"Performance Evaluations"
These useful quotes are from actual federal employee
performance evaluations:
* Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.
* I would not allow this employee to breed.
* This employee is really not so much of a has-been but
more of a definite won't-be.
* When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to
change feet.
* He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
* Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold
it all together.
* A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus.
* He has been working with glue too much.
* If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he
is the other one.
* A photographic memory but with the lens covered glued on.
* Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
* Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is
not coming.
* Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking
for it.
* If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered
twice a week.
* If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
* It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other
sperm.
* Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
* The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
------------------------------------------------------------
These useful quotes are from actual federal employee
performance evaluations:
* Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.
* I would not allow this employee to breed.
* This employee is really not so much of a has-been but
more of a definite won't-be.
* When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to
change feet.
* He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
* Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold
it all together.
* A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus.
* He has been working with glue too much.
* If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he
is the other one.
* A photographic memory but with the lens covered glued on.
* Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
* Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is
not coming.
* Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking
for it.
* If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered
twice a week.
* If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
* It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other
sperm.
* Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
* The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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