The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[texas blues]

While the salmon was goin' on, I had already whipped out the poppers..note the use of the comal! It really is more versatile than you think!

Strictly cast iron baby...

Wasabi mayo on the salmon and blue cheese dressing for the poppers. The pungent garlicky black bean really sets off the flavor. This stuff rocks!

There 'tis ya'll. Rest assured I will have more wickedness to taunt THPer's this evening..

Get your Blues Kitchen and drunken chef on ya'll and don't forget the spiceenesxt!!

Salute',TB.

 

[frydad4]

Multiple Cast-Iron Usage...WIN!

I just licked my computer screen for the first time with a food picture, trying to taste the wasabi mayo.
It was a little dusty.

Looks amazing as always. The duckfart is a bit intimidating, but thats what drunken chef is all about.

 

[frydad4]

So I says to myself, I says...What are my favorite things to eat when I've had a few too many...The answer is simple.
Donuts.
Jalapeno Poppers
AJ's Texas Red Chili

What if I could morph these into one delicious drunken dish.
I stretched out some donut dough and threw a popper in it.

Then I fried 'em up real good and crispy.
Then, I resurrected the remnants of my AJ's Texas Red from a few days ago. Great for smothering. Poured it all up on my jalapeno popper donut (eclaire?). A dollop of daisy and some cheddar and a lime wedge, just cause it's tasty.
Also, I poured a glass of Blue Agave-Mead (No honey, probably not technically a mead, just fermented Agave Nectar...So good and alcoholey).

And the close up of the money shot. Gooey and Good.
I don't recommend the combination of hot oil and excessive amounts of alcohol, but in this case it was awesome!

 

[imaguitargod]

Ok, now that's one tasty dish!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Doing a curry/jerk/beer shell steak and some curry yuca fries and poppers.

 

[texas blues]

Frydad....dude! Donut Popper!! On a one to ten on awesomenessess, that is a 17!! The Florida Posse is movin' in, kickin' ass and takin' names! When you added AJ's chili it was as if the popper said to the donut...."you complete me". And just to be fair sir...you had me at donut.

Salute', TB.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

The bad boy marinating.

 

[texas blues]

Doing a curry/jerk/beer shell steak and some curry yuca fries and poppers.

What's a shell steak? What's going into the poppers? What's in the sack? Where is the beer piccy? Where all da' white womens at?

Salute', TB.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Curry Yuca Fries... Whaaaaaaa?????

 

[frydad4]

If that's a mix of curry and jerk, I'm intrigued! I feel like I can smell the awesomeness just looking at the pic of the marinade.
Did you pre-boil the yucca? What is the sauce on top? Looks great! and hot!
________

Thanks, TB. It was so good and greasy. I recommend popper donuts to everyone! I'm going to contact Dunkin and tell them to add it to their line!

FD

 

[texas blues]

If that's a mix of curry and jerk, I'm intrigued! I feel like I can smell the awesomeness just looking at the pic of the marinade.
Did you pre-boil the yucca? What is the sauce on top? Looks great! and hot!
________

Thanks, TB. It was so good and greasy. I recommend popper donuts to everyone! I'm going to contact Dunkin and tell them to add it to their line!

FD

HAH! For the burger throwdown, I almost did my version of The Luther Burger which is a bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme donut for the bun. I like the popper better!

Salute', TB.

 

[SumOfMyBits]

What the???

So after seein' FD4's post, I stumbled out to the patio beer in hand. I was six Silver Bullets in, the storm clouds were rollin' in and the white flies that have infested my pepper garden were swarming around me like Miami snow when it hit me. I thought to myslef: 'You know what I don't have? Candles!' [Damn too much Harry Potter!] So to fill this void of perceived loss I broke out the big pot and started boiling up some macaroni. True comfort food was in order.
Whilst making the macaroni I said to myself, 'Self, you know what I like cooking? Bacon.' The body started moving and three strips of bacon were in the skillet. After another Silver Bullet hit me, I looked at the skillet full of bacon drippings and instinct told me not to waste the goodness. So in went the red onion and the baby bella shrooms.

Wha??? I have cubanelles in the fridge?

Pre-baked goodness.

Here, after another Silver Bullet hit me, I was stumbling around thinking 'What the hell am I going to do when FBI storms in and mistakes me for TB? It smells too damn awesome in here!' But I must have been drunk. No agents stormed the confines and the poppers did their thing.

Baked in the bacon drippings skillet, they did, until full awesomeness had arrived.

After getting away with bacon topped onion and mushroom mac'n'cheese stuffed cubanelle peppers did I realize... 'The Manistry of Migic must be on vacationzzzzz.'

 

[texas blues]

SUMBITS!!! YOU STOLE MY MAC AND CHEESE POPPERS!! I was going to do poppers for the next mac and cheese throwdown. I had it all sewed up and wrapped up tight! Now you come along with your supreme popper awesomenessess and rock da' house. The Florida Posse is takin' no prisoners, takin' turf and threatening global domination. You guys cook better drunk than those pencil neck cookie pushing no load dip dunks with hobnob foofoo cooking shows. Jump back and kiss yo' 'sef one time. I genuflect one time to your awesomenessess!

Good 'Gawd help us all if'n ya'll post pics of a proper hot blue and righteous Cuban sammich!

Salute', TB.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

I give you...

Hey Yuca Jerk Havva Beer, O'Curry?

It's Curry Night over here in the Rock Kitchen. Look at the way that marinade sticks!

1. Curry/Jerk/Beer marinated steak on grill.
2. Almost done.
3. Plated with curry yuca fries with ground chilies in oil.

It rocks!!!!! Love a curry shell steak.

(@ frydad4. No, not par boiled. Slow cooked for tenderness. I don't have a stove to boil right now.)

 

[The Hot Pepper]

What's a shell steak?

If you haven't had one you need to get one. Awesome cut for flavor and tenderness. Also known as a strip steak.

This was a bone-in shell. Rock!

 

[SumOfMyBits]

THP... the magic!!! I can taste that from here. No way of ever knocking this plate! Delicious. Here's my fried yucca tip if you like: cut fresh yucca into 3" long quarters and boil for an hour. Throw them in the fridge for the night and then deep fry them the next day. With some mojo sauce as a dip rich with garlic... best yucca I've ever had.
Cheers!

 

[frydad4]

Nice Sum, looks awesome! You have altered the course of next months throwdown with a preemptive strike. Well played, sir.

THP, that marinade looks so good! I'll bet that was an amazing drunken dinner! Hope it made the whole house howl. Glad to see Yucca Fries again on this site. Sum did them for the jerk throwdown. Many folks don't know about or appreciate that tropical staple.

Yep...a good weekend for the drunken chef!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Thanks. Both your dishes rock! You guys are both down with the yuca, hell yeah. Yuca frita is mad good too. Heck I like it with ketchup

 

[SumOfMyBits]

...Heck I like it with ketchup

Ketchup... we don't serve that in our kitchen!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Ketchup... we don't serve that in our kitchen!

Hehe yeah I rarely touch the stuff, unless I make it myself or use a chilihead ketchup.