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WIFE STORE

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is adescription of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of theproducts increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose anyitem from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor thesign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.' That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and HelpWith Housework.'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand
it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help withHousework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the signreads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store

PLEASE NOTE:To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives storejust across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.





BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!:)
 
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
__________________
 
It's Hell to be old they have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well doc, it's like this;

* First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
* Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
* 'Then I asked my wife for help.
* She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
* She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
* 'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
 
Did you know that beer contains female hormones?

If a man drinks too much of it he starts talking bullshit and loses the ability to drive a car.:)
 
Armadillo said:
Did you know that beer contains female hormones?

If a man drinks too much of it he starts talking bullshit and loses the ability to drive a car.;)

HOPS actually do trigger female hormones in men and will mellow aggression slightly after the alcohol wears off.
 
cheezydemon said:
........Did anyone else get the banner ad with a bunch of mailorder brides????? Now THAT'S Funny!:lol:

Mine says "meet married women for fun now" and has pics of porn star's faces on there with fake screen names
 
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