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Tales from the Loo: Chile's Attack!!

Naga Jolokia Addict said:
We Indians do not use toilet paper. We use water jet. hehehe
What roll?
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That's not what my father told me, he said that you guys use your left hand!
 
texas blues said:
I just had an epiphany! When visiting me in Vegas in a week or so, Jay may get too drunk here at the Blues Casa and may have to stay in the guest bedroom. I better get down to Home Despot and get some duct so I can route the Blues Shitter fart fan into the guest bedroom!
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No good. I'll make sure I make it back to my hotel room!
 
Oh man! I was just getting ready to fire up the UDS and the brisket...oh noes! Last night I grilled up shrimp and fresh pina' with some of Pepperfreaks Jamaican Hot Powder. Pretty damned hot but sooooo tasty on the shrimps. This morning..no worries. An hour or so ago I took some of the leftover grilled shrimp and pineapple and slapped 'em on a tortilla with some cheese and got my greeze down. About 20 minutes ago, the gates of hell opened! Good 'Gawd ya'll! Pepperfreak really put the freak in that stuff. I think somebody snuck in an IED into my blow hole. I was getting a little scared as when the first wave of chile powder farts began it sounded like 100 phone books being ripped in half! Then came the burning and the pain and the sweating and more pain and sweating and burning. I think I dropped 5 pounds just in water weight. Everything seems to have subsided and settled down for now but it may prove to be very risky 'bidness doing anything strenuous. I don't want to be into something and then have something rip loose.

Screw it! The brisket is calling and I'm making a run for it! AIYEEEEEEEEEE!!!
 
tb I love the way you gescribe something gross and make it entertaing for me to read. Not my favorite topic but you make it hilarious!
 
Much obliged deary. I made a quick run to Home Despot for some more mesquite for the smoker...only 10 minutes away from The Blues Casa. I made it back.....just in time!
 
Oh noes! Last nights boinks (bacon wrapped bison/cheese meatballs) coated with bhut powder bbq just kicked in. I didn't think they were all that hot last night when I ate them. Right now it feels like BP is going for the "bottom kill" and drilling a relief well into my colon. I don't know what triggered it...the bhut powder or the 47 pounds of bacon I ate which just left a 4 mile long grease slick in The Blues Dunney. The worst is the fart noise's. Sounds just like pigs squeelin'! Crazy...gotta' go...no really!!!!
 
Ladies & gents, learn from my mistake. When constipated, lay off the hot stuff. After 2 glasses of wine and a cigarette, your entire weekend of Defcon 1 wings & tacos liberally doused in Cajohn's Fatalii Fire WILL come back to haunt you. Trust.
 
ImpyChick said:
Ladies & gents, learn from my mistake. When constipated, lay off the hot stuff. After 2 glasses of wine and a cigarette, your entire weekend of Defcon 1 wings & tacos liberally doused in Cajohn's Fatalii Fire WILL come back to haunt you. Trust.
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Impy... you are above such 'thangs. After all....you are Cleopatra! Your legions worship your at your feet...your loo postings can only inspire the masses!
 
I have nothing to add to this thread, just bumping it because there are many new people who haven't had the pleasure of this great read. If you're finding this for the first time, go back to the first post and start at the top. Enjoy!
SL
 
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