Geeme told me that JayT can vaporize cars in a parking lot by placing a hot dog in the microwave he keeps in his trunk......and they got ALL the best parking spaces!!!!!! He's magical AND practical!!!!! (swooning sigh)
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The Chronicles of JayT
- Thread starter SumOfMyBits
- Start date
You stink. You KNOW you stink. You got up early and headed straight to the gym. That whiff of yourself as you did your last pushup affirmed what you already knew. Now you meander towards the locker room, looking forward to rinsing off the residue from your workout. You catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, and can't help but to notice that hey - that's not a bad-looking guy sneaking a peak back at you. You laugh at yourself as you throw your towel over the bar and the soap in the dish, and give the hot water knob a good crank.
You wait a few, knowing that stepping in too soon will cause some serious shrinkage, then reach a hand out to test it. D*mn…. still too cold. You wait a bit more, then try again. FRACK IT, you think, hot water must be out again. You jerk the knob back the other way, and reach for the bar of soap so you can shower at home. Only your mind draws a blank for a moment as you find, not a bar of soap, but a microwaved hotdog in the soap dish. Yeah…. JayT strikes again. You smirk, then try the knob again - yep, hot water now!
You roll your eyes then yell loudly into the air: "D*MMIT JAYT, I appreciate it, but STAY OUT OF MY SHOWER!" You hear the echo of a laugh, then realize the sudden firmness in your hand is the hotdog - now a bar of soap again - and breathe a sigh of relief that it's not something else...
You wait a few, knowing that stepping in too soon will cause some serious shrinkage, then reach a hand out to test it. D*mn…. still too cold. You wait a bit more, then try again. FRACK IT, you think, hot water must be out again. You jerk the knob back the other way, and reach for the bar of soap so you can shower at home. Only your mind draws a blank for a moment as you find, not a bar of soap, but a microwaved hotdog in the soap dish. Yeah…. JayT strikes again. You smirk, then try the knob again - yep, hot water now!
You roll your eyes then yell loudly into the air: "D*MMIT JAYT, I appreciate it, but STAY OUT OF MY SHOWER!" You hear the echo of a laugh, then realize the sudden firmness in your hand is the hotdog - now a bar of soap again - and breathe a sigh of relief that it's not something else...
Without a doubt, one for the WTF? Chronicles.
Some say he can mimic any bird call by just whistling.
Others say he runs with the bulls.
I've heard tale that he once tamed a wild tiger just by staring at it.
There have been claims that he was once spotted in the woods... shaking hands with Bigfoot, but all those photos are blury.
JayT's gravitas whispers to horses from miles away.
This man dances with real wolves.
True Story
Others say he runs with the bulls.
I've heard tale that he once tamed a wild tiger just by staring at it.
There have been claims that he was once spotted in the woods... shaking hands with Bigfoot, but all those photos are blury.
JayT's gravitas whispers to horses from miles away.
This man dances with real wolves.
True Story
'Twas the Night before Christmas, And all through THP,
Not a creature was stirring, not even geeme;
The stockings were hung round the Forum with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there;
The members were nestled all snug in their threads,
While visions of Scorpions danced in their heads;
And The Boss in his 'kerchief, and new pepper cap,
Had just settled his brains for a long winter's nap;
When out in the street there came a loud shout,
Dan sprang from the bed to see what that was about;
Away to the window he flew like the flash,
Threw back the curtains and moved his dried pepper stash;
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer;
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Dan knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He was pulling a jack from the back of his sleigh,
And he noticed a runner had fallen away;
Dan yelled "Santa, has something gone wrong?
I'll be right down" and put his coat on;
He flew down the stairs taking 2 at a time,
To find that Dear Santa was in quite a bind;
Santa said, "I bumped into something on that last roof,
And now my left runner is hanging real loose";
Dan said, "No problem, there's a friend who you'll see,
Can fix that for you and his name is JayT."
At the sound of that name the night became still,
And all felt a warmth in spite of the chill;
With the smell of Microwaved Dogs and a shimmery glow,
JayT appeared with his hammer in tow;
He said "Santa don't worry, I'll fix you up quick.
I have something right here that should do the trick";
Then he pulled from the air 2 perfect dogs,
Removed the old runners and soon had them installed;
Santa said, "JayT you have saved my flight,
Now I must get going if I'm to finish this night;
He jumped in his sleigh and recover his reigns,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Donder and Blitzen;
"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all;
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So into the night the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too;
And all round the world when children arose,
To find the new toys St. Nicholas had chose;
They found on the plates where cookies had rest,
Perfect microwaved dogs with just the right touch of relish;
And Santa did ponder ere he drive out of sight,
Just who JayT was, his powers, his might;
We've all often wondered about this fantastic boy,
Who's brought to us all oh so much joy;
But he looked ore his shoulder at the marvelous sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Not a creature was stirring, not even geeme;
The stockings were hung round the Forum with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there;
The members were nestled all snug in their threads,
While visions of Scorpions danced in their heads;
And The Boss in his 'kerchief, and new pepper cap,
Had just settled his brains for a long winter's nap;
When out in the street there came a loud shout,
Dan sprang from the bed to see what that was about;
Away to the window he flew like the flash,
Threw back the curtains and moved his dried pepper stash;
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer;
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Dan knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He was pulling a jack from the back of his sleigh,
And he noticed a runner had fallen away;
Dan yelled "Santa, has something gone wrong?
I'll be right down" and put his coat on;
He flew down the stairs taking 2 at a time,
To find that Dear Santa was in quite a bind;
Santa said, "I bumped into something on that last roof,
And now my left runner is hanging real loose";
Dan said, "No problem, there's a friend who you'll see,
Can fix that for you and his name is JayT."
At the sound of that name the night became still,
And all felt a warmth in spite of the chill;
With the smell of Microwaved Dogs and a shimmery glow,
JayT appeared with his hammer in tow;
He said "Santa don't worry, I'll fix you up quick.
I have something right here that should do the trick";
Then he pulled from the air 2 perfect dogs,
Removed the old runners and soon had them installed;
Santa said, "JayT you have saved my flight,
Now I must get going if I'm to finish this night;
He jumped in his sleigh and recover his reigns,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Donder and Blitzen;
"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all;
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So into the night the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too;
And all round the world when children arose,
To find the new toys St. Nicholas had chose;
They found on the plates where cookies had rest,
Perfect microwaved dogs with just the right touch of relish;
And Santa did ponder ere he drive out of sight,
Just who JayT was, his powers, his might;
We've all often wondered about this fantastic boy,
Who's brought to us all oh so much joy;
But he looked ore his shoulder at the marvelous sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Hot dogs for sleigh rails?
Did you know that you can go use a hotdog for bowling?
You just roll a hotdog down a hallway.
My ex wife and I used to play that game.
True story.
You just roll a hotdog down a hallway.
My ex wife and I used to play that game.
True story.
TB that's bitterness callin. But that very same bitterness teaches you the blues, so I can't say siht.