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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
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The Hot Pepper said:
Grill or flattop, both are maillard, maillard is some dude's name who explained why certain foods turn brown when you cook 'em, no matter how, not just the flattop! A pretzel has maillard, the crust on bread... all that sheez.

But I hear ya on preferring the flattop sear to the grill, that's your preference! And it does make a good burger.
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And if I recall, you like flamed burgers no?
 
There's no right or wrong here.
 
Its just what we like to be liking.
 
 
On another note....
 
Met a guy that won a large BGE that wanted to do some burgers on it.
 
Recommended 80/20 medium heat.
 
Toast the buns.
 
Enjoy.
 
Proceed to Date Night.
 
 
Obviously the BGE is not my style.
 
But I'd love it looooooooooooong time.
 
 
 
I can't wait for Jay to get his.
grantmichaels said:
 
I don't want to start any trouble, but ...
 
10590610_777723475624345_2879356947053410397_n.jpg
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WTF is that?
 
I like grilled or fried on the flattop, either works for me, if grilled right (or to your preference) there is no carbon/char. The way this is done is over medium heat coals with no flame so you get grill marks (a sear from the hot cast iron grate, CI grates are best for this) but not char on the other areas, it will be brown.

Deathtosnails does it this way. You know. That Aussie bastige.

I like a higher heat cook over flames so the fats run clear, blood turns brown, and yes it has a char. I likey but it is not a carbon tasting char, that is the brittle stuff that crumbles off, that is overccoked sir! I cook hot and fast not enough time for that just a nice brown sear all over.
 
I certainly wont turn a nose to some pan burgers they do have a very nice taste. 
 
Even better some cooked over charcoal but I don't ever cook on the charcoal grill, that's wifeys deal... couldn't tell you the last time she broke that lil thang out either. Been too long. 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
I like grilled or fried on the flattop, either works for me, if grilled right (or to your preference) there is no carbon/char. The way this is done is over medium heat coals with no flame so you get grill marks (a sear from the hot cast iron grate, CI grates are best for this) but not char on the other areas, it will be brown.

Deathtosnails does it this way. You know. That Aussie bastige.

I like a higher heat cook over flames so the fats run clear, blood turns brown, and yes it has a char. I likey but it is not a carbon tasting char, that is the brittle stuff that crumbles off, that is overccoked sir! I cook hot and fast not enough time for that just a nice brown sear all over.
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I jus' had some kine so forgibes me.
 
Sometimes you just gotta' post when You'4r3 rudk3d up'
 
THP burgerx
 
I'm on it.
 
 
 
Wait.
 
WWTF?
 
Is that a moth on my wall?
 
 
I'm fucking higher than KilleerManJaro.
 
I ain't lyin'.
 
:rofl:

texas blues said:
Wait.
 
WWTF?
 
Is that a moth on my wall?
 
 
I'm fucking higher than KilleerManJaro.
 
I ain't lyin'.
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Nope it's just your maillard wallpaper. Lick it. :lol:
 
D3monic said:
I have to say it was one the best burgers i've had in a while. Even better than any i've been making. Def going back again. Might even leave a good yelp review. Normally I reserve that for bad reviews. 
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Yelp is teh troll princess sunbutt armpit of the interwebs
 
Crap.
 
Today is National Hamburger Day.
 
And I did a chuck roast.
 
I swear sometimes I must be getting old and weak and need to be put down by the vet.
 
 
Somebody please post a burger for NHD so I am not a complete disgrace.
 
JoynersHotPeppers said:
Dammit and I am doing bacon wrapped venison...#fail
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Post a pic of the bacon and all is forgiven.
 
And for even suggesting that you do that I should be 
 
exonerated for MY burger FAIL.
 
That is if you actually post some bacon.
 
 
Dear Lord.
 
Please have JHP post some bacon.
 
Amen.
 
texas blues said:
 
Post a pic of the bacon and all is forgiven.
 
And for even suggesting that you do that I should be 
 
exonerated for MY burger FAIL.
 
That is if you actually post some bacon.
 
 
Dear Lord.
 
Please have JHP post some bacon.
 
Amen.
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I posted it over in my FLOG Father, please forgive me....
 
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