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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Mmmmmmm.Pork
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It's windy and rainy here today.Kind of a bitch to keep a steady temp on the cooker.
But check out the smoke ring on those ribs!

Chingao hot smoke and sassafras! Excellent hot meat pornage and the smoke ring even matches the flower plate. I like to be liking very much those poppers too!
 
Damn! Them is some tasty looking vittles. Well played.

Thank you very much!High praise indeed,from someone in BBQ land.Around here it's almost impossible to find good Q.It all tasted great.Glad I used applewood,cause
with the high winds anything else would've tasted too smokey.Couldnt control the amount of smoke at all!



And thanks to everybody else too.It did taste as good as it looked.The beans might have been the best yet I've cooked.And nothing beats smoked poppers :halo:
 
WOW!!!
Dude, you got those things to be almost ALL smokering!!! Great job!

JT does ribs in the microwave.
They don't have a smoke ring, they have a mushroom cloud.

Awesome entry!
 
I personally couldn't have eaten that. No. Not. See, eating involves chewing, and that takes TOO MUCH TIME - that looks so good I'd have to down it FAST!
 
Thank you very much!High praise indeed,from someone in BBQ land.Around here it's almost impossible to find good Q.It all tasted great.Glad I used applewood,cause
with the high winds anything else would've tasted too smokey.Couldnt control the amount of smoke at all!



And thanks to everybody else too.It did taste as good as it looked.The beans might have been the best yet I've cooked.And nothing beats smoked poppers :halo:


Keep that up, Hawkeye, and we'll put you in charge of cooking for the NW Chilefest.

No, Seriously! KEEP IT UP! HabaneroHeat81 and I did the wings last year, I'm nominating you and Scovie to head up the smoker.


;)
 
o.k. i guess i have to show yal some ribs. ill kill pig tomorrow,and post within the next few days. hawkeye you going down! p.s. those realy look amazing
 
there on the way do you guys want pics of the slaughter??????????

Did you get them off the docks? Pic's of the castration could be fun... I kid sicman, you always make me laugh!




Yo Hawkeye... You goin to TNW Chilifest? I was thinking about trailering my BBQ over there. Wanna make some smoke with our food? I'm all in, espescially after seeing them ribs... I'd prolly learn somethin.




'
 
Did you get them off the docks? Pic's of the castration could be fun... I kid sicman, you always make me laugh!




Yo Hawkeye... You goin to TNW Chilifest? I was thinking about trailering my BBQ over there. Wanna make some smoke with our food? I'm all in, espescially after seeing them ribs... I'd prolly learn somethin.

I'll loan ya our smoker~~~~
 
Slight miscalculation...now I got about a gallon of Chipotle, serrano, habanero BBQ sauce. I guess its time for a party!

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I think I see the culprit near the center of the photo! Excuse me Mr Shiner Bock...would you please refrain from being so delicious while I am cooking!
 
I think the NW chilifest would be great.I'm a long ways from being an expert,but would like to pitch in and do my share to help good eats happen.I have a cheap POS smoker that is hard to work with.
Workin with you on a trailered smoker would be cool as hell! I am still a relative rookie on the low & slow cooking...But I know what I like and am willing to share anything I know :halo: I'll look into the campsite for it.
 
Mmmmmmm.Pork
DSCF0964.jpg


DSCF0968.jpg


It's windy and rainy here today.Kind of a bitch to keep a steady temp on the cooker.
But check out the smoke ring on those ribs!

How did I miss this awesomeness! Everything there looks great.
 
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