Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

 

[Chorizo857_62J]

I'm almost hungry enough to want one of those, in a Styrofoam box, and with extra plastic straws, in a plastic bag.  But then considering where I am, all of that has been deemed illegal, as is going outside, breathing, eating meat, worshiping God, etc.

 

[Ashen]

Smash burgers for supper. We don't have any American cheese slices so I put some
Chateau De Bourgogne triple cream brie between the patties .

 

[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]

Smash burgers for supper. We don't have any American cheese slices so I put some
Chateau De Bourgogne triple cream brie between the patties .

YUM     are those pickles or peppers on top ?

 

[texas blues]

YUM     are those pickles or peppers on top ?

 
Who cares.
 
Just give it to me!

 

[Ashen]

YUM     are those pickles or peppers on top ?

Pickles. There is hot peppers in the homemade relish that was under the patties but not showing up in the photo. You can kind of see a piece peeking out on the left hand side.

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

 

 

[texas blues]

Dammit Kevin!
 
We're on lock down here!
 
For the love of baby Jesus.
 
Please.
 
Tell us about that burger.

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

80/20 CI`d
 
cheapazz merican
 
lettuce tomato onion green relish and ketchup held to a minimum. 
 
jalapeno hot sauce because..................
 
You know!  it all needs heat.
 
 

 

[Deathtosnails]

This burger was from a couple of weeks back but posty up anyhoo.

Potato roll cut side toasted
Smashed beef patty with Kalbi sauce
Swiss cheese
Kimchi
More Kalbi sauce mixed with Kewpie mayo.

 

[texas blues]

This burger was from a couple of weeks back but posty up anyhoo.

Potato roll cut side toasted
Smashed beef patty with Kalbi sauce
Swiss cheese
Kimchi
More Kalbi sauce mixed with Kewpie mayo.

 
 
I hate your guts.
 
Because I'm not eating that!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

OOOH MOMMY (see what i did there?)

 

[Chorizo857_62J]

Just Yummy.

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

80/20 beef, salt and fresh cracked black pepper on both sides slapped it on the cast iron till crusty. flipped it and splashed it with Worcestershire sauce. when the second side was crispy crusty i flipped it again and splashed again. i don`t do Worcestershire often but when i do i do it right! slap on the merican, slap that on a brioche bun. diced white onion and pickled red ripe jalas for the toppings.  side of white rice with more splashes of Worcestershire and serrano powder. it`s friday so LIGHTEN UP!!!       
 

 

 

 

[woodlouse]

I have been coming to these forums to aquire the information I was looking for with regards to growing chili plants for the first time. I hate being the noob on a forum that just starts asking loads of basic bitch questions that can easily be searched, but the downside may be that you guys may think it rude of me not to at least sign up and say hello.
 
So just did that and then seemed to have to do a very awkward (for me) introductory post.  Something I have never done or had to do before. It was horrible. I won't lie. I see the reasoning of it though.
 
With that in mind, and chili questions aside, I needed to sign up just to say this thread (and the hot dog and pizza ones) are funking destroying me. The pic's posted have me hyper-salivating like a monkey who just realized he can suck his own junk. So many fresh ideas and combinations. Unreal.
 
Not even a big burger guy, but holy... I just had to sign up and give love. You swines might destroy my waist band, but I don't give a crap after mooching through some of these threads.
 
Some of the best threads I have every browsed on a forum... even with the old pic's having that more recent Photobucket slap all over them. My respect.
 
Just two questions: Never made my own burgers before. Do you use anything to bind the meat to begin with? And secondly, I haven't so far seen anything involving any spicy mix done while prepping the meat. I mean to say you all seem to do (what I've so far enjoyed reading) whatever additional flavor wanted as secondary to the meat, like a separate mix to add like an elaborate home made dressing, rather than messing with the meat before grilling. Is that to preserve the flavor of the meat itself? Like, don't mess with it as a rule to get the most flavor?
 
Regards
 
Regards

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

nope, no rules on the burgers. it`s a free-for-all. do whatever you think will taste good. that`s why you see so many different styles of burgers here. i don`t normally add things to the beef but i`m sure adding to the meat would taste great such as onion or mushroom or diced peppers of your choice. i usually just add stuff as toppings. when you get around to making some post them up.  and  to the forum!

 

[Jubnat]

 
 
Just two questions: Never made my own burgers before. Do you use anything to bind the meat to begin with? And secondly, I haven't so far seen anything involving any spicy mix done while prepping the meat. I mean to say you all seem to do (what I've so far enjoyed reading) whatever additional flavor wanted as secondary to the meat, like a separate mix to add like an elaborate home made dressing, rather than messing with the meat before grilling. Is that to preserve the flavor of the meat itself? Like, don't mess with it as a rule to get the most flavor?
 
 

Personally, I don't like to add anything to the meat, I'll only add seasoning to the outside.  The reasoning is that any mixing can overwork the ground beef which will change the texture of the cooked burger.  I want it to be as tender and crumbly as can be, not chewy and dense.  The opposite of sausages...just a different product and procedure.
 
If you've done any baking, think of it like making a pie crust rather than a pizza dough.
 
So this is why I don't generally add anything to the meat, sometimes I'll season it with spice mix, but usually just salt and pepper.  Good quality ground beef is just a simple beautiful thing.  I'll usually just dress the bun with mayo, mustard, and hot sauce.  and to be honest, I may be the odd man out, but I don't usually like cheese on my burger.
 
Even though I say all this...I've made and eaten burgers every which way, mixing all kind of things in the meat and whatever.  This is just how I like do to them now.
 
Also, I'm not a big fan of pre-seasoned patties...they're big in the meat markets/butcher shops around here.  They always have a good flavor, but the salt and mixing kill the texture.  Salt starts to break down the proteins in the beef, allowing them to bind together much better, thus making a dense, smooth, sausage-like texture.

 

[The_NorthEast_ChileMan]

Just two questions: Never made my own burgers before. Do you use anything to bind the meat to begin with? And secondly, I haven't so far seen anything involving any spicy mix done while prepping the meat. I mean to say you all seem to do (what I've so far enjoyed reading) whatever additional flavor wanted as secondary to the meat, like a separate mix to add like an elaborate home made dressing, rather than messing with the meat before grilling. Is that to preserve the flavor of the meat itself? Like, don't mess with it as a rule to get the most flavor?

 

No binder for me! And I'm confident the supermarket I occasionally buy premade patties from doesn't either. As far as adding to the meat, I don't - especially spicy - as there others in my family that aren't hot pepper aficionados.

 

[The_NorthEast_ChileMan]

 I hate being the noob on a forum that just starts asking loads of basic bitch questions that can easily be searched, but the downside may be that you guys may think it rude of me not to at least sign up and say hello.
 
So just did that and then seemed to have to do a very awkward (for me) introductory post.  Something I have never done or had to do before. It was horrible. I won't lie. I see the reasoning of it though.

 
I know I don't read those 10 page release documents before clicking OK either but here at the forum its a bit less..............
 

 

[texas blues]

I just rubbed one out to your cheddar burger.




Twice.

 
Signature worthy.