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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Ok that's where I draw the line. Yes it was a frozen patty, but the ham was very good ham, the cheese was some sort of expensive swiss similar to gruyere, the rolls were potato rolls, and I wasn't getting fanned with palm leaves THEY WERE BANANA!!! :lol:
 
grilled sirloin steak w/sucklebusters campfire steak seasoning.
white onion, bush's grilling beans bourbon & brown sugar flavor.
schells schmaltz's alt, bubba gator hab steak sauce (w/gator foot) - flavor was great but heat was lacking....even had habs as 1st ingredient :crazy: I didnt add the sauce for the pic but used it & then added some mixed chile powder to bring up the heat.
I was STUFFED after this meal! the raw steak was bigger, damn near filled the plate!

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I picked up this bird on the cheap with the plan to deep fry the sob.
Alas,I ended up flattening it;brining it;then went for the oven roast.

The brine consisted of a can of chix stock,cinnamon stick,candied ginger,all spice berries,brown sugar,salt,black peppercorn and ice water to cover.
I let the bird brine overnight.

Next day, I took it outta the brine washed it off.
Then I rubbed the bird with some canola oil and CaJohn's Jolokia rub.

The bird went into the oven @450 degrees for 15mins.Then dropped the heat to 350 for 30 more mins

no pics of the sides as the wife and sister in law were already working on them(and the bird)


cheers

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no guesses = no prizes
wow I thought it might of been easy to guess cuz of shape of meat package & ingredients.

1 pound lobster tail. it was basted with butter/garlic powder & fatalii powder
red spuds sauteed w/a little olive oil & butter w/some fatalii powder, thin sliced fresh garlic, some garlic & herb seasoning, parsley.
dipping sauce - butter w/garlic powder, fatalii powder
rhubarb wine


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no guesses = no prizes
wow I thought it might of been easy to guess cuz of shape of meat package & ingredients.

1 pound lobster tail. it was basted with butter/garlic powder & fatalii powder
red spuds sauteed w/a little olive oil & butter w/some fatalii powder, thin sliced fresh garlic, some garlic & herb seasoning, parsley.
dipping sauce - butter w/garlic powder, fatalii powder
rhubarb wine


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Oh baby that looks good! Seafood is my weakness..................... Looks great for breakfast.
 
CH, where the hell are you finding one pound lobster tails these days? The ones I can find are no bigger than big shrimps! :lol:

That looks absolurely sinful!!
 
was that a florida lobster???

It looks great!

Guessing from the shape of the package I would have though it was burrito meat.
 
"Prawns" are what they serve in U.S. restaurants when they want to charge more for "Shrimp".

Zackly! But having said that, they actually are two different species. Here..

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Prawn_vs_Shrimp

Then again...who cares? Just gimme' some!
 
well ive been super busy with school, but I decided to just say screw it and even though I have a big test tomorrow might as well cook for the first time in my kitchen, I mean that is of course why I got this place



4 alarm ( i guess), but im being generous, chicken strip sammiches with pepper jack cheese, Defcon 1 sauce, Scotch Bonnet Sauce, Sassys Pepper blend, cajun seasoning, and Defcon Smoke powder

Arcadia Cereal Killer barleywine too

holy testicles are they hot
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