my mom noticed wine smell on the dress day after), looking the walls (and ceiling!) seemed like we eviscerated a pork.
Somehow he avoided being killed and was able to repaint kitchen before relatives returned home (btw, years after i knew that they noticed)...
Lol, after many years when we must open a bottle, who has to open it exit from home to open it!
Essegi said:Aha ha loool, sometime i have difficulties to understand all, but seems really worth!
Don't know if that counts... No cooking but wine... And there's refrigerator!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... No, just at one of the best friends of mine house. I only remember that was wine time. Don't remeber if after or before meal. My friend shook a bottle of white wine (probably a temporary brain blackout) then put in fridge. Some hours later he opened it: of course it exploded, i suppose half wine was wasted... I was bathed, some walls too...
Fast forward 1 week.
Walls of that kitchen had just been repainted. Don't rember if for wine.
Again, i went to his house, his relatives were away for vacation. So he took a bottle of red, a dark one (maybe merlot or cabernet, just guessing). He handled it like a tnt bottle or even with more care and VERY CAREFULLY put in fridge... Wait some hours.
Remove bottle from the fridge, always as if the world exploded if it took some hits...
Carefully open...
Men, that was the worst wine explosion i ever saw. Really, nearly no wine left in bottle. Really, from table to ceiling. My friend tried to block wine flow, not only miserably failing, but increasing wine pressure!
Result: of course i was bathed again (and my mom noticed wine smell on the dress day after), looking the walls (and ceiling!) seemed like we eviscerated a pork.
Somehow he avoided being killed and was able to repaint kitchen before relatives returned home (btw, years after i knew that they noticed)...
Lol, after many years when we must open a bottle, who has to open it exit from home to open it!
I must apologize Essegi.
I always thought you were a guy.
JayT said:
Nothing I say should be taken seriously, ever.
...except that
...and that
...crap