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how do i get ph meters to work

i bought these 2 ph testers separately from different places and i cannot figure out how to make them work.  they always stay the same whether i stick it under water, i stick in milk, or i stick it in ph down, they dont budge.  i dont see any place for batteries and i even unscrewed the bigger one and found no battery spot.  
 
what am i doing wrong?
 
http://s428.photobucket.com/user/Kurt_Easton/media/20151210_180219_zpspz0pctud.jpg.html
 
 
and less importantly, what is this weird bug in my seedling tray, it looks kind of like a ladybug but its brown, is it bad?
 
http://s428.photobucket.com/user/Kurt_Easton/media/20151210_175002_zpsl1s4kvys.jpg.html
http://s428.photobucket.com/user/Kurt_Easton/media/20151210_174911_zpsdg7qsvbf.jpg.html
 
Hi NorthPole!  I'm more familiar with pH meters like this and have no experience with the ones you posted.  The one I have uses calibration solutions.
 
And no idea on the bug either - sorry I couldn't be of more help.  :)
 
there should be some place for batteries... id start unscrewing everything until i found it.
 
regardless. these ph meters are not worth shit. they measure conductivity/galvanic response but not ph.
 
yeah those kind of ph meters are shit. i was trying to use one for a while but its crap.
 
get the one like smokenfire posted. 
 
Those meters do not use batteries.  They use the mediums inherent electrical charges or something like that.  Really, they are garbage as you can easily tell.
 
Your operating them perfectly.  They just don't work!
 
I have the meter SmokenFire linked.  It works great, as long as you calibrate them every once in a while.
 
Scuba_Steve said:
Those meters do not use batteries.  They use the mediums inherent electrical charges or something like that.  Really, they are garbage as you can easily tell.
 
Your operating them perfectly.  They just don't work!
 
I have the meter SmokenFire linked.  It works great, as long as you calibrate them every once in a while.
well... if there is no battery then it must be a galvanic reaction.
 
there must be two different metals on each of those barbs.
 
when you jam them into soil, the soil acts as an electrolyte allowing current to flow across the two electrodes.
 
galvanism = corrosion though... so while you are measuring something you are corroding one of the electrodes. same principle as batteries.
 
this is not a measure of soil PH though. just a rudimentary measure of soil conductivity.  as the electrodes corrode the signal will change appreciably, so its not terribly repeatable.
 
queequeg152 said:
well... if there is no battery then it must be a galvanic reaction.
 
there must be two different metals on each of those barbs.
 
when you jam them into soil, the soil acts as an electrolyte allowing current to flow across the two electrodes.
 
galvanism = corrosion though... so while you are measuring something you are corroding one of the electrodes. same principle as batteries.
 
this is not a measure of soil PH though. just a rudimentary measure of soil conductivity.  as the electrodes corrode the signal will change appreciably, so its not terribly repeatable.
Ya what he said...
 
I bet the galvanic meters won't read soil that's bone dry.
 
Did you save the receipts?  If so, take that crap back!
 
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