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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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Plastic recepticle for the fermented red grape juice TB? I suppose, nothing could make californian wine any worse....
 
I HATE this thread!!!!!

I'm fine when you make me hungry...

I'm fine when you make me thirsty...

I CANT TAKE IT when you make me BOTH!!!!

To calm my rage please postmark all food and beverages to.........
 
Decided to skip out of class early today

I had a hankering for some drunken steak sammiches

3lbs of skirt steak

1 onion, green pepper, bunch of shroomies

1 dutch oven

2 bottles of North Coast Old Rasputin

couple of thai chillies

and one hell of a pepper jack cheese sauce

ohh

and a french baguette, thank you Whole Foods bakery

im just getting the stuff prepped now, gotta figure out how I want to do this skirt steak, i might just throw everything in the dutchy and cook it at like 250 for a while
 
Everytime I get/ see a skirt steak I think Carne asada. I would marinade and broil the skirt then sautee the rest to put on top - I love skirt steaks and women in skirts even better is a drunk woman in a short skirt but I digress... Enjoy and TGIF
 
Yeah, no method other than something hot and fast comes to my mind when preparing skirt steak. DO at 250F doesn't, for sure. And I'll leave thoughts of drunk women in short skirts to you guys....
 
so I ended up grabbing the steak out and flashing it on a skillet with seasonings

final result

Wheebz Drunken Irish Philadelphian

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Sweet looking Sammie you got there. I've got a bottle of Iniquity and a bottle of Rogue so I may have to give this a try with one of them.
 
We have a new Thai restaurant that just opened up in town. It's actually the only Thai restaurant in about 250 miles....So we tried it out. I ordered a green curry with chicken and Honey ordered Pad Thai with chicken. They have the 1-Star to 5-Star heat scale so we both ordered 5-star.

Well, the dished were served, we tentatively took our first bites, and I promptly dug out the little keychain vial of red chile blend powder. After a generous dusting of hot chile powder, we enjoyed the rest of our meals.

The next week, we decided to give it another try. I picked up 2 orders of Pad Thai with chicken to go. When ordering, I told the server we wanted it 7-stars. She looked at me in surprise and said, "are you sure?" Yes, I assured her we wanted 7-stars. (I almost ordered 8-stars.)

When the server gave the order to the kitchen, I heard someone say, "7-stars?!? Are You Serious?!?" And the server assured him 7-stars was the order. A little while later, the server came out of the kitchen coughing and eyes watering. She said our orders were too spicy in the air.

When we tasted our to-go Pad Thai, I have to say it was BETTER than the 5-star, we could actually taste a little heat in the sauce. But it still wasn't hot enough to get a burn or even much of a tingle going. We hit the dried pepper stash and laced it up with some dried peruvian white habanero powder.

Now I do have to say the food was fresh, delicious and prepared wonderfully. It just didn't have the heat we were looking for in a Thai food dish.


Which is how we ended up here in the Drunken Chef thread- On the way home from work yesterday, Honey asked what was for dinner in the Drunken Chef's kitchen and I knew we had to do a properly hot curry!

Here' you go!
chicken, veggies, a habanero, sambal, garlic, coconut milk, Chinese-style noodles, cilantro-
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forgot the sambal and broth in the first picture, but ended up not using the broth
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I steamed the carrots and green beans, then sauteed them in sesame oil and a little olive oil with the habanero, garlic, onions, and red bell peppers. The sauteed veggies are on the right, just added the chicken on the left.
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Everything all sauteed up, with about a tablespoon of red curry paste and 2 big spoons of sambal in the middle, coconut milk going in-
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Dinner is served!
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Now THAT was a spicy curry! Just a nice burn in the mouth, the kid had to drink a glass of milk with his, but he still ate his whole bowl. Honey and I just thoroughly enjoyed the heat.

I think it's official, the SalsaFamily has been completely assimilated into the Chile Pepper Continuum!


Heck, even the dog has been assimilated! He'll eat chips and hot sauce right along with the rest of us. He'll curl up his lip when he first smells the sauce and then eats it anyway. :lol:
 
Hey, wheebz that dip sammie looks DELICIOUS! might be an idea for tonights' dinner~~~~
 
salsalady said:
On the way home from work yesterday, Honey asked what was for dinner in the Drunken Chef's kitchen and I knew we had to do a properly hot curry!
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Looks fantastic! I might have to do something similar tonight. My wok has been gathering dust for a while.
 
here's the vial of hot powder that saved the restaurant meal from blandness-
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