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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
One final note..we drank like sailors on payday and when it was time to take him back to his hotel, mrs. blues poured both me and Jay into her truck and we took his drunk ass home. If I recall correctly, he hooked up afterwards with some of his PA work bros and continued to party til the wee wee hours. Man can out b.s. me. Out cook me. And sure as hell out drink me. Most likely out "hot me"...but I'll fo' 'sho catch more fish than him.....Jay I salute you sir!

The legend of JT continues...
One time JT came down to Miami to enjoy some soflo tomfoolery. Suddenly, a hurricane attacked us as JT was getting ready to whip up a batch of mojitos. In a flash, as the rest of us were pinned to the floor due to the cyclonic gusts, JT flew up into the sky with a bag full of fresh limes. He hoisted the limes into the air with his bear-like fists and squeezed the juice into the sky. The rain became a tart, citrusy blend of lime juice and JT's awesomeness. As he flew back to my house, the hurricane had no choice but to leave.
Then JT made some awesome hot-dogs in my microwave.

True story...
 
Well....Happy Birthday Sum!!!
We did a birthday dinner a few nights ago. The night before his birthday. Then, on his actual birthday, we decided we needed to celebrate this proper.
I give you:
Sum's Leftover Churrasco Quesadilla Busch Light Surprise.

Sauteed up some mushrooms, garlic, onions, and poblanos. Warmed up the leftover churrasco. Opened up a fresh bag of cheese and tortillas. Magic ensued.
Oh yea, busted out some vintage Busch Lights, guacamole, salsa, and sour cream.
I haven't seen this kind of debauchery since the last time me and Sum got drunk and needed more beer. We were getting ready to make a busch light run (drunk), when out of nowhere, JT flew down from the heavens and said, "Keys, gentlemen!".
We proceeded to give him our keys (we were in no shape to drive), and JT stole my debit card and flew to the gas station and returned with two bottles of Boones Farm Strawberry Kiwi wine.
We were drunk for days. He always pulls through.
But for this night, we were happy.
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FD
 
venison fajita w/yellow, orange, red bell, onions, tomatoes, & el yucateco mayan hot sauce (kinda blends in). spanish rice & refried beans.
with night stalker stout from goose island.

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FD4 - vintage Busch Light :rofl:
 
Well....Happy Birthday Sum!!!
We did a birthday dinner a few nights ago. The night before his birthday. Then, on his actual birthday, we decided we needed to celebrate this proper.
I give you:
Sum's Leftover Churrasco Quesadilla Busch Light Surprise.

Sauteed up some mushrooms, garlic, onions, and poblanos. Warmed up the leftover churrasco. Opened up a fresh bag of cheese and tortillas. Magic ensued.
Oh yea, busted out some vintage Busch Lights, guacamole, salsa, and sour cream.
I haven't seen this kind of debauchery since the last time me and Sum got drunk and needed more beer. We were getting ready to make a busch light run (drunk), when out of nowhere, JT flew down from the heavens and said, "Keys, gentlemen!".
We proceeded to give him our keys (we were in no shape to drive), and JT stole my debit card and flew to the gas station and returned with two bottles of Boones Farm Strawberry Kiwi wine.
We were drunk for days. He always pulls through.
But for this night, we were happy.
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FD

Glad I could help gentleman. Oh, and nice work CH.
 
Thanks for the B-Day wishes, gents.

It was fun, as you can clearly see, and made all that much better by the vintage Busch Light FD broke out for the special occasion.

Cheers
 
Got some jerk boneless legs going on... I know no pics didn`t happen :crazy:

Still can taste the deliciousosness :dance: maybe if the cam gets it ya`ll can see it!

Along wid the Stoli and pineapple :lol:

Drunk again at my own barstool... What??? Cha going sit there??? :rofl: Better be able to handle it then :mouthonfire:

All my rowdy friends are comin over tonight-Bocephus
 
Here is a starter... no promises after though :rofl:
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Kinda on the downside of drunkazz and going further till...till...well ya`ll knows :rofl:

Party is on :dance: c y`all maybe kekekekeeeee :rofl:
 
Ohhhhh...... Hittman pushed the button.

Ain't no "Band Camp" in this story...

This one time I was.... I was in.... no...... Wait.... I was drunk.

And then this girl... this girl was like... all giggly'n'shit.

And I was like "What's up?"

And she was like "Nothing"



True Story
 
Just something fast - nothing flashy. Baked up some bread today and used some of the dough to make a few buns. (Not so pretty - but tasted good!) Buns have chopped jalapeno, cayenne, and red pepper flakes.

Some spicy turkey burgers on top of a bleu cheese spread and topped with some BBQ sauce made and canned by my grandpa.

Are these plates precious or what?

Sorry for the poorly executed photos!

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Very nice Marcie. I see you are an accomplished Drunken Chef already. Not sure about the drunken part though, the jury is still out as the cap is still on the beer. We're watching you Norton!

Now onto tonight's festivities. Thai Porterhouse with Green Chile Sauce.

I marinated this in a bunch of Thai stuff, cilantro, green onion, Thai basil, garlic, ginger, jalapeno (I was out of Thai peppers), lime juice, olive oil, and peppadew/cilantro rub, and fish sauce.

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The beer is from a local brewery here called Appalachian. It is called Hoppy Trails IPA

Tomorrow: Pho
 
Looks awesome! I would trade you meals for sure.

I'll have to take an updated photo in a minute here of the empty bottles I've accumulated tonight. :P
 
The Drunken Chef is back! Amazing entries above. Marcie with the awesomeness in the bread (wow) and JayT wit the perfect MR steak.
 
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