• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

My Badass Burrito!

Hey y'all.
 
I love tacos and tortillas in general and some would argue that the burrito is nothing more than a bigass taco.
 
I pity the fool that believes that.
 
The way I see it the good people of Mexico invented it and gave it to us. Muchas gracias.
 
Today the burrito as we know it has evolved from its humble beginnings.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burrito
 
To call it a taco is just wrong. Its bigger. Its badder. It has a shit-ton(official SoFlo measurement) of stuff in it. Taco's are small and dainty. Ever seen a taco the size of a 3 year old toddler's leg?
 
And what does that mean for chile heads and THP?
 
Simple. 
 
You can put a whole lot more of hot stuff in it or serve it up "wet" and on top.
 
And who doesn't like a bigass burrito? NOBODY.
 
Especially peep's that  :high: and you know who you are.
 
So bring it y'all.
 
I want to see a BIGASS BURRITO!
 
Make it  the size of the Alaskan Pipeline.
 
Load the hell out of it.
 
And bring the spiceenescxt!
 
 
Here's what I got.
 
MY BIGASS BURRITO!
 
I got it goin' on with red potato's in olive oil with garlic, onion, and fresno chile.
 

Then I got some other sheeit ready.
 

Then I whooped out a bigass sun dried tomato tortilla and started loading it up. Don't even think of calling it a wrap!
 

 
Get some scheeze on there.
 

 
Now roll that 'thang up. It should be the size of a house cat or a baby's torso.
 

 
You wanna' know what I did next?
 
I microwaved it!
 
Then I cut it in half and mouth fisted it!
 

 
I was full after eating just half of it.
 
But the bigass burrito was ALIVE and talking dirty to me.
 
I HAD to eat it all.
 
Afterwards, I drank another hosky and went to bed.
 
I farted fairy dust and moonbeams in my sleep all night long.
 
 
Now y'all.
 
BRING YOUR BIGASS BURRITO!
 
 
UPDATE.
 
Due to the popularity of the thread I am changing the thread title to My Badass Burrito.
 
Simply to include ALL burrito's, not just BIGASS.
 
 
 
Click to expand...
Not gonna lie, I'm heartbroken we lost page 3 and that sexy looking post and recipe from Scovy along with that tasty looking burrito from Nate. I would love for that recipe of Scovy to be reposted along with the food porn the both of you have been filming.

Did those burritos sign the photo release to be on here?
 
And don't forget SoFlo'S Cubano Steak Burrito! LOL

Here is the Roja sauce recipe for the wet burritos I made. And I will repost the pictures as soon as I am confident they won't get sucked into the wormhole. LOL

¼ C Veg Oil
2 C Chicken Broth
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
4 Tbs Flour
½ C New Mexico Chile powder
1 Tbs Cumin
1 Tbs Garlic powder
1 Tbs Epazote (not required)
1 Tbs Oregano (I use Mexican)
Optional:
Scotch Bonnet & Red Savina Powder as needed
2 tsp Smoked Paprika
2 tsp Chipotle Powder
2 tsp Japone powder
Garlic Salt to taste Black Pepper

Heat Oil and add Flour and New Mexico powder stir for a few minutes then add remaining ingredients and simmer for 15.
 
Ok damn it, here is yesterdays burrito...        AGAIN!  
I'll post todays in a bit.
 
135_zps02c06c51.jpg

 
136_zpsba85e4c4.jpg

 
139_zpsf062c6e3.jpg
 
Sun dried tomato tortilla??  That's a vegan wrap.  So, I fart in your general direction, Sir! 
 
As for rice in a quasi-burrito, it's cheap filler taking the place of the meat which should be there.
 
Wait, I'm not done!  Busch-whizz in a can??  Again, I fart in your general direction, Sir!
 
I also note a decided absence of anything resembling salsa, or pepper sauce.  I suggest you check your Man Card.  It's been stolen.                            
 
Dead smoked Chicken,Manzano Beans. not shown mop for chicken and apricot ginger salsa
 

 
Reasy to go-
 

 

 
Since no pics-recipes
 
DEAD CHICKEN

Rubbed down the day before with a mix of 

1/2 cup Kosher salt
1 cup paprika
1/3 cup each of
thyme
rubbed sage
garlic powder
onion powder
ground bay leaf

1/4 cup ground cloves
1/4 cup Mexican Cinnamon(not the other cinnamon)

To Taste:

Manzano powder 
Cascabell Powder
Habanero powder
Puya powder
Chile negro powder

Mopped with

Stock made with
1 bunch celery-tops etc.
3 bunches mexican green onions
6 carrots
4 grn. peppers
3 onions
2 bulbs roasted garlic
4 bay leaves
1 qt. water
2 dark beers
1/4 cup dry beef boulion
2 cups burgandy wine

Simmer until vegies are mush(couple hours on low heat) , strain and reserve liquid.

To liquid stock add

1 tbsp. rosemary
3tbsp. mex. oregano
3 tbsp. salt
1tsp. mace
1 tsp. cinnamon-mex.
3 tbsp. thyme
2 tbsp. rubbed sage
1/4 oz. allspice
2 tsp. ground cloves
1 tbsp. cumin-ground
1 tbsp. blk. pepper
3 oz. cascabel chiles
5 chile negro chiles
2 tbsp. dark chile powder -( homemade-Ancho,chile negro,cascabel,mex oregano,garlic powder,onion powder )
2 tbsp. paprika
23oz. apple sauce
1 cup dark molasses
1 cup catsup
1/4 cup lemon or lime juice
3 cups dark brown sugar.

Simmer until thick(hour or so on low)

Rub chicken down and let blend overnight in fridge.

Smoke over an oak and hickory fire for 6 -10 hours.
 
Relish/salsa
 
I made over a gal. of this to freeze etc. 
could be canned... You'll need a meat grinder or food processor.

6 sweet yellow bell peppers
6 sweet red peppers
6 lb. jalapino peppers-stemed 
12 golden bullet habaneros -thats all I had 
sad.png

6 orange habaneros -I added a few more after it blended 
smiley.png

2 large red onions 
1 large white onion 
3 whole garlic bulbs 
14 cups raw sugar 
16 boxes dried apricots 
1 1/2-2 qts. apple cider vinegar 
4 packets pectin- optional 
1 ginger 3 in. X 3/4 in root-peeled 

Grind apricots,onion,garlic,ginger and peppers in a meat grinder-fine plate. 
Add vinegar and sugar.Let blend in fridge overnight. Adjust hot pepper amount to desired taste.
Be careful with the ginger.It can take over if you add too much.I start out with the above measurements and add more of whatever I think it needs after it blends overnight.
People say they almost can't stop themselves from digging in and eating it with a spoon.
Good on fish and poultry.Anything really.
I was thinking of making an egg roll filled with shrimp,ham and this relish.

This stuff freezes ok too.

For canning 
bring to a slow boil,add pectin-follow canning instructions on pectin pack for canning.. 


Only add enough ginger so you can barely taste it.After blending overnight it gets a lot stronger tasting. 

recipe calculator for smaller batches 

www.fruitfromwashington.com/R...onversions.php 
 
nate with the busted burrito :woohoo:
 
 
smokemaster that bird looks so good. it would be a honor to roll around in a kiddie pool filled with pulled dead chicken and have you pour broth all over me.    
 
 
i just freaked me out :shocked:
 
Bigass Brekky Burrito!
 
Scrammy's & potato's with black beans, shredded scheeze and a fistful of pickled 'peno's.
 

 
Rolled it up and turned around to get the camera.
 
MAN DOWN!!!!
 
The dang 'thang commited seppuku!
 

 
So what to do with the body?
 
HIDE IT!
 
With a big splooge of sour cream and salsa.
 

 
Ladies and gentlemen, let us begin the autopsy. 
 
One 'thang I noticed.
 
All internal organs, heart, kidneys, lungs, liver, etc. are missing.
 
No wonder it commited hari kari.
 
It was going to die anyway.
 

 
I shall celebrate this burrito by honoring it with a mosta' sacred saki toast.
 
KAMPAI!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top