food Too Drunk/messed up to take pics of my drunken eats

S

smokemaster

I decided to down a few Rum and Cokes.
 
I got hungry and opened a few canns and cracked some eggs(actually droppped them in a bowllll and stranned out the shells).
 
I heated up a can of Chipotle adobooos , Refreds beenes , Corn beef hash and 6 eggs(couldave been 3,I might be seeings doubles).
 
Tossed it in or on a couple wheat tortillas (might have been moldy flour tortillas,I don't know for sure).
 
After several months of Chemo and no Booze,I did a bit of drinkin today.
 
Got hungry...
 
All you peoplee out there that are properly drunk,who couldn't use a camera or grab their ass with both hands...
Post your recipes here,IF you can type.
It took me 3 hrs to type and re type this.................
 
No pics,it did happen?
Too drunk to make tis k rap uppsss.
 
I don't remember fer shur,butts I putt some french frozzins ,stakes fris in the ovennnn an added them to the above befor i putt thwem in the flat things an wet them.
 
On tinking bout tit,I mite nota had totrillasd I found that I sit ina loaves of wheat breds.
 
Pots after the sells of ooze are moor leivable.
 
Awww yeah...somebody else is one Skrimps level!

I got you smoke master...
Grouper ribs (leftovers from filleting)
1 stick salted Butter
1 bottleBeer
Garlic
Old bay
Bay leaf
Hot peppers of course
Black pepper

Smoke the grouper and baste with that stuff. Don't smoke it till its all dry and shi$$y, just done and smokey.

Mix with cream cheese, carmalozed onions, various cheeses, roasted peppers, and top with crispy bacon. Other seasoning s of course.

Deconstructed jalapeño popper smoked grouper dip.
You're welcome
 
Bad Guy?
Don noo.
I jus sees some u the rulz on other postses.
 
Caemalizzeded onins,is dat wat ya get when ya space/passes out for a few min. when your coking sumthin?
Brownded ,if ya din wake ups they'd be bark on da curned beefs...
 
I tink I donz sum Groping ribs du uther nights.
I gots a blck an bluu marks ta prove its.
She stungs lik a beez an kiked like a mulez...
 
Ya aren't runk nuff,Ya membered the mezermants...
well i guez 1 stick a butter was probly cuz ya couldn't meazure it eny udder way,an a bottles a bear is a commin ting to add too.
mite u been properlee buzzzzzeded.
 
Zonds gud eder ways.
 
I fergeted,I added some yellow scorionz powders to my ....ummm .....uh ....stuff in past 1.
 
I just got a bottle of rum...
Not drunk yet,but will be.
I hope-can't tell sometimes with Chemo effects...
 
I just fired up the smoker and rubbed down a couple whole Briskets - 20+lbs trimmed.
 
Haven't decided on a mop or finishing sauce yet.
Or even if I need either - Takes a few drinks to decide.
 
I'll most probably be drunk while cooking it up and deciding on what I want to do.
 
Side note:
Never knew there was only 1 key of everything on my keyboard.
I thought my keyboard was for the disabled - it had 2 of everything on it in case I missed a key.
 
Always thought there was 2 of every key BUT 1 always posted ( or whatever) a different character/letter or?
 
I'll edit this post as I smoke my Meat...
 
Edit
 
Rub turned out a little sweep and needed more heat.
I guess that's what I get for not being drunk enough when I made up the rub...
 
Only had a haf gal. of rum ta rink today.
So I had ta go ree supply my liabationary supplies.
 
Vallarta grocery store is only a few staggers and a fall or 2 away.
Right next to my bank(bad news).
 
Right off I saw that they had Crawdads for $2.99Lb,Longastina,Chorizo and best of all Salvadorian Chorizo.
 
I decided I needed a little shy of $40.00 worth of them (5lbs of Dads just to start...)
 
On the stagger home I went into the 99cent store for no name cola and several boxes of Tony Chachere's Gumbo mix.
Not the best,but if ya add enough stuff it isn't bad.
 
I cooked up chunks of each sausage after skinning it.(Made at the store as needed.GREAT stuff).
 
Then I got the fake Gumbo mix going.
 
Added a bunch a stuff/spices/onions etc.(the trinitity an rue) along wif the cooked sausage chunks.
 
After a few more drinks I added a bunch of dad tails.
Saved the sucked heads for future use-froze um fer stock.
 
I almost added some smoked brisket but added smokered Manzaner powders for the smokey tastes insteads.
 
I wish the dads weren't pre cooked.
I used to get them live and boil them with all the right stuff.
WAY better than these.
 
But this batch wasn't bad after I cooked them up with the sausage etc.
 
On my way back from an appointment,I staggered into Vallarta (I think).
 
I ended up home with 2 whole skinless,boneless schiken rests.
So I decided I needed to do something with them and headed accrosss the street to get some no name soda to mix with my rum.
 
Ahhhhh,the not 99cent store anymores.........
 
Sawd sum cans that says Dinner starters-seasund mato sause for chile , then petite cut diced tomatoes with chipotle and den some rosa riter refied beanz wif jalapenos.
So atter a stumble or too homz I find myselfs back in my kikchen.
 
I decides to mix about a pint of rumz wif a few oz. uv run and constemplates how to mix this stuff together to make something to eat or feed to da dog.
 
I find 3 med. onions,1 garlic bulb an a bottle of mixed super hot powder.
I cuts everting up,chiken,onun,galic and put tit in a pot.
Add 2 canz each uh the diner stufs an the tomaters.
I find it's time ta mix and drink another rumz an not realz coke (a 64oz. double gulp glass filled 7/8 up with dark rumz and adds just enuff fake soda ta make it a little brown coloreds).
 
When I goes into the fridge for da sodas, I sees a gal. bottle with bout 2 cups u picled jalapinos en it.
I also saws a couple bottles uf Habanero sauce too... mayanik red habanero rojo sauce.
I tosses them - 2 bottles uf sauce an the jalapenos in the pot too along wif a haf cups or so uf the juices frum the penos.
 
I put the pot in the fridge to decide whenz I actually wants to put the pots on the fires.
Also decidin if I should adds some u da smokes brisket I got in da freezer from the time I woke up wif briskets in my smokerz not long agoes.
 
Wen its time to makes unoder drink I decides to put the pot of whatever it is I mixed together earlier on the stove set on low an let it cook for a few ours.
 
After I dont no how longs I seed the stuffs dat was simmerin on da stove smells and looks perty gud.
I breaks out a couple u vallarta fresh made turtillas and pile a cuple spoonfulz of the stuff frum the pot in it fer a burrritttooe.
 
I goes to looks fer some jax an charp cheder that I think I rememberz buyin a wile back only to see 2 plastic rapped green thingz that are kinda vibratin in the drawer of my fridge.
Too runk to go buyz sum more scheezes so I just mix anudder drink an eats my scheezless stuffs rapped in the white thing that keeps dripping sauces down my armz an chin.
Tomorrow I gots to get some scheezes an maybee sum avacado or sumting when I gets my daily rumz supplies.
 
Betcha it tastes betters the second dayz.
 
Next ting I gotta do I gess iz smoke the 30 lb. chunk u London Broilz I rubbed down a couple dayz ago an am letting soak up the rub till tumorrroww I think.Maybee ta next dayz.
Windy az heck out wif the sanity annas an I'm fraid mt 64 ozer might gets blown over while I'm messin wif tha smokersz.
 
We'll seeee.
 
Almost din members,I saw some limez in the fridginater next to the 2 fuzzy green vibrating thingses and squeezed them into the pot.
I hads to take da cover offa the pots fer a whilz to get the stuffs to thicken up.
 
I spilleded sum uh ma drinks onda stoves and whilz lickin it up I sawd sum spilled stuff mixed in wif my drink spillins.
There waz some brown powder,tastess like my smokeded Poblano powder,sum green dry flower budz like stuff dat tastes like mexican regano an something that tastes like taco mixes,I think I detracted a bit uh spilleded cumino two.
.
So I musta added sum uh that stuffs to the pot too at sum time.
Pot sure smelleded guuud while it wuz bubbling awayz.
 
Waz going to add sum u the powder stuff ya make turtillos outa but got dat ideas outa my heads when I remonber the timz I tried messin wif flours an had to clean wite stuff offa da floorz the next dayz.
I have a black dog,she waz gray the days I cleaned the flours up.

SkrimpSkrampy,no more drunkenz culinairy delights?
 
I hope it ant cuz yer soberz...due to surcumstanzes beyond yer cuntrolz.
 
I took a big bag and 1/2 of 99 cent store noodles (25 oz.dry +/-)
cooked them.
grated a chunk of motzarella and a chunk of sharp chedar to the drained , hot noodles.
mixed it up gud.
added 2 cans of hunts mushroom spagetti sauce.
Poured on a ton of red Lava powder from Judy.
 
IF I was into planing ahead,I'd have added some kind of meat product.
Sausage,Bacon,Ham or whatever.
 
Bought a new Weber kettle the other day and today was it's first proper test run. Twas a warm day with the sun beating down like a bitch when  Iliggted the grilll. The party consisted of my parents and my bro, his girlfriend and kid. Being the first time using a kettle charcoal grill, we had troubles lighting the coal, so my bro decides to put a shit ton of firtelighters in, resulting in a huge flame. Ofcourse, I give him sh!t but luckily the fire calmed down and by now we were all a good 5000000000000000000000000000 litres of bourbon and coke and beer down.
 
Once the coals reached cooking temp we threw on some sliced pork belly, lamb loin chops marinated in bourbon sauce, chicken wings, sausages, rissoles, lamb cutlets, and I can't remember what else. All I knew there was a crap ton of food. THe marinade from the lamb cutlets dripped onto the coal so we had a big fire raging so those babies will have to be flame grilled. They turned out wonderful soft in the end :D We also chucked on some prawn skewers, baked potatoes, a spatchcock and a salmon which apparently turned out awesome. 
 
The highlights of the ensuing meal were the bourbon marinated lamb chops, my bro fell in love with 'em :D But pretty much everything we cooked turned out nice, so a very success ful christening for my new Weber :D 
 
btw, coals get real freaking hot, never would've imagined! 
 
Sounds really cool.
As long as the Bourbon Marinate wasn't second hand stuff...added while looking for ralph or earl...
 
Tonites specialty was a kinda chile rellano/casarole type thing.
 
A dozen eggs (it looked like that many anyways-but I was seeing double or breaking 2x the eggs or 1/2 that many eggs,not sure.
 
I had a couple fresh yellow hot peppers (Caribe?) from Mex. Mart,a couple Anaheims and some red Lava from Judy.
 
I had 2 chunks of cheese,Sharp Chedar and Jack.
 
I broke the eggs in a bowl.
sprayed a 12 x12 or so glass looking dish with what looked like cooking spray.
Might have been WD40...
 
Anyway I put the fresh peppers on a way too hot camel till the smoke alarm went off.
Peppers were nice and toasted,I think.
I ran them under water that took off the skin.
 
I ended up with a layer of peppers,then shreded cheese,a later of the yellow ones then cheese.
Poured the eggs (and shell piesces) on the whole thing.
Shook the crap out of it till the eggs sank down evenly.
Topped with more cheese and put in the oven for a while.
I think I used 350 for the temp. but i caught a nap and it was done when I woke up.
Crispy cheese top.
Really tastey.
 
Topped the whole thing out of the oven with a good sprinkle of Lava powder.
Was REALLY cool looking - LAVA Powder on top of Bubbling cheese - Volcano looking.
 
Just because you may or may not be drunk, you don't have to type like a 9 year old kid to get the point across. To me it looks like you put in an effort to mispell werds whn u tipe. As shitty as I have ever been, I can still manage to put words on paper. Thank you for your recipes and such but it overwerked, muh bad, mabe I am tu drukn to undrestanded.
 
I guess you didn't notice I only started out writing like I did.
 
The style didn't seem to work,and was too much hassle to write.
 
Last 2 recipes were not written the same way as the first couple.
 
As for typing,mine sucks,chemo left my hands shaky and I do hit a few stray keys at times along with the key I intended on hitting.
I don't always catch the stray number or letter to edit it out...
 
Actually,I don't think it's any worse than a lot of people write these days - textese or whatever using acronyms etc. for everything.
 
No hate intended, just call them like I see them. I agree, many people these days lack the ability to communicate clearly. Unfortunately, I am just in a profession where it is sometimes my job to edit documents and check for technical errors. Nature of the beast I guess so sometimes I am sensitive to these types of things. Again, no hate at all. Have a good one.
 
chiefmanywrenches said:
Just because you may or may not be drunk, you don't have to type like a 9 year old kid to get the point across. To me it looks like you put in an effort to mispell werds whn u tipe. As shitty as I have ever been, I can still manage to put words on paper. Thank you for your recipes and such but it overwerked, muh bad, mabe I am tu drukn to undrestanded.
Click to expand...
 
 
Not sure if you know or not but it is mandatory that you have at least a 100 post before you talk shit like that. Some of us only have a 8th grade edjumacation. Not cool to tease those with disabliaties.
 
If you call that talking crap then get over it, that was nothing and I already said I wasn't hating. I understand that some folks may have disabilities but it had nothing to do with that and I was only making a statement. Lets not get into a pissing contest here. Once again, no hate to the OP just pointing out the obvious.
 
I hope the guy doesn't find my stories about pepper deliveries I've gotten...that I posted in the lobby.
 
Probably break the spell checker.   :)
 
In case some people didn't figure it out yet,they may or may not be 100% factual (like a lot of stuff on the net).
 
Only you can decide. LOL
 
Gonna hit up Vallarta (not the city,the Mex. mart up the street.I bank there a lot.Deeposites only)for the  -
 
2lb. for a buck roma tomatoes (smoke dried mateers maybe)
 
$1.79lb chicken breasts
 
pig end chops and country meat strips - $1.59 and $1.99
 
and a ton(=smoker full) of
$.79Lb. chicken thighs 
 
in the next day or so.
Time for some pyrotecnics in  the smoker and a few new drunk eats on the stove.
 
Only Bacarde and Jose know for sure.
 
Get your Speil czecherz started....
 
I just got baak from Vallarta with Chiken brests(boobs),varius dryd pepperz and I gits ta go back tomorrow fer the other stuf on sale.
Since I walk to the store,I have to make a cuple trips to clean up on the stuf on sail (toe matterz,an Pork-Both country ribs anz pig end chops.don fergets the thighs - Ahh brests an thighs...gotsta luv it.).
 
Got sum newdles , lasagnee sauce an sausage from the $.99 store.
 
Got a cardord cuntainer of the INVITATION Parmeeson/Ramano cheze tu.
 
Don ferget I still have the LAVA POWDERS from Judy.
 
 
Don't worry,I got some beer an Rum too.
 
I'm constipating what kine of eats I'll makee after a few brews an a drink or 4.
Will edit as time gose on.
I pretty much know what I'll make,but it sounds better after a couple belts.
Also a few belts help in deciding on specific ingreediants to use-spices etc.
 
Cheers!
Be back in a drink or 10...
 
PS.
SHOP at Vallarta on Sepulveda in N.Hills on Thursday afternoon.
SEVERAL really cheerful and GREAT looking cashiers and baggers (Not 2 baggers) working today.
Made it REALLY HARD to decide what line to get into to fully enjoy the scenery...Hard to find a slow line too (more time to check out the scenery).
 
Ill post soon about a recipe.
 
Got sidetracked, 
 
A friend of the Female variety stopped by with good eats - Tommy double Chile Burgers,Chile Fries AND pickled Yellow pepper.
 
She came over for a bit of the IN N Out ..
We got hungry after working out at Cupids gymnasium and went from there.
Second food attach was still burger related
In n out are the 2 places close by that rock.
 
Gotta say, 
I think that the Burgers at Fat Burger are Way past Great!
 
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