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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
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The Hot Pepper said:
Brioche is my weapon. TB no likey. Even though it's very similar to the squishy cheap white. But mucccccch better.
Click to expand...
 
Okay I'll reveal a secret.
 
I've made brioche.
 
Loads of butter like you wouldn't believe.
 
And eggs.
 
Flour is almost an after thought.
 
But the problem I have with brioche buns is that every one that I've had on a burger at cheffy burger joints was horrible.
 
Crumbly and dried out.
 
How do you dry out brioche?
 
The same for ciabatta.
 
Way to bready and often dry.
 
Fact is I have sworn off cheffy burger joints period.
 
Chef's always want to reinvent the wheel and jack ever thang up on steroids.
 
To my way of thinking it never works.
 
Last cheffy burger joint I liked was Kenny's Burger Joint in Frisco.
 
http://kennysburgerjoint.com/
 
Joint is packed every night both lunch and dinner.
 
Big burgers and ciabatta buns but over the top too much.
 
The grilled beef was okay for that style but rather bland and the ciabatta was usually dry and just too much bread with not alot of flavor.
 
Individually the sum of the parts didn't add up.
 
To tell the truth, and flame me if you want, the truth is In-N-Out does the burger I want to eat and is far superior.
 
They have good grilled bacon wrapped poppers and deep fried pickles.
 
That is if you haven't made your own and no how they're supposed to be done.
 
Pooh on all that cheffy crap.
 
I'm done.
 
Rant over.
 
I need a hoskey.
 
Come to NY, I'll show you good, soft, low crumb brioche. You can flatten it with one finger. That's the burger bun test.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Come to NY, I'll show you good, soft, low crumb brioche. You can flatten it with one finger. That's the burger bun test.
Click to expand...
 
Okay now you gone and done it.
 
You need to post a pic of your favorite brioche bun'd NYC burger.
 
No more dancin' around it.
 
THP burger fans demand it.
 
Can I get an amen y'all???
 
texas blues said:
 
Okay now you gone and done it.
 
You need to post a pic of your favorite brioche bun'd NYC burger.
 
No more dancin' around it.
 
THP burger fans demand it.
 
Can I get an amen y'all???
Click to expand...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn6w255CGkk
 
Sydney Poitier.
 
One of my favorites.
 
Well played THP.
 
Looking forward to an official THP burger on brioche!
 
Brioche bun recipe would also be highly appreciated if you have one available.
 
I've been meaning to have a shot at making some brioche buns, hopefully soon, got a new method to test out on the burger meat itself, be happening shortly. In the same boat as TB, can only be healthy for so long, 5-6 days of the week is enough, time for a burger
 
Here's some Martin's Potato Roll's in action.
I'd love to eat sliders at that joint.
 
Too bad its so far away from Texas.
 
I think its time Jay and the fam damily jump in his JayT Truckster and do a road trip to that joint!
 
How awesome would that be?
 
Chingon!
 
TB just don't know that's all. But he knows about whole wheat English muffins! :lol:
 
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