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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Ok. whiskey's flowin, and CJ's drinking Rum and Dr. Pepper 10, just like all you SoFlo boys. Prime Rib is comin, after the whiskey bath starts to take effect.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! WHOOT! BAM!
 
38 hahaha, i wonder what the poor people in Pennsylvania are doing

tonight will be a warm 67 degrees

and we are going out to Siesta Key, beach party, sluts and beers, should be a good time

ohh shit

page 420

how fitting I have this awesome brownie in the fridge thats gonna make this an even better night
 
It's down to 24º right now (4:50). So sir wheebz, enjoy the night. I'll stay warm w. my whiskey and BBQ.


where da hell dat bear at?
 
Ok part one, prepare the marinade. One bottle of Dragons Blood and 1/2 cup of good Bourbon
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Add 2 bottles Bells Porter
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Mix well reserving 2 cups marinade and pour the rest over the pork loin.
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8 pounds pork loin ready for the fridge
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See y'all for part 2 in the morning.
 
page 420, don't know what's been posted, I just gotta get on this page just on principle.
I'll go back and read in a minute.


POST!

edit-
OK, whew, got the post in....

Rocketman is burning up that useless telephone/motorhome/cheap cologne again!

Bloody S'mores......You, Sir, have just launched the next great adult dessert!
 
This is going to get soooo ugly tonight. I know it. I think I need a nap to prepare.

WAKE THE F * * K UP!

Is it bear season down in Bambi-land? C'Mon man! where da party supplies at?

Ok part one, prepare the marinade. One bottle of Dragons Blood and 1/2 cup of good Bourbon
842fb28a.jpg


Add 2 bottles Bells Porter
d82689a4.jpg


Mix well reserving 2 cups marinade and pour the rest over the pork loin.
30aba156.jpg


8 pounds pork loin ready for the fridge
352efb93.jpg


See y'all for part 3 in the morning.

Where da part 2 at?
 
Oh mansies! I just made a smoked beef and slaw sammy that's 'bout ta put me in a food coma. Good thing we have the random firework that sounds like an Iraqi car bomb going off in the driveway.

Bear is so excited about tonight, he peed on my leg a little. I'm pissed, because these are the only pants I have to wear tomorrow.

Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened.

True Story.
 
Gotta post this real quick.
Bear is on the loose.
Sunofabitch dug a hole under the back fence and is on the run.
The whole town is on a "Fur Alert".
I'll post our drunkennness real quick, then I gotta go start calling him.
He usually comes back if I yell, "Bear, Whiskeydicks!!! Whiskeydicks!!!!"

We made homemade sourdough bread.
Homemade mustard based sauce.
Homemade Slaw.
Homemade smoked beef.

Came out awesome!
SD, the first pic is for your little lady. My little lady takes it the way pictured (among others).
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That's a Sum-bite.
If it were a Bear-bite, there wouldn't be anything left.
 
I wanna hit page 420 too!!!! Now watch, I'll land on 421 - so me!

FD!!!!! That pic warmed the cockles of my heart!!!! Your li'l lady ROCKS!!!!!!

So many yums on this thread tonite...I'm so hungry (and thirsty tooooooo!)
 
[sub]YOU MADE ON pg420.[/sub]

[sub]why does my font sometimes get a shriveled up or sumpin?[/sub]
 
WooHoo!!! This IS gonna be a Great year!!!! So ready...!

teehee...I made Scovie put champagne in his prime rib rub/paste/...whatever it's called.

Aren't most fonts shriveled until we boost 'em?

Ooops, Scovie's baaaack..... Cha Y'all!
 
Well, I'm glad that's over.
I found him.
We had to set up a perimeter, and we put out some traps.
"Whiskeydick, Whiskeydick" worked the best.
Every time I hollered it, he would let out a little yelp.
The furry beast was hiding in some palm bushes with my lampshade on his head.
I knew he had too much, but we haven't even toasted in the new year yet.
Good thing we got him before the ball dropped (so to speak).
Now he can try to grope Mrs. Frydad's breasts while the rest of us drink champagne.
Bear. That guy!.
Happy New Year, EVERYONE!!!!!
-SoFlo and Bear.
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