food Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Oh no!  Don't fall into his trap!  Don't do it.... too late.  Next thing you know, you will be swearing off beef, and bacon, and wearing Birkenstocks and driving a Subaru.  So sad...
 
Hey y'all.
 
Had a super wombat jones on for a cheeseburger. 
 
I was gonna' get a chuck steak to grind up but somehow life got in the way.
 
Instead I got some 85/15 store bought and got the idee' to conduct scientific 'speriments on some sliders.
 
Now normally I would drop a ball of meat in cast iron FIRST and then place thin sliced onions on top before smashing but I decided to do it ass backwards to see the difference. 
 
After seasoning with kosher salt and smashing.
 

 
One 'thang I noted was that by doing onions first and then smashing, you have to use a shit-ton(official SoFlo measurement) more leverage or else you just won't get the thinness desired and come out with a much thicker patty.
 
Not only that but you'll note the lack of any significant crust.
 

 
Part 2 of the 'speriment was to use 100% whole wheat english muffins. I've used regular sourdough english muffins before with pretty good results but not whole wheats. They could possibly turn into cardboard.
 
Toasted the muffins up with a little drizzle of olive earl on the comal while I had some pepper jack scheeze melting on the sliders. Healthy splooges of RocketMan's Fatalli Mustard on each burger finished 'em off.
 

 
Note the thickness and lack of maillard effect. 
 
But the whole wheat muffins worked and the scheeze and RM's splooge worked dern' guud!
 

 
The meat was slightly more pink than in the pic and pretty darn juicy. The muffin was nothing like I expected and was still nice n' squishy. RM's mustard sauce had a perfect balance of mustard, sweet flavor and heat. A damn goodern' hell sauce and a pretty damn goodern' hell slider.
 

 
As i sez, goodern' hell however...
 
2 'thangs were lacking.
 
Maillard crust on the meat, and significant lack of oniony goodness which for the onions I thought rather odd. 
 
Was it the reverse smash technique or just wimpy tasting onions? I used a shit-ton(official SoFlo measurement) of 'em after all.
 
In summation, I reckon that most folks would Chairman Mao the hell out of these sliders.
 
Perhaps even a Bunny Commander would enjoy them because they were that guud!
 
Still, pressing meat into onions atop the meat is the superior technique.
 
Posty up burger lovah's!
 
English muffins wouldn't be my first choice (or second, or third, or forth), but they do look darn tasty. I'd eat about 6 of em right now for breakfast!
 
I think diced onions would embed into the meat when smashed instead of acting as a barrier between the meat and the CI, allowing for a better seared crust. Just my $0.02
 
muskymojo said:
English muffins wouldn't be my first choice (or second, or third, or forth), but they do look darn tasty. I'd eat about 6 of em right now for breakfast!
 
I think diced onions would embed into the meat when smashed instead of acting as a barrier between the meat and the CI, allowing for a better seared crust. Just my $0.02
 
I tried diced onions before but when placing them atop the meat before smashing they all fall off to the side.
 
Smashing the meat into diced onions as seen above also achieved the same result as above.
 
To get the desired crust its got to be meat on metal with nothing in between.
 
I really think the lack of onion flavor this go round was just due to weak onions but also when pressing the onions with the meat atop considerable pressure needs to be applied that the onions become embedded into the meat itself and almost impossible to achieve as shown above.
 
Pressing onions into raw meat from above and then flipping allows the onions to cook and steam into the meat much better.
 
I agree that using english muffin's, whole wheat or otherwise, is not the ideal burger platform. Just a differnt' riff. Not bad but not great.
 
While I do love Pepperidge Farm Slider buns, as well as Martin's Potato Rolls, to me the best bun for this style of burger has been plain old generic white squishy burger buns. Just like Wonder Bread only in bun form. 
 
Thus far in my burger 'speriments over the years, without question (and I can't say it enough and wave my freak flag for it) the best burger I've ever made and eaten has been this...
 
Smashed home ground chuck into onions on medium heat cast iron with only salt for seasoning and then onto a plain toasted white squishy bun.
 
No condiments.
 
No toppings.
 
It literally leaves one scratchin' their noggin' as to how that could possibly be true.
 
But I challenge anyone to do it and make up their own mind.
 
It might not be ever body's favorite but it'll freak a person out just how dern; goodern' hell it really is.
 
Let the new burger revolution begin.
 
JayT said:
Bunny Commander says:
 
less onion, moar heat, beef first, potato roll
 
that is all.
 
You sure Bunny Commander ain't code for BoCleetus?
 
I reckon I coulda' cut back on the onions a bit and definitely beefage first next time.
 
Dude.
 
We gotsta' see one of them resty raunt special sliders.
 
TB, at some places they put the bun top on top after it's flipped, so it get's an onion streaming. Then you just scoop it all onto the bottom. So you have drippings on bottom, onion steam on top. Have you done that?
 
The Hot Pepper said:
TB, at some places they put the bun top on top after it's flipped, so it get's an onion streaming. Then you just scoop it all onto the bottom. So you have drippings on bottom, onion steam on top. Have you done that?
 
I have done that.
 
I don't reckon though that I have ever posted that style.
 
I believe White Castle does that and certainly White Manna does.
 
mrs. blues wanted what beef I had leftover from last night for taco meat but she's changed her mind.
 
I reckon I'll do a repeat of last night but a more correct smash and do the bun 'thang with the muffin's I have left.
 
And yes they do pick up the flavor of the oniony steam and meat.
 
Do it TB! Before you burger allowance is over! Burger sundae?  :lol:
 
Sauteed onions and jals slathered over the cheesy burger and some good swill to wash it down.
 
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Smashed Technique Part Duh!
 
As mentioned earlier, I got meat left to cook up.
 
This time I do it up right proper with meat on metal first.
 
About a 2 ounce ball with the thin sliced onion smashed in after about 30 seconds.
 

 
I should have applied a bit more pressure to get a more thorough maillard crust but this ain't bad.
 
Compare the crust on these to the earlier posted. This is mo' betta'.
 

 
Had some Tillamook lyin' around so why the hell not.
 

 
The last of the muffin's.
 
And me so stupid.
 
The whole point of putting the top bun on now was so they get steamed with flavor from the meat and onion.
 
The cheese only acts as a barrier for that.
 
Plah!
 

 
Can't see it in the pics but I splooged Rocket Man's Fatalli Mustard sauce on the bottom buns.
 
Trust.
 

 
Call it science or magic or just plain juju or meat voodoo but the maillard crust and the onions smashed fully and imbedded into the meat gave these a much more pronounced beefy and onion flavor. 
 
A shit-ton(official SoFlo measurement) better than the last batch!
 
And plenty of meat liquor all up in they 'thang.
 

 
I reckon my meat and burger cravings have been sufficiently sassificated.
 
For now.
 
The whole wheat muffin's were believe it or not, pretty dern good.
 
But I won't be using them any more.
 
Squishy buns is what these smashed sliders need to get down brown and bring the boogie.
 
uh how how how
 
uh how how!
 
Half melted chunks of cheddar cheese on a burger is awesome.
 
like chunks of the powdered cheese left in the cooked mac and cheese from a box. Just somethin about it.
 
HigherThisHeat said:
Half melted chunks of cheddar cheese on a burger is awesome.
 
like chunks of the powdered cheese left in the cooked mac and cheese from a box. Just somethin about it.
 
I ate it like a salad tossin' convict in cell block D at midnight.
 
Tillamook Sharp Cheddar.
 
The best!
 
Much obliged totes my goats but I think the next go round will be just plain ole cheapass white squishy buns.
 
I mean for realz.
 
Who am I foolin' anyhow?
 
Cooking up a fried burger in cast iron I'm already sinnin'.
 
Might as well sin BIG.
 
I eat enough healthy stuff as it is and I only indulge with a burger or sliders on occasion.
 
Break time over.
 
Back to the Blues Juke Joint.
 
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