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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
And you as well compadre and family.
 
missylou, my dear sweet dog, turned 9 in May.
 
Smartest, cutest, lovable, loyal, and viscous bitch I've ever had the pleasure to know.
 
Invited guests are showered with doggy kisses.
 
And then herded to where she wants them to go.
 
Except for my dear sweet ma.
 
missylou nipped her in the ankle and drew blood.
 
Ma' didna' say nuthin' 'til 6 months later.
 
I felt bad about that.
 
Wait.
 
Sorry for rambling. 
 
Back to LouLou.
 
She herds me to the couch and gives me loves and nips on my ear lobes.
 
Kinky.
 
 
What?
 
Booma said:
With all TBs great wise words I'm thinking when I finally piece together my little burger book......

He is gonna have to throw a quote on each page, would be a fantastic read
 
You humble me sir.
 
But I ain't all that.
 
Your words and pics I reckon are more than enough.
 
I am but a flea on your dog of awesomenessess.
 
robbie said:
 
 
Someone once mentioned making a coffee table book consisting solely of burger pictures
from this very thread. I think I will include this one in mine!
 
 
That was me? Im sure others have thought about it. I wanted to do that and also  was ready to pull the trigger on  a calendar of a bunch of pics but Pooks wouldnt let me,or well maybe he just ignored me? lol.
 
sicman said:
That was me? Im sure others have thought about it. I wanted to do that and also  was ready to pull the trigger on  a calendar of a bunch of pics but Pooks wouldnt let me,or well maybe he just ignored me? lol.
 
Drink your milk.
 
You're up waaaay too late.
 
:rofl:
 
How you doin' oh beard'd one?
 
Gimme' a 4/4 behind the beat por favor.
 
Like this.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZALjvO8DZE
 
sicman said:
That was me? Im sure others have thought about it. I wanted to do that and also  was ready to pull the trigger on  a calendar of a bunch of pics but Pooks wouldnt let me,or well maybe he just ignored me? lol.
 
I still think Pookie should make a cook book with all the throwdown entries.. or atleast the winners. 
 
I gave up drinking milk after high school.
 
A billion Chinese can't be wrong I reckon.
 
Cheese and cooking with heavy cream...well that's another 'thang entirely.
 
On another note...
 
 
I can't believe that here in the US of A (or as my Mexican amigos would say..."you essay")
 
That no one has posted a 4th of July burger.
 
I can understand Texans not doing so as the 4th is all about bbq and brisket but as they say on ESPN...
 
"C'mon man!"
 
I myself believe that the burger was invented in Athens Texas years ahead of those white toast and tomato losers known as Louie's Lunch.
 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis'_Lunch
 
http://www.athenstx.org/live-and-work/history-of-the-hamburger
 
There are other claims to the origins but they don't have evidence to support it.
 
 
No matter.
 
I'ma do my patriotic duty and whoop up some smashed flat top burgers tonight.
 
Just like George does in CI.
 
And to be sure...
 
Watch how George does it and make it just like that with no condiments or foo foo and you will discover as I did...
 
The best burger you ever ate.
 
Tonight though I am using pre ground chuck so it won't be as good as that but still pert' dang good!
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RykDiZnCKrA
 
Si senor!
 
I'm fixin' to get my tequila and  :high: on and then fire up some hot cold rolled steel.
 
There are 3 foods I'll never give up.
 
Shrimp.
 
Salmon.
 
And cheeseburgers.
 
And the onliest way you will get my cheeseburger away from me....
 
...is when you pry it from my cold dead hands. 
 
But you'll be too late as when you pull the trigger I'll have already stuffed the last of it in my 'mouf.
 
Suckah'.
 
And when you do pull that trigger, I'll still be talkin' 'bout your momma'!
 
Your momma'!
 
Booma said:
With all TBs great wise words I'm thinking when I finally piece together my little burger book......

He is gonna have to throw a quote on each page, would be a fantastic read
 
Not a quote, TB haiku.  Double spaced of course.
I must have missed the pics of these patriotic sliders, because it has been manana for days now!
 
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