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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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McHottie and JayT: glad that you guys liked the hot sauce. its good to know that it was put to good use! the pulled pork and the wings look fantastic.
 
JayT said:
I'm your hot wing man. Stop me when I'm passing by. I'm your hot wing man...

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The Pain is Good ones are pretty hot. More than expected. Buddy, I am totally digging your sauce. I didn't want to use the whole rest of the bottle on these wings so that is why there are less of yours. Fantastic heat and flavor.
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Your wings look fantastic. I bet they were really great with buddy's sauce.
 
Jay,

Where and how do you buy your wings? Do you buy'em whole and cut them yourself.....or do you buy'em pre-segmented....or do you buy'em cut and frozen?

I've found that the ones you buy in the frozen bags never want to crisp up. It may have something to do with the water content.

Whatever you're doing.....is the right way! :clap:
 
paulky_2000 said:
Jay,

Where and how do you buy your wings? Do you buy'em whole and cut them yourself.....or do you buy'em pre-segmented....or do you buy'em cut and frozen?

I've found that the ones you buy in the frozen bags never want to crisp up. It may have something to do with the water content.

Whatever you're doing.....is the right way! :clap:
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I prefer fresh already cut up wings, but if they are not cut up I cut them. If they are frozen, I thaw them. If they are frozen and whole, I thaw them and cut them up. I only cook frozen whole wings when I am extremely desperate. :lol:
 
JayT said:
I prefer fresh already cut up wings, but if they are not cut up I cut them. If they are frozen, I thaw them. If they are frozen and whole, I thaw them and cut them up. I only cook frozen whole wings when I am extremely desperate. :lol:
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So, in other words........


....you're not too damn picky. :rofl:
 
Feels like a good day.....


Thought I'd have a nice lunch......using the remaing rice that didn't make it into my throwdown sushi....and the amazing Crock pot beef I made a few days ago:

Sushi rice.....still pearlescent and sweet/tart from the loving care given to it:

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Then, buried in a beefy, oniony, mushroomy, spicy goodness: ***(oh yes....floating habs. TWO OF'em!!! Makes all the difference with the sushi rice.)

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Toast....with real butter and garlic. Notice the green crap I found in the pantry to sprinkle on top:

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This was the "scope on my .30-06"......

HBD sauce to tie it all together!

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Yum!!!!






Tastes like.....victory. :cool:
 
Thanks y'all!!! Here's DINNER:

With great respect and inspiration.....(thanks McHottie!)....I give you:

Nothing but chicken strips.....




.....and that's more than it takes to be AWESOME :cool: :

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Thanks again to everyone who voted in the throwdown!
 
Thanks y'all!!! You guys make me smile with every comment!

Tonight will be a frozen lasangne of the Stouffers party size varietey......


.....tweaked to my liking of couse. ;) But that's not DC worthy.....so I'll wait to see what you all bring next! :dance:
 
I believe the mess I'm making in the kitchen qualifies as cooking. It'll be a few more hours, and if I decide it does, you'll see some porkage pics....... :cool:
 
Started the mayhem early this morning, so no booze in the pics YET. ;)

For your viewing pleasure, Pork shoulder, smoked sea salt, lime juice, onion, garlic, and fatalii - add some water, bring it to a boil, cover it and reduce the heat nice and low, then go away for a while. Like and hour and a half, at least. Turn off the heat, then walk away for several hours more while it cools in the broth.
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Roasted about 1 pound of tomatoe in the broiler, and garlic on the stove.
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Puree the tomatoe, garlic, chipotle chiles in adobo, smoked sea salt, mexican oregano and naga powder. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a saucepan, toss in the puree (carefully), and let it simmer "a while"......
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Mmmm hmmmm - this smells GUUD! More later....
 
Final prep: Start by sauteeing more onion and garlic in olive oil.

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Slap the pork into the skillet, and get a bit brown:
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Plate-up: Pork mixture and sauce into corn tortillas, sides of rice with lime and cilantro, and black beans with cumin, garlic, and cayenne. In the cup is the last of the melon slush plus tequila. A nice little combo....
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Now here is the "what I would do differently next time" caveat. The grocery store where I shop stopped carrying "other" brands of tortillas, and now only carries their own brand. First batch of steamed tortillas got dumped in the trash, as they just fell apart. The second batch at least held together better - like just long enough for me to take these pics. But more than that, the flavor was not at all like my beloved corn tortillas. Next time, I'm definitely shopping for tortillas elsewhere. I mixed the rest of the sauce with the rest of the pork mix, and tomorrow night's dinner will be pork in sauce on top of rice.
 
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