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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Keystone light is not beer........


Uh oh. You may anger the SoFlo Posse with talk like that.

Conundrum...

SoFlo Posse had to call an impromptu board meeting about this.

We are doing "poppers" tonight with some left-overs.... what shall we drink??? <--- Answer, Busch Light!!!

Alcohol, in any capacity, equals... awesome.

We can all agree on that.

So, if we throw some logic into this:

Keystone Light is considered a beer because it is derived from a fermented malted barley.

Fermented barley makes alcohol

Therefore, Keystone Light is awesome.



We tested this theory with some Busch Light, and this is what we found:

Proof of Busch Light life
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"Poppers" in the raw with left-over pork/beef BBQ w/ridiculously sharp cheddar cheese... and wrapped in bacon.
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Oh daayum!!
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Plated sans banana leaf. We failed because of so much Busch Light awesomenessess.
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Busch Light is awesome [and so is SL's sauce], these pics are testament.
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So said,

SoFlo
 
wow!!! Great post Sum.

Im glad that was archived with pictures because I forgot about everything that happened.
But I was reminded of the peppers this morning.

Only wheebz has the authority to declare what is and is not beer. Though he probably doesn't drink the cheap stuff, I'll bet he endorses pretty much anything that goes on here.

Drunken chef is not a place for snobbery. It is a place to get slobbery.
 
this meal could of been posted in 3 threads but figured its best suited here.
I made some wings & poppers tonight. started with my last bottle of defcon sauce....its #3 so I had to spice it up some :hell:

defcon sauce w/ fatalii powder

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mixed the sauce up, then added some more chile powder... jam. hot choc. (left) & bhut jolokia (right)

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cheese filled & bacon wrapped fresno's & hab's, added more cheese on top after this pic

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cooked poppers, I added some cilantro during cooking.

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final meal & I still have some guinness 250 left :party: :beer:

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chilehunter and SumBits - you've got some very impressive entries right there, but I think the best shot was of the open mouth behind the beer cans.... :lol:

In spite of my utter inability to cook, I've put together the following in a ziploc bag tonight:
Ro-tel
Brown sugar
Hab powder
Garlic powder
Chile powder
Tarragon
Oregano
Cumin
Cilantro

Oh yeah, and a small slab-'o meat. At some point in the next 48 hours I'll start cooking that slab, and if I can get a good pic when it's done, you'll see it.....
 
Dayum... CH throwin' some mean popper action in the face! Werd.

Sharp cheddar in poppers works well.

Miller High Life is the "champagne of beers"... it's only broken out on specially occasions, and this was special because we were debating and drinking "what is beer."

Geeme, what you have marinating sounds great, but there is one thing missing... beer. Bring on the pics!

Sum
 
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