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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
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You'd have to start over to make it all legit for the comp. There is something we call Proof of Life that proves you made it for this comp, and it requires taking a picture of the ingredients or finished burger with .25 in money.
 
The burger looks delicious! You have till Sunday if you want to make another. And one pic has to be cut in half. I think your bite would have counted here though, lol.
 
If that was 25 cents you could work it into fitting if you made it today after the TD was announced. Which seems like you did. But if you don't have a quarter and the leftover for a new pic, no. Sorry.
 
YES!
 
I'll help you with the rules, if you need, pm me. And post it in the TD, not here.
 
Thanks for the compliments guys. I don't post often but lurk a lot and the burger thread always gives me great ideas. 
 
 
frydad4 said:
Ash...whats in the relish?
 
great double burger!
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We make a couple cases of mason pint jars every couple of years.  Off the top of my head what
I remember from the recipe,  cukes, green tomatoes, onion, celery,green pepper, hot pepper(cherry bombs), cabbage, sugar, vinegar and salt.  
 
Triple stacker. 3 slabs of beef, cheese, seasoned with S+P, Garlic Powder and Cayenne pepper. Topped with the all important bacon. I've got a really good seasoning recipe for the mince but it's quite involved and takes a long time to prepare, can't be stuffed at night after work so stuck with the basics. 
 
 
 
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Damn guud lookin' cheeseburger there HK!
 
That's a big honkin' thang.
 
And its levitating in the 3rd pic.
 
Or is it in orbit with its own gravitational field?
 
Aussie cheeseburgers = science
 
Smart!
 
mrs. blues likes to be liking to buy stuff and eat maybe 1/4 of it and leave the rest in the fridge until I eat or it gets thrown.
 
I ain't throwin' nuthin' out dadgummit!
 
Ever body here knows I'm a whore for an In-N-Out Single Cheese Animal Style Burger.
 
Scroll back through this thread and I've posted pics of it more than a few times.
 
Part of the INO technique for the animal style is to not only cook the burger on the griddle on top of the onions but 
 
also to give each burger a splooge of yeller' mustard as its cooking.
 
My version is smash technique in cast iron.
 
You don't want the pan too hot or you'll burn sheeit up.
 
This is about medium heat and you get see the steam coming off on the right.
 

 
Although I didn't press each burger quite even enough, dig on the crust after only about 45 seconds and a flip.
 

 
2 seconds after I flipped I took the pic and 2 seconds later hit the burger with a small slice of Tillamook cheddar.
 
Got a slight melt on it and then onto a toasted squishy bun with pickled 'peno's and Best Maid dill pickle chips, a
 
Texas favorite. 
 
I should mention I didn't season the burger as between the 'peno's, pickles, and yeller' mustard, there was plenty of vinegar
 
and salt a'plenty already. Any more added salt would have been too much.
 

 
Smash technique will always appear over cooked but not so. Still juicy as hell.
 

 
There is one way to make this burger better y'all. One way and one way only.
 
Grind your own chuck. Or make it a combo of chuck, short rib, and brisket.
 
But grind your own.
 
And let me also say this....
 
Grilled burgers over open flame, broiled, griddled, smoked, backyard, cheffy pub burgers...
 
I've had 'em and cooked them all.
 
In my personal opinion, nothing beats smashed in cast iron or on a griddle to get that maillard crust. I adds significant flavor
 
and texture to the burger while keeping it juicy and never ever dry. For the discerning burger afficionado's out there you owe it 
 
to yourself to do a side by side comparison. Throw a party and have at it. Make a backyard burger on your weber grill and also
 
one in the CI ala smashed. Sure y'all love that flame kissed charcoal burger but that technique is hit or miss.
 
 I don't care if I ever have an over charcoal carbon fouled dry meat puck ever again.
 
If you love burgers like I do, smash technique is puro chingon! THE BEST!
 
Another 'thang I've found interesting. Pull your toppings and condiments from the fridge out early. 
 
Don't top that melty perfectly cooked cheese burger with reefer cold pickles, ketchup, mayo, tomato, etc.
 
Hear me now, 'bleed me later, you'll enjoy that burger way mo' betta'.
 
 
Trust.
 
A no frills bacon cheeseburger looking like that definitely would have been a TD contender! Bacon and sauteed onion bookends, and triple patty/cheese...BBQ sauce... looks juicy as hell!
 
The Hot Pepper said:
A no frills bacon cheeseburger looking like that definitely would have been a TD contender! Bacon and sauteed onion bookends, and triple patty/cheese...BBQ sauce... looks juicy as hell!
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I reckon you're talkin' about HK's awesome bacon cheeseburger.
 
And you would be correctomundo senor.
 
That burger would have smoked many asses in the throwdown.
 
While I am biased and have my favorite style of burger, there is no denying the incredible burger awesomenessess that 
 
THP peep's can whoop up.
 
HK rocked it!
 
Yeah that one!

I like your style TB, but if me, I'd cook the burger on both sides and the onions separate. I need a nice sear on both sides. Then I'd put the bun atop the onions to get some onion steam. Instead of onion-steaming the one side of the burger. In this case, an onion/mustard side.

The reason they originally did that style was griddle space, but you have plenty and can get the double sear. I don't think they cooked it in mustard though. :P
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Yeah that one!

I like your style TB, but if me, I'd cook the burger on both sides and the onions separate. I need a nice sear on both sides. Then I'd put the bun atop the onions to get some onion steam. Instead of onion-steaming the one side of the burger. In this case, an onion/mustard side.

The reason they originally did that style was griddle space, but you have plenty and can get the double sear. I don't think they cooked it in mustard though. :P
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No the mustard thang is an INO thang.
 
And I like to be liking it.
 
I've done the sear on both sides myself with onion on the side as you suggested but it wasn't the same.
 
In fact the patty was woefully overcooked and dry with too much time on the heat overall.
 
The fat was totally cooked out.
 
I've tried the White Manna style of cooking the burger with the buns on top but haven't gotten the sear on both sides
 
due to the onions steaming.
 
Not that White Manna style isn't awesome as it is.
 
That joint is #1 on my bucket list for burger joints.
 
My riff is based on George Motz's and while I've posted it before I will again as it has been and currently is the way I do
 
my favorite burgers.
 
At first I was skeptical but then I did it just as seen in this video.
 
It was the best burger I ever ate by a 1,000 miles.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hmqub1mpqzI
 
I hear ya. I'll try it! I wonder if a small dice of onion would work instead of paper thin rings. For the purpose of embedment, and getting more sear. What say you? Or is the whole purpose that it floats??

PS
texas blues said:
I've done the sear on both sides myself with onion on the side as you suggested but it wasn't the same.
 
In fact the patty was woefully overcooked and dry with too much time on the heat overall.
 
The fat was totally cooked out.
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Don't use supermarket grind ask the butcher for coarse grind. When you loose pack a burger it does not cook "as one" and the thin spaghetti grind will cook a lot faster. I only use coarse grind for burgers.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
I hear ya. I'll try it! I wonder if a small dice of onion would work instead of paper thin rings. For the purpose of embedment, and getting more sear. What say you? Or is the whole purpose that it floats??
Click to expand...
 
That's a very good question.
 
In my earlier posts in this thread you will see I did diced onions first and then put down the meat and smashed.
 
While it was damn good, I didn't get the sear and the onion flavor wasn't as good as pressing into the meat.
 
The best for my own taste comes from doing it like George's video.
 
And to be sure, when I first saw the video I called bullshit.
 
I was skeptical at best and tried to pick it apart.
 
And then I did it for myself.
 
Have mercy!
 
The main thang was the grinding of your own meat, and then the super thin onion rings pressed in.
 
And also the proper temp in the cast iron.
 
That is just my own opinion and experience and you and others should feel free to debate and contest it whole heartedly.
 
As I did.
 
Kinda' like the chili beans/ no beans 'thang...there is truly no right way.
 
Some would say that the Frita Burger that Sum posted in the t-down is not a true burger.
 
I would say it is a regional thang and is every bit authentic as the very first burger ever conceived....
 
Which by the way...
 
Louis Lunch ain't it.
 
Just because Congress says it is don't mean its so.
 
While I believe that it was Fletcher Davis from Athens TX, many years prior to Louis Lunch and evidence suggests as much
 
who can say that those damn stinkin' Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root burgers didn't invent it.
 
Stinkin' Aussie's.
 
Why does ever body want to be like you?
 
Bastiges!
 
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