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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Deathtosnails said:
:shocked:
 
I'd need corrective surgery on my boiger hole after trying to shove that monster in it
 
But but but...you're an Aussie!
 
Are you sayin' you can't hang with your Aussie bros?
 
Say it ain't so and posty up some rebuttal my down under brother!
 
Gotta' be mo' 'betta than that Amish style nincumpoop known as JayT.
 
Where'dat mofo's burger at?
 
Deathtosnails said:
Ha ha ha you said butt!
 
I aint postin no butt up in here :D
 
I aint had no boiger for ages.  Might just be time...
 
Please kind sir.
 
Post one up.
 
And boiger hole it!
 
You got fans dontcha' know.
 
texas blues said:
Wow.
 
Just look at that monster! I wouldn't have been able to eat maybe even half of it but that wouldn't stop me from trying to shove the whole 'thang into my pie hole.
 
So you knifed and forked it?
 
Seems more and more that on THP that whatever you damn Aussie's cook up and post it's always straight up killer rock n' roll goodnessess.
 
If Aussie's don't cook it then you don't want it I reckon.
 
Super chingon burger!
 
 
cheers bro this baby had to be knife and forked, simply had no choice in the matter lol. Don't think I'll be eating for the next 2 days! Finished off the last third today after waking up at midday due to immense drunkeness last night lol 
 
I did one thing to the bacon to make it really really super awesome, anyone wanna guess what I did?
 
The Hot Pepper said:
 
We know how you make sweet sweet love to a burger. You pineapple hole it.
 
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pineapple_ring.jpg
 
Holy magic 8 balls Batman!
 
I makin meself a Hawiian Boiger tonight, replete with grilled pineapple holes, I mean rings...
 
Heya LDHS!  When are we gonna get your tatsy sauces down here?!   Well?  A good time frame would be NOW!!!
 
F.O. : Was it Sweet Baby Ray's?
 
Deathtosnails said:
 
Holy magic 8 balls Batman!
 
I makin meself a Hawiian Boiger tonight, replete with grilled pineapple holes, I mean rings...
 
Heya LDHS!  When are we gonna get your tatsy sauces down here?!   Well?  A good time frame would be NOW!!!
 
F.O. : Was it Sweet Baby Ray's?
 
Yup, IGA stock like 5 different kinds of it.
 
Damn, 24 hours after my near death experience my hunger is coming back.... there is a load of mince in the fridge and 5 burger buns ready to go, how will I write myself off tonight..... in any case, phase 1, getting smashed off the wall high wasted ... is complete :D Now for phase 2, fire up the damn stove :D
 
Encore performance tonight. My appetite came back around 9pm tonight lol, and by a fantastic coincidence, an episode of Mr Bean started just as the burger was plated...
 
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that's it I'm done eating for the rest of the year!!!!!!!!!!
 
On a related note, I have to say, my phone camera is not too shabby :D
 
The Hot Pepper said:
 
We know how you make sweet sweet love to a burger. You pineapple hole it.
 
pineapple_ring.jpg
You bet your sweet ass I do.
;)
Deathtosnails said:
 
Holy magic 8 balls Batman!
 
I makin meself a Hawiian Boiger tonight, replete with grilled pineapple holes, I mean rings...
 
Now you're speaking my language!

(The language of pineapple hole sweet lovin')

Heya LDHS!  When are we gonna get your tatsy sauces down here?!   Well?  A good time frame would be NOW!!!
 
There's a place in HOU that ships international-like. iBurn - they've got all 4! :cheers:
 
Hope you've got 000 on speed dial F.O. :D  I wonder what the ambos would do in case of Burger O.D.?  "Quick, get me 2 liters of beer and a packet of durries!  He's going into shock!" lol
 
Here's the Hawaiian type boiger I had fer dinner.  Photo skills were on autopilot as I was drunk and could nae be foogled cause I was hungry and we'd (NZ Allblacks) just won the Rugby vs Australia.
 
Ham, patties and pineapple rings.  Tasty cheese slices were added to the patties not long after this pic
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The sauce on the top bun is Franks Red Hot.  I wanted a simple tangy sauce.  Next time I'd go something sweet and spicy.
 
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A lot of the juices at the bottom are from the pineapple as I hacked my way through the burger with a blunt rusty spoon :D
 
That golden brown pineapple's got my mouth waterin' along with the melty scheeze.
 
The burger looks dang juicy and the texture is gorgeous. 
 
Boiger hole me!!!
 
Hawaiian is pineapple and SPAM not ham, but I'll let it slide :lol:
 
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