Tales from the Loo: Chile's Attack!!
- Thread starter texas blues
- Start date
JayT said:
Not a whore. She closed the sex account with the "I do's".
mine was a freak....but also a complete psycho....
....and spent all my money
Mine didn't spend it. She just took it. I was a shell of a man when she was done with me....
Mine decided to leave right after I kicked her ass out.
It was a good day.
It was a good day.
JayT said:
Yep....but wait...I',m too durnunkst.. to post...dammmedn bitche shwe was...
Oh noooo.... got up at three this morning with a stomach cramp....ahhhh had to bolt to the looo quick time my feet ding quick step. Had a pathia curry with fresh chillis in including the seeds(little gi pain causing bliters) and man only just made it i nearly sharted. Had a twenty min appointment with my toilet rubbing my belly sayin there there.:-)) Only to go back to bed then two mins later back again oh noooo help.. haha man i love chillis and i totally forgot to put toilet roll in fridge. Some one pass the prep h qiuck.. I was giving birth haha was all red faced qiuck pass me the nitrous oxide need some analgesia. But all ok this morning apart from red ring. Go on you guy's am i fully in the gang now??
tristam said:Oh noooo.... got up at three this morning with a stomach cramp....ahhhh had to bolt to the looo quick time my feet ding quick step. Had a pathia curry with fresh chillis in including the seeds(little gi pain causing bliters) and man only just made it i nearly sharted. Had a twenty min appointment with my toilet rubbing my belly sayin there there.:-)) Only to go back to bed then two mins later back again oh noooo help.. haha man i love chillis and i totally forgot to put toilet roll in fridge. Some one pass the prep h qiuck.. I was giving birth haha was all red faced qiuck pass me the nitrous oxide need some analgesia. But all ok this morning apart from red ring. Go on you guy's am i fully in the gang now??
That is disgusting. Good enough for me.
This cat might have eaten some habs too.....
JayT said:
Jaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy! You bastard!!
Thought I as safe when leaving the house with mrs. blues when we went to our favorite snacky snack joint, 3 Angry Wives, for brunch. mrs. blues had the chix fingers as usual, and I the chix fried steak sammich with pickled 'penos. Afterward, we headed across the street to REI to find some ragwool gloves for moi. Made the purchase and then...WHAMO!! I looked at mrs. blues and said..." let's go home NOW!! And step on it and don't hit any bumps or potholes!" The whole way she's looking at me funny..."knock it off! I'm having a situation here...." Sweat was dripping down the side of my neck and forehead. We screeched into the driveway at mach 1.7 and I hauled ass into the house, ripping clothes off and tossing them along the way.
I just made it ya'll! And a good 'thang too! The thunder and fury that was unleashed was truly epic in proportion. Sparks were flyin' everywhere as I sat there in The Blues Shitter contemplating my fate as wave after wave of chocolate Mount St. Helens fire blew through me. My pee was burning H3O atomic heavy water much like pissing pure battery acid. The stench was so awful, blues dawg missylou was whimpering on the other side of the door.
Finally it was over. i know I ate around 40 pequins and a couple of 'penos yesterday but didn't think they had the firepower to do what they did. They're pretty small, but even Mother Teresa herself would have kicked me in the groin had she had to follow my act in The Blues Shitter.
Morale of the story....hell hath no fury like little taken for granted pequins. Be afraid....be very afraid!
I just made it ya'll! And a good 'thang too! The thunder and fury that was unleashed was truly epic in proportion. Sparks were flyin' everywhere as I sat there in The Blues Shitter contemplating my fate as wave after wave of chocolate Mount St. Helens fire blew through me. My pee was burning H3O atomic heavy water much like pissing pure battery acid. The stench was so awful, blues dawg missylou was whimpering on the other side of the door.
Finally it was over. i know I ate around 40 pequins and a couple of 'penos yesterday but didn't think they had the firepower to do what they did. They're pretty small, but even Mother Teresa herself would have kicked me in the groin had she had to follow my act in The Blues Shitter.
Morale of the story....hell hath no fury like little taken for granted pequins. Be afraid....be very afraid!
I thought it only appropriate to bring this thread back to the new posts as I plan on spending some time here for the next day. I have eaten jalapenos, habs, a naga morich, and a bhut jolokia today. I ate sauces, powders, and poppers. Right now my stomach is churning and I am sweating from my face even though it has been nearly an hour since I ate anything of the sort. I have made several trips to the bathroom already tonight and things are not good. I truly love everything pepper, but it doesn't always love me back. Cruel mistress. I do not anticipate a restful night's sleep.
JayT said:
Sounds like you'll be redoing the bathroom. In your case I recommend NOMEX fireproof fabric top to bottom. Same stuff used in fireproof suits for race car drivers.
texas blues said:
Man.......You should and MUST know when to stop.Remember that your Mouth eats only once but Asshole vomits many times. And that too with devastating effect.
NJA
Naga Jolokia Addict said:
Now I'm going to have to drink till THAT image fades from my mind.....
bwahahahaha...you should have told me that the night I overserved myself with tequila and 20 or so hab poppers! Lit me up like a pinball machine on 220v.