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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
That burger/bun/burger triumph Norvic posted was all up in mah wheelhouse....
 
low carb health food, that.  NATCH!
 
Outstanding D3!!!!
 
Normally I'd call that a funky foo foo burger and for true poo poo it for working the meat and adding eggs.
 
To me thats meat loaf.
 
But then there's the pic of that 'thang.
 
Have mercy and got dang!
 
I love meatloaf long time.
 
I'm quite certain I'd eat the sheeit out of that burger long time too!
 
 
DTS...
 
What can I say?
 
Chorizo.
 
Thats all you had to say compadre.
 
And that final body cavity pic?
 
I've seen a lot of money pics in this thread.
 
Good money.
 
Michael Jordan money.
 
Thatern' though....
 
Like Bill fucking Gates money!!!!
 
 
Thats my cheeseburger.
 
texas blues said:
Outstanding D3!!!!
 
Normally I'd call that a funky foo foo burger and for true poo poo it for working the meat and adding eggs.
 
To me thats meat loaf.
 
But then there's the pic of that 'thang.
 
Have mercy and got dang!
 
I love meatloaf long time.
 
I'm quite certain I'd eat the sheeit out of that burger long time too!
 
 
DTS...
 
What can I say?
 
Chorizo.
 
Thats all you had to say compadre.
 
And that final body cavity pic?
 
I've seen a lot of money pics in this thread.
 
Good money.
 
Michael Jordan money.
 
Thatern' though....
 
Like Bill f**king Gates money!!!!
 
 
Thats my cheeseburger.
 
I normally don't put eggs... but I wanted an excuse to use the tiny quail eggs in something. Wifey turned her nose up to me poaching them and putting on burger. Didn't want the whole thing of them to go to waste. 
 
I'll agree on the loaf v burger if eggs are included with the caveat that any super lean beef (such as the wife gets from our farmer at times) actually needs some binder to hold it together - especially on the grill.  Nothing worse than your burger patty going rogue and falling to pieces while you're trying to flip the bastige...
 
For the record I think the best burger is ground chuck @ 80% lean and 20% fat.  
 
I have to admit, I've turned out to be a shallow patty dimpler, too.
 
I like the juice holder design, and when cooking them on the grill, I'll cook them 2/3-3/4 on the first side typically ...
 
I could really go for some plain ole grilling one of these days, actually ... sometimes short cooks are nice, as well.
 
grantmichaels said:
Use mayo in burger meat mix one time = eggs in burgers forever.
 
I found brushing mayo on burgers after the sear (but still on grill cooking) does something special. It keeps the surface from drying and adds a nice fatty sear with more depth of flavor. That's why it works great on fish too, as the surface can dry out.
 
SmokenFire said:
For the record I think the best burger is ground chuck @ 80% lean and 20% fat.
 
Yuuuuuuup. And six ounces makes the perfect burger for me, for the regular size bun.
 
grantmichaels said:
I have to admit, I've turned out to be a shallow patty dimpler, too.

I like the juice holder design,
The dimple is so in the end the patty is flat. If you don't dimple, there is a bulge in the center. Okay you probably know that.
 
I just involve the mayo in my meat mix, but the result is the same - spectacular.
 
If I could only have one ingredient to make a burger, it would be mayo ...
 
Maybe salt first, but then mayo next, then black pepper, and finally some worcestershire ...
 
And yeah, I was happy to have found the dimple ... no more whisps of unrendered fat in the center of my burgers.
 
grantmichaels said:
I just involve the mayo in my meat mix, but the result is the same - spectacular.
 
If I could only have one ingredient to make a burger, it would be mayo ...
 
Maybe salt first, but then mayo next, then black pepper, and finally some worcestershire ...
 
And yeah, I was happy to have found the dimple ... no more whisps of unrendered fat in the center of my burgers.
How much mayo do you add....say for a pound of ground beef?
 
SmokenFire said:
I bet that would work well in the super lean my wife gets.  She's gonna be pist.... 
 
lol
 
It's magical.
 
A well-done burger w/ mayo is gray, yet the meat isn't dry, it's more like the texture of Medium ...
 
More importantly, the leftover burgers reheat without getting nasty.
 
If you are going to cook a couple of rounds on the grill to make future meals, the mayo is indispensable IMO ... microwave reheated burgers that have mayo in the mix fare much better.
 
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