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House Rules

W

wordwiz

OK, I'm a redneck, hilljack, hillbilly, whatever. But I have rules. With an 18-year-old HS senior and a 27-year old son living at home, both with lots of friends who visit frequently, I try not to be some "old fogey" from the '50s, but there are some things I feel strongly about.

Show up to my house and want to come in - pull your pants up to your waist. Have a ring in your lips, take it out. Spend Saturday night here - go to Mass on Sunday.

Much to my surprise, none of them object - at all. They even seem to somehow like the rules, at least in time. I did evict one guy once because he didn't keep his pants pulled up, now he does.

YMMV but I would like to hear how you feel!

Mike
 
I don't agree. I think the character of the person is more important than the way they look. It is your home so you have every right to set the rules though. I would be more upset if they didn't help with dishes after dinner or something of that nature. The religion thing I find a bit peculiar because it is a personal thing. If church makes you happy and in turn a better person then go but I think an individual needs to choose that. Going out of a sense of obligation almost seems more disrespectful.
 
I'm kinda liberal blue collar- I'm pierced and tattoo'd. I decided that what one does with one's body is a personal choice and freedom of expression- my boys were allowed to choose their hair styles at middle school- but they have to keep it clean and combed. However, if you are coming into my house you should finish getting dressed- I'm with ya on the pull your pants up! No smoking in my house. NO illegal substances in my house. Anyone thats in my house on a chore day gets to help with the chores. We dont have much overnight guests, but I know that growing up whomever we spent the night with saturday we went to their church sunday morning, regardless if it was the same as ours- whether it was me spending the night at a friends as a teenager, or the whole family over visiting relatives, so that makes sense. my sons are 20 and 14. If My son is still in my house at 27 he better be working on a doctorate degree-as soon as he is a year out of school he had better have a job and be on his way out into his own place. If he hasnt come to that conclusion by his own self, there will be a deadline set- though by that time. it will likely be that I've put the house on the market and am ready to fly away on my own!
 
I agree with ya Celeste. I have a few tats as well...the way the "kids" look doesn't bother me much (in the way of piercings and tats) but NO saggin pants, no drugs, if ya smoke-go outside and DO NOT disrespect me or my wife!!!
 
Teenagers love boundaries, no matter how much they say they don't. as long as the line in the sand stays straight, and doesn't get all distorted ie being consistent. I was a "boot camp" instructor for troubled youth, with good guidance we had good results.

So... that's awesome wordwiz, you might be teaching them more than you think :)
 
Good for you, you are teaching youth that wish to enter the home you worked hard for deserves your respect and if they wish enter your abode then there are rules that need to be followed - your rules!

I am kind of on the fence about the lip ring thing, this has become a graduated cultural style, much like men with ear rings. Remember when finding a man with an ear ring was a very rare find (I am not saying you couldn't find one - it was just hard).
Then, women started multiple piercing in their ears, men would only have an ear ring in one ear(I forget which one but it had a meaning), then you started seeing women with diamond nose piercing, then men with earings in both ears (not just pirates).
Try and find a female model today without a belly button piercing, tongue piercing is being more common with the mid twenty somethings and I won't touch the other body parts.

So, there is a chronology.

I'll let someone else tell us about tattooing..... remember a time when if you really looked hard to might have seen a women with a heart on her ankle?

Now, if a twenty something comes into my home with a lip ring - they can expect a whole lot of teasing. I have a twenty six year old neice that has her tongue pierced, she has a Psychology degree and I guess she feels.... well I don't really care what she feels, if she is in my house and can not properly pronounce words because of a stupid nugget in her mouth well she deserves to be teased ...... hmmmm, wonder why she doesn't visit that often?

Before getting married, my wife and I lived together, when we would visit her parents we slept in different rooms out of respect for her parents beliefs. Funny, after we married we would still sleep in separate rooms as my wife would sleep with her mommy and now when we visit, my kids want to sleep with their grandma that they very rarely see because of how far apart we live.
 
Josh said:
The religion thing I find a bit peculiar because it is a personal thing. If church makes you happy and in turn a better person then go but I think an individual needs to choose that. Going out of a sense of obligation almost seems more disrespectful.
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+1.

Not to mention how disrespectful it is to "force" someone to go to a church. I think that everyone should respect eachother, it is not a one way street. Pulling up pants does not interfere with anyones faith or belief system, but if you expect someone to go to (your) church as a "thank you" for spending the night you are way out of line. Just my 2 cents...
 
I'm okay with the church thing, I was exposed to religions growing up but never attended a church any exposure that I have had to a churching event was favourable - notice I did not mention religion.
I bet I could walk into a cathelic church sit through a session, then walk across the street to a united church and sit through a session, then cross the street to a mormon church and sit through a session and not be able to tell which religion was being represented.
I bet I would find a few things in common: people cleanly dressed and looking presentable, people kindly interacting with each other, the person ministering giving a message of being good to one another - can't find anything wrong with that - sure they may mention God, Jesus, Mohammed, Allha or Budha but only as a reference to over all good to humanity. I don't believe I would hear the burn in hell type rant. I may take issue if it were the church of marijuana.

Then I bet, each passes around the hat for donations.

Perhaps Wordwiz believes that family members go to church and to leave the sleepover person in the home by themselves would be unacceptable, therefore every one in the house goes together.
 
MrArboc said:
+1.

Not to mention how disrespectful it is to "force" someone to go to a church. I think that everyone should respect eachother, it is not a one way street. Pulling up pants does not interfere with anyones faith or belief system, but if you expect someone to go to (your) church as a "thank you" for spending the night you are way out of line. Just my 2 cents...
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+2

Then again, if that is his rules then you have a choice to either agree to them or get the hell out of there.
 
DickT said:
I don't get the pants half way down the ass thing, it looks so stupid...
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You certainly didn't say this, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I don't believe something as subjective as fashion should be a consideration in the character of an individual. As a result, I don't think it should be used as a basis to decide what people can and cannot do. It is Mike's home so he can make up his own rules. Still, simply because your pants are half way down your butt, you have tattoos, or piercings doesn't mean you are a bad individual. I don't know if it is relevant but I have never had any piercings or tattoos. I also wear my pants at my waist and the majority of the week wear shirts that have a collar. The only reason I mention that is to dispel any thoughts that I am trying to defend my lifestyle.
 
My objection to the pants thing is about decency. I do not need to know the shape of anyones behind that well- I didnt need to know that her thong is green- that she shaves that low, or that he prefers plaid boxers, either. and if you have to hold your pants up by the crotch, well, you need to buy some pants that fit, my friend. As far as on my kids? its a safety issue. Once a young man got on the bus behind me, when he put his wallets in his pocket after pulling out his fare, it dropped his pants to his ankles and sent him sprawling onto his face- I think he fell out of his un-tied shoes, as well. Mobility is important. Moving well is attractive. Having your hands free to defend yourself is wise. A style choice that deliberately handicaps you does not sound like a style to me. Like, whale-bone corsets. Not really attractive, and dangerous besides.
 
Maybe I need to clarify things a bit: in no way do I think that pants drooping down to their hips means they are bad people, anymore than long hair, tattoos, lip rings or multi-colored hair do. But I find them (the pants and lip rings) disgusting. As I posted, only one time, out of hundreds of visitors, have I had a guy refuse to pull them up. That told me he had no respect for me and as such was not welcome.

On the church thing, the only ones who spend the night are Catholic, went to a Catholic grade school and are or were in a Catholic high school. I would never force someone, outside of my children who live at home to go to a church whose religion they did not practice. The girls who do stay with my daughter accept the rules - if they really do not want to go to Mass Sunday morning, they tend to spend Saturday night someplace else.

Mike
 
Hey Mike,

Your house....your rules....PERIOD. If I say the twins can have someone over (or a couple someones, which is more the norm around here) they all understand that I'm in charge and that they are subject to the "house" rules. In other words, my rules. I'm, by no means, an ass about things nor do we attend church (although if we did, they'd be coming with us!). I'm simply a straight-across-the-board kinda parent. I'f my kids are made to follow the rules, then so are their guests.

And, yes, I've made kids pull up their damn pants at the door! :rofl:
 
I agree w/ the Paulkster your house, your rules makes sense. The religion deal makes sense if you're all Catholics too.

Guessing I'm eventually gonna be a kinda a hypocrite w/ my kids. My looks have changed a lot here and there, but personally I never wanted any tats or piercings. Guess I had some ear stuff going in high school, but lost em in the late/mid 90's... Still can't think of anything I'd want tatted on me- would just end up irritating me a few years later. (As I said, personally- whatev on whatever anybody else wants to do.) Gotta say I'm really over face piercings on hot chicks, and leg and huge shoulder tats kinda turn me off. Won't even bring up tramp stamps... :doh: Anyway- in a nutshell, I hope my kids don't pull anything too weird on us later. You seem old school Wordwiz, and that is intended as a compliment. Big ups to you for establishing some kinda order in your pad!

Can't resist leavin' you with this though Wordwiz- believe it or not they don't sag, fit really well at the waist! I also have them in denim if you ever wanna go clubbin' or to a rave sometime :lol:

IMG_5404.jpg


Sorry! I was lost in a techno wasteland long ago... Made it out, but still have some gear lyin' around...
 
Boutros, I know this is an odd question but are those kitchen drawers behind you wood on wood. Just curious if I am the only person still living in the 1930s or whatever decade that was still the norm.
 
Wood on wood, you're not alone and it is still the norm here. The look is completed with false tile linoleum on the floor. :lol: Cheap linoleum.
 
I fear we are a bit new school in that point. My wife and me are together for ten years now. She brought five kids into the marriage and we have No. 6 together. At the moment three of the six kids live in our household. And, like my wife did before, we have an open house for the kid's friends. No matter how deep the pants, how colorful the hair or skin. We have rules. Of course. No disrespect. No lies. No hollering. And, of course, make yourself at home. If you are hungry or thirsty, help yourself. We are not here to serve.
My eldest son, well, actually step son but I deleted that syllable long ago, is 28 years old now. When he was about 15 he and his buddies repaired mopeds and the neighbor's cars in front of my wife's garage. They knew they were accepted as they were so they stayed around the house and didn't hang out in dangerous places. That's what my wife told the police once neighbors felt disturbed. And that's how we keep it until today. The big boys brought some weird buddies home. But those weirdos didn't feel good in that open atmosphere and didn't come back. The nice ones stayed. That may not be transferred to every household but for us it works out great.
Maybe the saggy pants thing is a bit different here in Germany. It's a fashion thing. Not a gang sign. And the four big boys all had their saggy pants phase and have grown out of it. Now our seven year old son has adopted that style. He will grow out of it.

Celeste said:
A style choice that deliberately handicaps you does not sound like a style to me. Like, whale-bone corsets. Not really attractive, and dangerous besides.
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Whale-bone corsets? Well, dangerous only if worn every day... And quite attractive in some situations... ;)
 
boutros said:
Wood on wood, you're not alone and it is still the norm here. The look is completed with false tile linoleum on the floor. :lol: Cheap linoleum.
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Hahha we have the linoleum floor going as well. Hopefully sooner or later we will be able to gut it and start from scratch. The appliances are very nice and up to date though. It just costs so much to remodel a kitchen. And that is excluding labor since me and my father would do all the work.
 
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