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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
It's about quarter after mid night,but I was bored and thought I would post about dinner tomorrow.I have ribs sprinkled with a pepper centric bias,but including granulated onion, mex oregano,cumin and garlic.I can add details better tommorrow,tonight my drunken ass put together
PI 315024
and the pinto beans are waiting for a couple of ham hocks and other goodness for completion
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Tomorrow The smoker gets fired up and I might be sober.The aftewr pictures will be better

Crap!The PI 3 something should have said
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Ok, so here's one for y'all-

I had a glass of wine on Christmas eve, the sis-in-law covered the 1/2 glass and put it in the refer so when we went over for Christmas day dinner, there was the glass of wine. No Prob, refilled...good to go for the evening..,..

went home, went to bed....

today, back over to their house and what's waiting for me on the kitchen counter...covered with plastic wrap....a DOUBLE GEEMED glass of wine!

Are your numbers off SL? According to your math, you only had one half of a glass of wine.... sounds fishy to me.....


Me too FD4, except I've only ever had the PI 315023. Maybe it was just a marketing thing? I love drunk-people-talk! How you feelin this morning Hawkeye? LOL
 
Are your numbers off SL? According to your math, you only had one half of a glass of wine.... sounds fishy to me.....


Me too FD4, except I've only ever had the PI 315023. Maybe it was just a marketing thing? I love drunk-people-talk! How you feelin this morning Hawkeye? LOL

it's that "new" math, Scovie, Start with a whole, do a bunch of calculations/consumptions, end up with 1/2, ignore everything in between.

Looking forward to Hawkeye's ribs.....
 
Alcohol combined with mathematics inevitably ends up with me counting with not only my fingers but using my toes as well. Hawkeye consider yourself beered. :lol:
 
Owww!My head hurts and I'm really thirsty.When I woke up and saw the camera in the kitchen with the data card missing,I started to remember and thought this can't be a good thing.When I tried some of the BBQ rub on my eggs it tasted really good.Should'a wrote that down as I was makin it last night.I wonder what I edited out of my last post?Something to think about as I chug a bunch of water
 
The ribs just went in the smoker a little while ago.I'll wait a few hours and throw some bacon wrapped poppers in with them.The beans should be ready when the ribs are


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Thanks for the beer,TB!
 
Ok then if it's in new math then it must be supposedly to be in base 8 (Octal) or in base 16 ( Hexadecimal) which means that you drank 75 glasses and saved a splash of wine (Octal) or you drank 2C7 glasses of wine and saved a drip (Hexadecimal).


(null)
 
When I woke up and saw the camera in the kitchen with the data card missing,I started to remember and thought this can't be a good thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHA :rofl: HAHHAHAHAAA :rofl: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA :rofl: I've never done that a few times. Ever,... a lot. :drunk: HAHAHAHAHAHA :rofl:



Soooo....... does RocketMan need 8 beers or 16?
 
Mmmmmmm.Pork
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It's windy and rainy here today.Kind of a bitch to keep a steady temp on the cooker.
But check out the smoke ring on those ribs!
 
When I woke up and saw the camera in the kitchen with the patch cord missing,I started to remember and thought this can't be a good thing. I remember the ribs being a little stringy....
FIFY! :lol: Just Kidding!

SCORE on them ribs, Hawkeye! And served with poppers, bread, beans, and....(what? no beer in the plating pics???)



OK- I vote he gets a pass this time, as there was good alky in the first pics.....
:cool:
 
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