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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
There's a store called "Sprouts"...I had to leave before draining the savings account.

Red habs...I tossed a peach in the pic for a size reference:

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Dinner...how about some queso...

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Melt the cheese, add a little Shiner...and toss in the goodies:

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Ready to eat:

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Holy shat-monkeys was that the hottest queso I've ever had. The arbols were a waste...green arbols are too bitter. I would have been better off adding a couple of red jalapenos.
 
Hahahahaha lunchbox, so you basically just melted cheese, put peppers in it, and ate it... Now that is some drunken cheffing like crazy, and it sounds right up my ally. Yum.

JayT, your "testing" looks really tedious ;) Those bbq'd shrimps have my drunken belly grumbling like crazy
 
Hahahahaha lunchbox, so you basically just melted cheese, put peppers in it, and ate it... Now that is some drunken cheffing like crazy, and it sounds right up my ally. Yum.

No shit!
If I ate that I'd explode! Muahaha.

Looks like amazingly good drunkenenened food though! :D
 
I think I drank for 4 days straight. Had to get back to my drunken chef roots.

With no disrespect to anyone here (I'm guilty myself), there's a bit too much foo for a bunch of drunkards.
I decided to take a bit of the shine off the DC. Consider this a little Johnny Cash.

Had a bunch of leftover 4th of July food.
Toasted up some sourdough on the griddle slathered in herb butter.
Cut a Nathans lengthwise and slapped it on the black skillet.
Took some leftover smoked pork loin, put a few slices on the skillet with some Texas Creek Hot.
A slice of American Cheese.
Some Pikliz.
Slap it all together and enjoy with a big drunken smile.

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Of course....how stoopid of me :doh: LEFTOVERS !

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3rd day in a row but finally there's no more Sunday brunch in the fridge!!
 
Hahahahaha lunchbox, so you basically just melted cheese, put peppers in it, and ate it... Now that is some drunken cheffing like crazy, and it sounds right up my ally. Yum.

LOL...I'm actually finishing it right now with second (I promise) 34oz. tankard of (cheap) rum and diet Dr. Thunder...but I mixed the queso with a can ofRanch Style beans, and a little left over sloppy-joe from...hell, I don't know...but I think I read somewhere that hab's can kill e-coli.
 
There's a store called "Sprouts"...I had to leave before draining the savings account.

Red habs...I tossed a peach in the pic for a size reference:

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I'm wondering if these are "Red Savinas"...I was treating them as regular hab's...but these damn things are so hot, they are actually turning my stomach a little. Damn good though...
 
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