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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
D3monic said:
Sloppy joes are kinda a burger right?
That's a fine meal! Salt the ketchup, not the fry, interesting technique. :D

(Mostly just commenting that because the photo is so crisp.)
 
grantmichaels said:
Two sammies, hold the fries! ;) ...

That reminds me of an epic food-fight in the school caf ...
 
I'm going for a third if there's any left. 
The Hot Pepper said:
That's a fine meal! Salt the ketchup, not the fry, interesting technique. :D

(Mostly just commenting that because the photo is so crisp.)
 
I salt the fries too but sticks better if its on the ketchup :p   I like it salty  :eek:
 
Saving burgers ...

JHP gifted some jar'd sauce w/ my last order, and tonight I'm grill-bot'ing some Mexified cheddar and jalapeno double patty madness in smokey Benton's heaven ... w/ chipotle powder, JHP's sauce, pickled peno slices, 10 yr cheddar, and a Searzall'd schmear of sour cream on a fresh roll from my spot.

Fuck, yeah ...

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Then I plopped the burgers down on the searing hot griddle, and put a small patty of bacon fat on top, too ...

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Just like erecting a building ...

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Here comes ...

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#Pink #VDay

Easily the tastiest thing in ages ...
 
Hell yeah, today is all about getting into some pink!!!!
 
 
How was the sauce on there? I am down to my last 3 jars :( 


I'll be having another tomorrow, good.
 
JHP's sauce had it held down. Good shit ... credit him that no Heinz was needed ;)

The griddler is one of the best kitchen gadgets of all, Sum gets the credit for discovery ...

Benton's bacon fat brings what you wish Liquid Smoke would, BigB gets credit for that ...

Built on the work of others. Great artist's steal and all ...
 
Have mercy GM.
 
One of the bestest posts you've ever made.
 
I don't agree with the grill but there is no ambiguity in the outcome.
 
You got it done.
 
It rocks harder than chinese arithmetic. 
 
I like to be liking the meat, the bun, the scheeze, the whole shebang.
 
I'd mao that burger like it was my last meal.
 
Very nice burger! Searzalled sour cream? LOL. You cray cray.
 
texas blues said:
I don't agree with the grill but there is no ambiguity in the outcome.
 
Oh hell no, you're a flattop snob now? :lol: Okay you have a big badass flattop but the grill bot is still cool! It's the iMac of griddles!
 
I've cooked a lot of surprisingly good food on that thang, and Danielle wields it like Excalibur at this point ...
 
If you are going to slice a double-stack of juicy, purposely undercooked burgers on a bun, you are going to need to do something to protect the bun from the wetness ... and in my hood, that's toasted fat ...
 
I normally use mayo, but I figured sour cream would be in theme w/ the chipotle, peno, hot sauce I was using ...
 
I don't like it when the bun turns to wet TP ... complete w/ pink spotting, no less ... yuck!
 
grantmichaels said:
I don't like it when the bun turns to wet TP ... complete w/ pink spotting, no less ... yuck!
 
Dude I hate that too! If you cook the burger at high temp fast for MR, instead of on medium heat, the juices run clear not red. Yeah I hate that too. Nice job sealing the bun. Mad scientist! 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Very nice burger! Searzalled sour cream? LOL. You cray cray.
 
 
Oh hell no, you're a flattop snob now? :lol: Okay you have a big badass flattop but the grill bot is still cool! It's the iMac of griddles!
 
Oh pooh!
 
I gave GM his righteous kudo's (as he deserved)
 
Why you got to be like that?
 
But of course I'ma be a flattop snob.
 
Doesn't take away any 'thang GM does.
 
GM rocked it!
 
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