Quotes of Interest...

[WarrantMan]

"It only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.."    George Burns

 

[MikeUSMC]

"I don't even like cocaine. I just like the way it smells"

-Richard Pryor

 

[paulky_2000]

Remember........no matter where you go.......
 
.....there you are.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJCZbXqbkBc

 

[texas blues]

Make that sandwich to go.
 
Judas Iscariot.

 

[PtMD989]

Here are some not so famous quotes, Nothing worse than a drunk man when you’re sober, and a sober man when you’re drunk.
I’m a jack of all trades, master of none.
Those were from my Dad, I’m sure he wasn’t the first to say them. Back in his day he could fix anything [emoji16]


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[PtMD989]

Watch out, it’s going to get ugly!
Dr. Reinhardt ( the Dr who delivered me). He’s probably right [emoji16]


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[WarrantMan]

This has stuck in my head now for about 20 years. I bear witness.
 
Booking officer to older grossly intoxicated woman: "Ma'm what's your name?"
 
"What?" says the woman.
 
"What's your name?"  He asks again
 
"What?" The woman stammers.
 
Frustrated, the booking officer asks more loudly and slowly "Ma'm what's your name? What's your whole name?"
 
She laughs hysterically.
 
"What's so damn funny?" The agitated booking officer asks.
 
The woman replies and I quote - "I never gave my hole a name!"    - Drunk woman Charleston County jail late 1990's
 

 

[nmlarson]

Those were from my Dad, Im sure he wasnt the first to say them. Back in his day he could fix anything [emoji16]

Your Dad and mine must have been related in another life. Mine was a jack of all trades and master of all he attempted. And could grow just about anything. And always had some crazy mad scientist experiment going on in the garden. Here's a few of his favorites:

Life is short. Eat dessert first.

There's the easy way and the hard way. What's it gonna be?

If it's a problem, there's a solution. Otherwise, you don't have a problem.

 

[Rockandrollin]

The older I get, the weirder everyone else is!

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

our`s is not to wonder why, our`s is just to do or die.
 
 
 
edit: our`s is not to reason why, our`s is just to do or die.
 

 

[luvmesump3pp3rz]

you know the golden rule. the man with the gold rules.

 

[Hab_Nut]

Music is the most physically inspiring of all the Arts. - Frank Zappa
 

 

[alkhall]

I wish I was as young as the first time I said "I'm getting too old for this shit!"

 

[Guatemalan Insanity Pepper]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 
- Alan Dundes

 

[Scovie]

"WTF IS THIS?!?"
~Yours Truly 10 times a day.

 

[bob65]

"If you are not meant to drink and drive, why do pubs have car parks?"
 
Some random Australian

 

[alkhall]

I remember my Grandmother telling me;
 
"Never argue with an idiot. A disinterested observer will be unable to tell you apart."

 

[alkhall]

To be effective; one should thoroughly analyze the situation, foresee any problems, and have solutions ready before the problems occur.
 
However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself the objective was to drain the swamp.

 

[saiias]

“It is only when a Mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize, there is always a way to solve problems without violence”.

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[Hab_Nut]

The Mothers of Invention, from the album Lumpy Gravy:
 
Everything in the universe is made of one element, which is a note, a single note. Atoms are really vibrations, you know, which are extensions of THE BIG NOTE, everything's one note.