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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...


Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.


Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!


So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!

The Hot Pepper

Ashen said:
Colby /jack sounds yum though.
I use it all the time because it is so versatile. Colby (like a mild cheddar) with Monterey Jack. You can use it for anything. Grilled cheese, Mexican dishes, American dishes, etc. The last batches of enchiladas I made all had it. 
Many of us got whacked by this junk two months ago.  Grilling is survival, success, and it's just cool.  It will carry you through.  Have faith.
My apologies for my very late reply. I've just responed to the obligatory "welcome" post that I had to do, and rather than rehash here, I'll just say my lateness involves two dead guys that nobody gave a funk about, and funerals durining the current trend. But that aside...
luvmesump3pp3rz said:
nope, no rules on the burgers. it`s a free-for-all. do whatever you think will taste good. that`s why you see so many different styles of burgers here. i don`t normally add things to the beef but i`m sure adding to the meat would taste great such as onion or mushroom or diced peppers of your choice. i usually just add stuff as toppings. when you get around to making some post them up.  :cheers: and  :welcome: to the forum!
Haha... Of course. No rules, experiment. That is my normal response to most things, but while reading this thread my mind honestly got into a groove about initial binding with the meat. My grandmother used to infuse onion, and I had never thought about that until I started reading this thread. Appreciate your pointers.
Jubnat said:
Personally, I don't like to add anything to the meat, I'll only add seasoning to the outside.  The reasoning is that any mixing can overwork the ground beef which will change the texture of the cooked burger.  I want it to be as tender and crumbly as can be, not chewy and dense.  The opposite of sausages...just a different product and procedure.
If you've done any baking, think of it like making a pie crust rather than a pizza dough.
So this is why I don't generally add anything to the meat, sometimes I'll season it with spice mix, but usually just salt and pepper.  Good quality ground beef is just a simple beautiful thing.  I'll usually just dress the bun with mayo, mustard, and hot sauce.  and to be honest, I may be the odd man out, but I don't usually like cheese on my burger.
Even though I say all this...I've made and eaten burgers every which way, mixing all kind of things in the meat and whatever.  This is just how I like do to them now.
Also, I'm not a big fan of pre-seasoned patties...they're big in the meat markets/butcher shops around here.  They always have a good flavor, but the salt and mixing kill the texture.  Salt starts to break down the proteins in the beef, allowing them to bind together much better, thus making a dense, smooth, sausage-like texture.
Jesus Christ, you people are hardcore. What I mean to say is more hardcore than I initially thought you were, while I was enjoying reading page after page of hardcore shit and not being a member. Jubnat: You delivered an eye opening... what... thesis (?). I don't know. I guess pure information I hadn't even thought about. Very much appreciated.
Balls to it. If I have the time I will try and make my own burgers this coming weekend. I don't have that many posts so I don't know if I could even have the ability to post pictures. But if I do, my guess is you guys will probably rag on my buns, haha. Very difficult to get decent buns here in the UK at this time. Maybe it's always been that way. I don't know. 
The_NorthEast_ChileMan said:
I know I don't read those 10 page release documents before clicking OK either but here at the forum its a bit less..............
I am sure when I sighed up I was directed to the "welcome" thread. I don't know what you mean. If I've done something out of order or wrong, my apologies. That's on me.
JoynersHotPeppers said:
Had some friends over for crabs, burgers and dogs.....in this case just a burger and dog picture in one
I'm... I mean... the way it... that huge ass lone tomato... as an artist, that is aesthetically perfect... rule of thirds (doesn't always apply, but damn is it on the money right there)... and the... oh, God... the drip of condiment.... the money shot with regards to this particular photo... but just a little imperfect to sell it as the real deal... so much better... salivate...mastur....
Okay, I'm logging off right now.