• We welcome content that is not political, divisive, or offensive. If we feel your content leans this way or has the potential to, it may be removed at any time. A hot pepper forum is not the place for such content. Thank you for respecting the community!

The Chronicles of JayT

I'm swearing JayT must have stopped by here while I was out.... both of my purple jalapeno plants are crazy full of buds and blossoms. He's just that good.
 
I'm resigning from this thread...... What is this world coming to?!?!?
:mope:

There again, maybe Scovie's on to something: hot dogwater......
 
Sometimes on Tuesdays I lend my microwave to an orphanage in Cambodia. On the slight chance that I need to give hot dogs to starving children elsewhere in the world I carry a ten gallon pot from my belt and boil water in it with my mind. Then hot dogs, nourished children, hot dog water, geeme's plants blossum, everyone is happy.
 
Jay took first place in the 2010 World Ice Carving Championship held in Fairbanks, AK. He made a carving of a giant microwave and hotdogs ringed with children from around the world. The ice was made from...you guessed it...hotdog water!



True story.
 
Ok time to take this thread back to where it started the Chronicles of JayT.​

Captain’s Log, Stardate 65518.9; USS Capsicum.
After 3 year in the Beta Quadrant monitoring the Romulan Neutral Zone we are returning to Star base 173 before continuing on to Earth. Rendezvous with the USS Kooltongue for their assuming the patrol is 3 hours overdue and so far there is no contact with them.
“Captain to the Bridge, Captain to the Bridge” suddenly blares out of the intercom. Captain Frydad reaches over and toggles the talk switch, “What is it Sum?”
“Boss, the biggest damn ship I’ve ever seen just uncloaked off our starboard bow. The thing takes up the entire view screen and we’re at maximum magnification. So far they’re just sitting there.”
“Ok, on my way. Captain out”
Captain Frydad jumped up and headed out the door of his cabin and entered the lift. As the doors closed behind him he said, “Bridge”. The lift lurched upwards and picked up speed. 2 seconds it stopped and the doors opened. “Status” he ordered as he walked to the captain’s chair.
1[sup]st[/sup] Office Sum walked towards the captain, “So far nothing. We have tried hailing on all frequencies and all known languages. Shields and weapons are at stand by”
“Awesome”, said the captain, “Mr. Wheebz, what does the scanner show?”
“Boss, scanners can only just break through the skin of that monster and there’s not enough definition to make anything out.

Suddenly the ship was bathed in green light that ceased as suddenly as it started. The Capsicum went dark, all power drained. Emergency battery lights kicked in and Sum looked at the panel in front of him. “Captain, all power has been drained. Weapon, Shields and Life Support all down. We’re dead in Space.”
The Captain looked around the bridge at his crew. “We’ve no options. Chief gets up the deck plates we have to manually initiate the self destruct.” Wheebz pulled up the center 2 plates exposing a manual lock. Captain Frydad dialed in the first 2 numbers then First Office Sum dialed in the next 2. Finally Chief Wheebz dialed in the last 2. The door opened revealing a flashing red button. Wheebz looked around at the others and said, “Been good serving with you guys. See ya on the other side” and pressed the button. The button started to rise on a column as a surprised Wheebz stepped back. As it stopped the top opened to reveal a hidden compartment. Inside was a black leather bag which he lifted out and handed to the captain. He opened it and looked into the dark opening then reached in and pulled out a slip of paper upon which the words “Blow Me” were inscribed. Puzzled, the captain reached back into the bag and pulled out an Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle. Everyone laughed and Sum said “well, blow it”. Frydad put the whistle to his lips and blew giving off a shrill plastic sounding whistle which started to grow. First getting louder and then expanding into a chorus continually growing in volume and intensity. The whistle then flew from his hand and disappeared in a flash when is reached the hull and the bridge was once again left in deathly silence. As Captain Frydad was about to say something the front view screen flickered a couple of times and came up revealing the enormous ship and a new one that was shaped strangely like a Chili Cheese Dog. Frydad’s hand communicator chirped and he pulled it from his belt. He flipped it open and said “Capsicum, Captain Frydad here”
“Captain,” came the reply, “you and your people prepare to be beamed over.” Automatically the moved into position and a few seconds later they were standing on the bridge of the hot dog.
“Captain, I’m JayT. Captain of the Doginator. We’re here to help you.” JayT moved to a control panel and pressed a button, “TB, I’m going to need all the quesso you can give me.”
“Roger, whenever your ready.” came the reply.
JayT hesitated only 2 seconds then looking at one of his crew said “FIRE!!” and a stream of yellow goo shot out from the front of the dog ship and completely creamed the other ship. “BULLSEYE!” shouted JayT and the crew cheered. The alien ship began to float off into space completely dead. JayT looked at Captain Frydad, “Now, let’s see what we can do to get you back up and operational.” He walked over to the science consol and looked into the scanners display studying the output and after a few minutes turned to his guests and said, “I have just what you need. Follow me.” He then led them to the galley and pulled 8 frozen hot dogs out and placed them on a paper plate and into a microwave oven. A minute later they were done. Together he beamed back to the Capsicum and with the Chief Engineer replaced the dilithium crystals with the microwave hot dogs. “Now wait just a cotton picking second here you can’t just replace those with a bunch of hot dogs!”
JayT just smiled and with a wink at Frydad said, “Never underestimate the power of a great microwave hot dog.” The Chief Engineer closed and sealed the dilithium chambers and the Engineering chamber was filled with the sound of the system powering up however with intensity unheard before. The Chief Engineer looked at the gages and then at the captain, “Sir, the power is off the scale”

JayT just smiled, opened his communicator and said “Ready to beam over” and in a flash he was gone. Captain Frydad and his men returned to the bridge. “Set heading for Star base 173.”
“Laid in sir” was the reply. Frydad spoke a single word.

JayT rolled over on his couch stretching as an empty Tequila bottle slipped harmlessly to the floor. “Engage, Warp 5” he whispered “lets go home.” And he drifted back deeper into sleep.

True Story!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top