Forgive me for I have sinned

Hey ya'll, the other day at the local hippy joint, (Whole Foods) I saw this stuff. I looked it over and put it back and continued with my shopping. I must have been out of my head or something but the stuff pulled me back like a tractor beam. So last night I get up the courage to try it. I got the cast iron going and sauteed, garlic, onion, pasilla, red bell, and pequins. Got that all happy then broke the weirdness out of the plastic casing, tossed it in the skillet and broke it up. The stuff is already cooked dontcha' know so really all you need to do is heat it up. As I am not working construction anymore, I don't need to carry as much weight around so have replaced meat and carbs with fruits and veggies and quit drinking. (temporary) Rather than a tortilla, I spooned the stuff into a bowl and felt like giving myself a treat so topped it with a little goat cheese. Here's some porn...

Behold! The weirdness...

Veggie's ain't a bad 'thang...

Looking pretty good ya'll!

The verdict:

Well the first bite I was thinking.."hey! not bad!" but as I chewed the stuff up and began to swallow, my enjoyment of this abomination of a concoction began to wane quickly. The spices in the soyrizo were okay and not bad but the texture of the stuff and overall flavor were wanting to say the least. Even the garlic, onion and chiles couldn't save this stuff. The texture was like half cooked cold cream corn without the flavor. The aftertaste of the stuff after finishing the bowl was something akin to the whole red chinese army walking through my mouth barefoot. What a waste of good veggies and goat cheese! In summation, if you see this stuff in the store...RUN!! RUN LIKE HELL!!! I don't know what trust fund dreadlocked, Lord board wearin', spliff smokin', rainbow shirt wearin', burning man festival goer came up with this tripe (sorry tripe, you're soooo much better) but I hope the government doesn't allow them to reproduce or at the very least uses their children for scientific experiments. This is a classic example of why vegans and vegetarians eventually ALL EAT CHICKEN!

Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.

 

[Wasatch]

Goat Cheese.

 

[paulky_2000]

Goat Cheese.

That would be a good guess.

 

[texas blues]

The cheese is a mexican style cheese called Enchilado. Good stuff. As for the taste of the stuff.......debating whether or not to eat the leftovers. There is just something evil about chili flavored veggies. I may be a candidate for the loony bin should I continue this veggie madness. I can only imagine how this will break AJ's heart when he sees this renewed abomination of a thread.

 

[paulky_2000]

The cheese is a mexican style cheese called Enchilado. Good stuff. As for the taste of the stuff.......debating whether or not to eat the leftovers. There is just something evil about chili flavored veggies. I may be a candidate for the loony bin should I continue this veggie madness. I can only imagine how this will break AJ's heart when he sees this renewed abomination of a thread.

I can see veggie chili.....provided it was cooked long enough to allow the flavors to meld. I mean....that's where most of the flavor in chili comes from anyway! (the veggies!)

 

[texas blues]

The taste was okay but the texture was all wrong. Chili flavored zukes....could be a crime against nature. I'm tossing the leftovers. I would do well to ignore the tequila voices in my head next time.

 

[paulky_2000]

The taste was okay but the texture was all wrong. Chili flavored zukes....could be a crime against nature. I'm tossing the leftovers. I would do well to ignore the tequila voices in my head next time.

or you could make some rice and toss some strips of steak on top.....

I thought it looked pretty good!

 

[Wasatch]

I also thought it looked pretty good, some nice stuff in there.

 

[JayT]

 

[The Hot Pepper]

QUARANTINE FOOD. UGH.
 
This stuff is DISGUSTING! It looks like a link but it's just a plastic tube holding back this forsaken sludge. Like the pink slime beef bi-product shit, but not actually meat! (well, neither is that).... It's goop in a tube! I tried to fry it up and make chorizo and eggs on a roll so I added 4 eggs to one "link" and you can't even see them, the goop disintegrates them! This shit is nasty! NASTY!
 
Now my potatoes on the other hand. BANGIN! Scalloped taters with a pamagiano reggiano bechamel, cheddar, and a little blue cheese. 
 

 

[Ashen]

So in ten years THP will be making pineapple ranch Swiss fish stick wraps.

 

[Shorerider]

So in ten years THP will be making pineapple ranch Swiss fish stick wraps.

      

 

[The Hot Pepper]

YES, but what will TB onto in 10 years?????

 

[Shorerider]

These perhaps?

 

[texas blues]

YES, but what will TB onto in 10 years?????

 
 
I'll be eating plate lunches.
 
Pineapple.
 
And fresh shrimp and fish.
 
In Hawaii.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Nope. The TB evolves with the Chinese new year!
Cowboy coffee, Pilot Boy crackers, and salmon from the natural fridge under the cabin
All you can eat prime rib and hookers from the dry ditch
There was that year you put capers on EVERYTHING!
Queso and fish taco year
The "Blackstone" year with smashburgers
The veggie year with soyrizo and a burger only once a month
The smoked salmon in the Little Chief year
Pineapple and ranch year
Weird-shit-o-meter fish stick year
Well that's nine let's see year 10 man! What do you have in store for us? NO WAY we know what year 20 has in store. 

 

[Walchit]

All you can eat hookers, my fave!

 

[texas blues]

I'm older now.
 
The 'thangs I used to do.
 
I don't do them no more.
 
But some of them.
 
I still do.
 
Cheeseburgers.
 
Fish tacos.
 
And tomfoolishnessess.
 
I cannot deny.
 
What I am.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

In ten years I will eat hookers like you dad.

 

[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]

In ten years I will eat hookers like you dad.

https://youtu.be/KUXb7do9C-w