The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[Justaguy]

"TB's DC Cookbook" sounds like a good idea

 

[salsalady]

Ya know I'm begining to think theres a cook book ready to be published somewhere in this drunkin thread!Great looking chow there SL, would you pass the tortillas por favor?

"TB's DC Cookbook" sounds like a good idea

A cookbook usually has actual measurements and recipes....unless it was just a collection of food porn pictures.

 

[Justaguy]

Of course you come up with a better idea.

"The DC's Food Porn for Foodies"

 

[salsalady]

"The DC's Food Porn for Foodies"

...with plastic coated pages to protect from drool....

 

[RocketMan]

SL, I'd buy that for a dollar.

 

[salsalady]

RM, as long as you have internet, you get it for FREE here~~~







Spouse gets up at 2:00am, notices the light on in the den and says, "Honey, what are you doing up at this time of the night?"
Honey replies "Looking at porn..."
Spouse says, "Baby, turn off THP and come to bed~~~"








True Story.

 

[Justaguy]

 

[geeme]

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[RocketMan]

OUT STANDING!!!!!!!!!!

 

[wheebz]

 

[wheebz]

thumbs up on this one, i like this better than the one that has the beer i brew in it lol

 

[SumOfMyBits]

The DC chatter of late reminds me of an "oldie, but goodie"...

South Park... "Creme Fraiche!"

Classic...


Nice work Wheebs. Send SoFlo a styrofoam box of that mess. We'll eat it.

 

[Scovie]

Nice food pic's everyone. SL your Chile Colorado was D-lish, The smokey burnt flavor added to it. I'm being serious!!!! Thanks for crediting my Mole.
This is such a porn site! I get that feeling everytime I'm here that makes me H----Y!









(hungry) get your head out of the gutter....

 

[Scovie]

P.S. I'm super close to getting a new computer. Then I will finally be able to participate (and happily lose) in the TDs. and be able to post pics here. Photobucket, here I come!

 

[salsalady]

sheesh, DeVille, you know it was your Mole that turned us to the dark side of spicy way-back-when.




Yeah, I know we were all having an 'off' day for cooking this last weekend, but it still rocked to have good eats with friends.... even with the burnt chile colorado.



BTW, do you realize I've signed you up for chicken mole at the NW Chilefest in a couple weeks!?!?!!!


(sorry, can't relate to the SP reference, never seen an episode~ )

 

[RocketMan]

A cookbook usually has actual measurements and recipes....unless it was just a collection of food porn pictures.

Mi Lady, that's just a matter of us sobering up enough, Gads Heaven forbid, to look back at what we did to put some numbers with the listed ingredients. Most of the procedures are there.

thumbs up on this one, i like this better than the one that has the beer i brew in it lol

Wheebz, the Haba-peno seems to be the hands down favorite of all my friends and family members that I give sauce away to and since I added the SDTs to it even more so. I have some Fatali seeds now so I'm hoping to be able tonkick the heat up another notch for those that like a hotter sauce to have both a medium and a hot version.

 

[JayT]

I have had and enjoyed the Habapeno a few times now. Did some wings with it again this past weekend. Today I tried the other two for the first time. I like them both. The Southern Tier one a little more, I think, but I have to use them on food to be sure. They are strong tasting of the beers which I guess you were going for. I'll cook with them and then post something.

 

[frydad4]

Wheebz, the Haba-peno seems to be the hands down favorite of all my friends and family members that I give sauce away to and since I added the SDTs to it even more so.

I gosta get me a bottle of that!
I like the beer sauces too! Haven't had time to play with them with the throwdown and all. I prefer the 90 minute one, so far, but I've only done preliminary tastings!

I'm getting ready to bottle my aji sauce. Maybe I'll send you a bottle and some Fatali Jelly I made in exchange for a habapeno!

 

[RocketMan]

I thought I gave you one. Ooppsie. But that sounds like a great tasting deal to me

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

So I normally dont make it a habit to drink on a monday night but on top of having a shitty day, my gf was cleaning the fridge and wanted me to do something with the almost empty jug of moose juice. Moose Juice is pineapple rings coated with sugar in a pitcher to which you add vodka(tito's) and let sit for atleast two weeks. Its Delicious and I was actually able to get quite a bit of booze out of the jug.

I diced up some of the pineapple, couple Habaneros, few jalapenos, threw em in the pan with garlic and sliced up kilbasa and let that simmer. Mind you that glass looks small but it is my 8oz bourbon tasting glass, only used it cuz I underestimated how much liquid was in the jug.

That shit goes down easier than juice and I had filled that glass twice and added some of the booze to the pan and still had enough to fill the glass once more for my meal. I was feeling great.

I even took the kilbasa out of the liquid in the pan and added flour to thicken it and put the meat back in and it made quite the sauce. Not sure how I thought of that I was just kinda floating around the kitchen in a vodka induced haze.

It was a good meal and I had a great buzz, all that sugar made for a 4 advil headache though, it was completely worth it!