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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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HAH! The two heretics and coconspirators THP and JayT , made much ado about the lack of a current booze money shot. I obliged them nicely I reckon. 21 hours since that piccy post and no response. Accusations were made. Fingers were pointed. Investigations were launched. In the end, as the evidence suggests, TB having addressed the issue of the BPIC (BoozePicInQuestion) is now exonerated and as acting counsel for myself, I demand that JayT and THP recognize the facts and retract their slanderous allegations against TB and restore his reputation to that of good stead.

Texas Blues Esquire.
 
damn...

TB WIN!!!

:so this is where everyone hangs out:
 
texas blues said:
Actually...I LIED! The Blues Kitchen will be involved in highly classified culinary and scientific experiments. These experiments are top secret and if allowed out in the open could pose a national security threat. In T-minus oh...half hour or so or when I crack the first hosky, The Blues Kitchen will go strictly covert and black ops. TBK will then go by codename:DADDYMAC until the conclusion of aforementioned experiments. Confidence is high. Any attempt to hack into Operation DADDYMAC will be dealt with swiftly and punishment will be executed with extreme prejudice.

Salute', Tango Bravo.
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texas blues said:
HAH! The two heretics and coconspirators THP and JayT , made much ado about the lack of a current booze money shot. I obliged them nicely I reckon. 21 hours since that piccy post and no response. Accusations were made. Fingers were pointed. Investigations were launched. In the end, as the evidence suggests, TB having addressed the issue of the BPIC (BoozePicInQuestion) is now exonerated and as acting counsel for myself, I demand that JayT and THP recognize the facts and retract their slanderous allegations against TB and restore his reputation to that of good stead.

Texas Blues Esquire.
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I've just been waiting for two days for the pics of the "highly classified culinary experiment". Or was the shot the experiment? I thought we were going to get food porn as well. :rolleyes:
 
JayT said:
I've just been waiting for two days for the pics of the "highly classified culinary experiment". Or was the shot the experiment? I thought we were going to get food porn as well. :rolleyes:
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Dude...DaddyMac...I would think you would have come to the obvious inference that I was doing a mac and cheese dry run. I did take pics..hehe...but showing them would only jeopardize national security and possibly deal the final blow to the US economy. I will say there were several cheese's involved in the gooey goodness....and pasta too.

Salute', TB.
 
hope the pasta was, in fact, macaroni, as the rules clearly state.

Me and SumBits are planning some kinda crazy drunk chef stuff for tommorrow, weather permitting. Might be a joint-post (not that kind of joint). It needs to be outdoors, we need to be drunk, and it usually rains around drunk time this time of year, so no promises.

I'm not going to shoot my "mac and chac" wad until competition day, but I'll save that for another thread...
 
:using Allen Iverson voice:
Practice? We talkin' about Practice? TB? Practice? I can't afford to do a practice run on mine so it's going to be all or nothing next weekend. Or is it the week after? Technically next Friday is July 31. What is the official date THP?
 
frydad4 said:
hope the pasta was, in fact, macaroni, as the rules clearly state.

Me and SumBits are planning some kinda crazy drunk chef stuff for tommorrow, weather permitting. Might be a joint-post (not that kind of joint). It needs to be outdoors, we need to be drunk, and it usually rains around drunk time this time of year, so no promises.

I'm not going to shoot my "mac and chac" wad until competition day, but I'll save that for another thread...
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FD4, in the mac and cheese throwdown thread in groups was the discussion of types of pasta and THP defines the pasta to be used as hollow and tubular. Ziti, penne, shells, etc of that ilk are A-okay.

JayT said:
:using Allen Iverson voice:
Practice? We talkin' about Practice? TB? Practice? I can't afford to do a practice run on mine so it's going to be all or nothing next weekend. Or is it the week after? Technically next Friday is July 31. What is the official date THP?
Click to expand...

I had a cheese combo I haven't used before and wanted to try it out so...hence the "practice". Just because the forum can't exactly taste the food, it should in real life taste as good or better than the posted piccy's. For anyone to settle for less is FAIL!

Salute', TB.
 
True TB. The pasta can be anything hollow and tubular, but I'm sticking with macaroni. FD4-Fail.
The throwdown is the first Friday of the month which puts our little comp at August 7th. Still plenty-o-time to practice.
 
No worries Sum. You and FD4 are all about WIN!

Here's a bit of porn from last night's goin's on in The Blues Kitchen. mrs. blues had a roasted chicken that she used the white meat for chix salad. i got all the dark meat and added lime juice and my Notorious Hab sauce. Gotta' have tortilla's for that....

Here's the goin's on....

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And the party goer's....

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This is some melty goodness...

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Wrapped up tight, outta' site, and in the groove..

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Get your Drunken Chef on ya'll!

Salute', TB.
 
Did up a bit of a chicken roulade last night to usher in a weekend of excess. Sorry for the first blurry pic....


Rendered a bit of bacon down to crispiness and then sauteed some portabellas, onions and garlic to make a stuffing. Pounded out some chicken breasts nice and flat and laid the stuffing out, then topped with bleu cheese crumbles...

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Rolled these puppies up tight and gave them the BDSM treatment with some butcher's twine, then waterboarded them in a egg, and rolled them in panko bread crumbs. Got everything nice and browned all around before popping them in the oven to finish off...

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Made a pan sauce/gravy with a bit of flour in the drippings and some white wine.

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Served it all up with some mashed taters and poblano cheese grits....

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Money shot to follow....
 
Five the chix roulade look delicioso amigo! Nice showcase of skills pounding out the teets along with making the gravy in the pan. Dig it!

Salute', TB.
 
holy crap those last two dishes look great. Fivestar coming STRONG there. TB, as always, looked great. Bet both of those meals were great with a monster buzz going!!!! Cheese Grits AND taters, WOAH!! Amazing. The gravy looked awesome too, chicken perfectly cooked. Well done all around for both of you.

I give you an A and a sticker to take home.

Its been raining ALL FRIGGIN' DAY!!!!! WTF?! Me and Sumbits have a great drunken chef idea that was supposed to commence today, however the weather did not permit. All I am allowed to say is that it involves charcoal and cast iron. Add rain to the mix and we might have a problem. Stay tuned for that one another weekend.
We did start drinkin, though. Maybe we can have a Drunken Chef offering later. We'll see. Cheap beer is flowin nicely so far.

FD
 
http://www.thehotpepper.com/showthread.php?t=12557

Let it be known, to clear my good name, that the "OFFICIAL" rules state that the pasta MUST be macaroni, but you can use any cheese. I understand that we, amongst ourselves, have redefined MACARONI, but that is inappropriate. You can't redefine grocery items which are clearly labeled. But...in the spirit of the throwdown, as a crown wearer, I have already purchased my groceries (as many others have as well) and will abide by the new definition as it has been understood within the throwdown social group.

Basically, I was called a FAIL, but that was wrong. Eat my crap, Sum.

:)
 
TB that is a WIN burrito. There, you're back to WIN status.
 
frydad4 said:
http://www.thehotpepper.com/showthread.php?t=12557

Let it be known, to clear my good name, that the "OFFICIAL" rules state that the pasta MUST be macaroni, but you can use any cheese. I understand that we, amongst ourselves, have redefined MACARONI, but that is inappropriate. You can't redefine grocery items which are clearly labeled. But...in the spirit of the throwdown, as a crown wearer, I have already purchased my groceries (as many others have as well) and will abide by the new definition as it has been understood within the throwdown social group.

Basically, I was called a FAIL, but that was wrong. Eat my crap, Sum.

:)
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After that in the social groups section THP mentioned that tube shaped pasta i.e. macaroni, ziti, penne, etc. would be good to go.

hehehe...Team Florida in disarray...my chances of WIN are increasing!

Salute', TB.
 
barring a natural disaster, we will be ready to kick some arse come august 7th.

it rained today, but we still got drunk.

FD.
 
Drunk Chef Rainy-Day alternative

Me and Sum had to make poppers instead of our original idea. Oh well.
Sum stopped by with some cold ones, we did a quick brainstorm, and this is what we came up with.
We are both equally responsible for this debauchery, I'm just the one posting it.
Jalapenos, shrooms, cheddar jack, green onion, macadamia nut, cream cheese, pepperoni, bacon. You might notice the bush light, for scale.

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All the poppers were different, some wrapped in bacon, some stuffed with pepperoni, some smothered in cream cheese and macadamia nut, some with mushrooms and pepperoni, just about any combination of the ingredients, we tried it.

We didn't bake the beer, but we were stupid enough to do something like that.

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And boom goes the dynamite. A little ranch for the dipping. Good times. Even got Mrs. Frydad to eat some, and that is no easy task with the hot stuff.

Here they are plated with some non-banana leaves and a spatchcocked busch light can.

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They were awesome.

FD
 
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