The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[logchief]

Keystones don't really make it here in large quantities.
I mean, we can get it, but it's not in abundance the way we need our beer to be.

$11.98 a 30 pack, that's cheap drinkin

 

[frydad4]

Werd, DTS. Swing a miami trip in there too!!!
Pauky, that stuff looked awesome!!! You're always drinkin. Besides, I think I caught a screwdriver in a pint glass in one of the pics!!!

Here we go...
Some prep stuff. I really don't remember what we did, but we made our own dough. The mrs. contributed quite handily.
Made a curry puff pastry dough.
Stuffed with leftover beer can chicken, habs, aji lemon, onion, garlic, tomato, beer, bread crumbs.
Baked until golden.
Meanwhile we whooped up a Pickapeppa Jerk Cream Sauce. (not that kind of jerk cream).
Threw in some scotch bonnet sauce for good measure.
Plated pics to come soon, hopefully.

The saute'

DOH!!

Beer in the mix

MO' DOH!!!

Stuffed to the gills

Egg Washed

Jerk Cream

The best is yet to come.

FD

 

[logchief]

No matter what you can't go wrong with Pickapeppa. My pop got me started on that back in the 60's

 

[frydad4]

Sometimes I put pickapeppa on plated pictures of pomegranate pancake puffs.

It is the nectar of the (jamaican) gods.

Hope things are going well in the log kitchen tonight. Suds are flowing. Photobucket keeps getting harder to navigate for some reason.

Jerk Chicken Patties with Pickapeppa Jerk Cream, drunken SoFlo style.

Enjoy, or as we say...enyoy.

FD

 

[logchief]

So Flo put out some unbelieveable Hot Pockets there. I'm gonna have to post some good pics

 

[logchief]

Well I had everything almost finished posting and must have clicked something and away it went so starting over.

Roasted tomitillos, garlic and jalepenos

Chicken simmered with bay, oregano and NuMex green chile powder

Roasted veges pureed and added to broth from chicken with more green powder

Sauteed onions and more cilantro

Chicken mixed with onions and roasted Poblanos getting ready for rolling enchiladas

And dinner is served.

Wife loved them, so that's all I needed to hear and she has leftovers while I fly out to Tucson for the week.

Tomorrow is a pot of beans with chiles and FOOTBALL WITH LOTS OF

I'll probably get my ass chewed for not having booze in these last pics, but OH WELL.

 

[Deathtosnails]

Bada boom, bada bing baby!!! That's the money right there!

 

[SumOfMyBits]

LC- good hangs tonight. That is some good lookin' grub!

P2K&R- Ain't no doubt about what that is... can I get a Hot Blue an' Righteous!?!

DTS- Miami... make it. (<---Can I copyright this? It sounds awesome this many beers-deep.)

Sum

 

[salsalady]

Money shots all over here, with or without da booze in the shot!! Creamy poof pastry, roasted toms, lots of great stuff!



I just have to post just one picture of what the 12-year olds who came over for a b-day party for the 'kid have to endure at the SalsaFamily household.
This image only has a portion of the items sampled. Which were-
Pepper Ridge Farm Extract
HBD Albo-gator
Circle-H Biohazard
Scorned Woman
Ghost Fire
Scorcher salsa
extra spicy Guac
Peruvian White Hab pure
DuvalDavez 5.3 experimental

And Zane did a Brain Strain! What a chilehead!!!!

Couple more years of this and the 'Kid won't be able to get ANYONE to come over for a party!

And there is no alky in the pics, but Mom and Dad are definitely enjoying a little tranquilizing sauce while the kids run amuck.

I can't wait to see their faces in the morning when I serve the kids some hab-infused grape juice with their homemade waffles for breakfast!


All fun aside, one of the kids backed out of the hot stuff eating fairly early on ( it was "Slim" of the "Slim and Jim" hot pepper eating video) one kid ate several of the sauces but knew when to call it quits, and another kid was...BRING IT ON!!! "I've tasted this stuff before, what's the hottest you got?" LOVE IT!

 

[texas blues]

What in the Sam Hail is goin' on here??? Ya'll are gettin' down brown with some serious effin' drunken cheffin'! SoFlo...testify!

 

[JayT]

SoFlo PIE!!!! Yes!

Paul, those carnitas looked so good. I swear I could smell them from here. I have one idea for you for next time though, instead of the broiler, maybe a splash of oil and a hot cast iron would work better for you. Add the sauce after you crisp 'em up and let carmelize for a minute. Just a thought.

 

[frydad4]

maybe a splash of oil and a hot cast iron

Thats how we do it here. Sometimes more than a splash of oil, we fry that stuff up crispy. When you take it out it falls apart. Good Stuff!!!

Log, you brought it! Did you say you won't be around for leftovers???? Its a shame, that looked awesome. And you do your own salsa verde...Tomatillos are fun to cook with!

Thanks for the nice comments. We had fun. Today we will be partaking in some undocumented drunken cheffery, with the football games and all.

Prost!!!

FD

 

[Davez Foodz]

You people obviously haven't seen beer in a while. There's not booze in every damn photo, but it was there.

If that's not good enough I'll delete the photos and move it to another thread.

Your carnitas looked great! Though the Money shots didn't show the beer, I knew it was there! Creating something that perfect is nearly impossible without beer. And have we all forgotten the infamous precision timing method you have devised?

 

[Davez Foodz]

Money shots all over here, with or without da booze in the shot!! Creamy poof pastry, roasted toms, lots of great stuff!



I just have to post just one picture of what the 12-year olds who came over for a b-day party for the 'kid have to endure at the SalsaFamily household.
This image only has a portion of the items sampled. Which were-
Pepper Ridge Farm Extract
HBD Albo-gator
Circle-H Biohazard
Scorned Woman
Ghost Fire
Scorcher salsa
extra spicy Guac
Peruvian White Hab pure
DuvalDavez 5.3 experimental

And Zane did a Brain Strain! What a chilehead!!!!

Couple more years of this and the 'Kid won't be able to get ANYONE to come over for a party!

And there is no alky in the pics, but Mom and Dad are definitely enjoying a little tranquilizing sauce while the kids run amuck.

I can't wait to see their faces in the morning when I serve the kids some hab-infused grape juice with their homemade waffles for breakfast!


All fun aside, one of the kids backed out of the hot stuff eating fairly early on ( it was "Slim" of the "Slim and Jim" hot pepper eating video) one kid ate several of the sauces but knew when to call it quits, and another kid was...BRING IT ON!!! "I've tasted this stuff before, what's the hottest you got?" LOVE IT!

Man-o-man, what those kids HAD to endure... Lucky kids!

 

[paulky_2000]

Simply an amazing push here In the drunken chef!!!!

You all are on FIRE!!

Thank you for all the kind words. A toast to all the supporters!!!!!

 

[megamoo]

If I may limp in with an entry in this o magnificent thread?

Forgot to take construction pictures but I'll explain what I did.

drank beer
fried some beef pieces
drank more beer
added onion, can of three bean mix and several large spoons of tikka masala paste.
drank
mixed in some cream and smokey jolokia sauce and simmered
sat it on a bed of rice
remembered to take photo
ate the whole thing
drank beer

It is important to note that I tried to pour a little bit of the hot sauce on and because it was straight out of the fridge it didn't come out. So I shook it vigorously and patted the bottom of the bottle until guess what? I got about four times as much as I wanted. Yeah it was good and hot.

My theory is: if it already looks like it will when it comes out the other end then your body doesn't have so much work to do.

 

[wheebz]

thats not a bad way of looking at it

 

[paulky_2000]

$11.98 a 30 pack, that's cheap drinkin

Amen, brother!!!

My theory is: if it already looks like it will when it comes out the other end then your body doesn't have so much work to do.

thats not a bad way of looking at it

TOO FUNNY!!!!

 

[salsalady]

megamoo's first DC post?

Color looks ~~~ but photos are deceiving as I know a lot of chili (the soup kind) doesn't always have the same color in the photo. I think it sounds delicious and looks like a great spicy comfort food.

And haven't we all done the big-glop of sauce at some time or other?

Nice Job, MM.

 

[megamoo]

megamoo's first DC post?

Color looks ~~~ but photos are deceiving as I know a lot of chili (the soup kind) doesn't always have the same color in the photo. I think it sounds delicious and looks like a great spicy comfort food.

And haven't we all done the big-glop of sauce at some time or other?

Nice Job, MM.

Thanks Salsalady. It was comforting. And yes I did put some white pieces of paper leaning against the wall as a backdrop. My house is currently so messy that there wasn't a single spot I would photograph and post . I'm hopefully moving house sometime in the next few days so everything is messed up.

The colour came up good for the photo I took. The tikka paste was pathetic, won't be buying that one again. It was bright orange and the cream turned it to the colour you see. Unless your monitor colour is calibrated off, apparently everyone's is a bit. The little dark flecks are bits of bhut jolokia from the sauce.

This won't be my last drunken chef post... I sense a carnita experiment in my future!