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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
You know, cooking and using the sauces sent to me to try them out before doing the official reviews? I call that research. Call off the dogs.
 
Im drunker than I should be, but not as drunk as I'm gonna be.

Been searching for the best pan con lechon.
Might have done made it myself.
Drank a bunch of Jim beam.
f**k I don't know what's in the sandwich.
Look for an edit tomorrow.
Happy 4th!

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That looks killer!

We broke in the Cameron stove-top smoker and finished some sous vide chicken w/ a chocolate scorpion from Baker's that made Danielle cry. Also, moar cake shots ...

The Cameron is perfect to finish sous vide chx!

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Heyy everyone!
This thread is inspirational. Made me want to step up my drunken game. I wanted to post this earlier but do not have internet access at home, so had to wait for a computer is internet to get this posted.
I am by no mean a chef nor do I even know what I am doing for the most part. I just sort of wing it as I go.
I had some left over serloin from the 4th, so on this past Friday after getting out of work a bit early leaving plenty of evening left for drankin, I dreamed of cooking up that serloin into STEAK TACOS! Yeahhh... We drunks love tacos!
I had to go to the grocery store for only a few things, as I had most on hand already. While there I forgot a very important part of the taco. I forgot the shells
Luckily I had some corn tortilla chips at home, so I improvised and made steak taco salad! Yeahhh was it delicious!
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Trip to the grocery store fer the few items
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Now that I got that no taco shell problem figured out, time to start the preppin and cookin!
The left over serloin as left uneaten...
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After choppin some onion and cuttin dat steakness!
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The Jalapeno is fresh from the garden. They are really small.
Now the oil, and onion cooked, and added jalapeno and garlic to the pot. Then finally..
Where's the beef!?..... Oh there it is...
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Gathering my seasonings! (was a picture here but there is a damn limit :crazy:

Garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, crushed red pepper, salt, black pepper, cumin, chili powder..

Spices added to the pot! The only hotness I have on hand is crushed red pepper and cayenne. So I was generous with the two.
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From start to this point a few beers were consumed, and like a fat chick in the bar this plate starts looking better and better!
My fully cooked beefness
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Time to prep the salad!
Layer of chips! Then cheese. Then beef and THEN MORE CHEESE
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My friends, this next image you're about to see may shock and awe you. It will change you're life...
On top of the beef I added some chopped romain, chopped tomato, onion, green onion from the garden, sour cream, delicous taco bell chipoltle sauce and of course the only hot sauce I own (
Louisiana.) And i'm not bragging that point. Its a cry for help.
sliced jalapeno, and some cut up avacado perfection!

Final product!!!
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I keep replaying this meal in my brain over and over...
 
Good for YOU! I've always considered the ability to improvise in the kitchen, a sign of a great cook! You rocked it!

Keep DCin' and don't forget to share with us!!! :)
 
After finding out I needed a new thermostat in the 1.8t ($599), and that I should take care of the water pump and timing belt along with it ($1200), I decided to have the chipping and diverter valve done (so it wasn't all suck and no fun) and have some celebratory cake shots as per the norm in these parts ... we had a couple ea and made a nice curry w/ peppers ... it's summer, so we eat it like a salad instead of w/ rice ... it's a lot healthier, too.

Do NOT skimp on doing the water pump and timing belt on your Jetta/Golf/GTI/A4/Passat. The 1.8T is an interference engine, so if that belt breaks, you can kiss your valves (at least) goodbye. Whatever diverter valve you go with, make sure it's recirculating and not a blow off style.

Curry looks good man.
 
IDF, your first post is in the top 5 of my weird shit-o-meter 1st posts.

Welcome.
Thanks. It's nice to come out of the gate swinging and be called weird by a guy that names his cast iron pans.

Don't worry, I've been lurking here for a while, just haven't had the initiative to sign up. Drinking and cooking hot shit is right up my alley, so I'll post up some pics occasionally.
 
Do NOT skimp on doing the water pump and timing belt on your Jetta/Golf/GTI/A4/Passat. The 1.8T is an interference engine, so if that belt breaks, you can kiss your valves (at least) goodbye. Whatever diverter valve you go with, make sure it's recirculating and not a blow off style.

Curry looks good man.

i did it and welcome ... will have to ask about the diverter type, but it's in so ...
 
Thanks. It's nice to come out of the gate swinging and be called weird by a guy that names his cast iron pans.

Don't worry, I've been lurking here for a while, just haven't had the initiative to sign up. Drinking and cooking hot shit is right up my alley, so I'll post up some pics occasionally.

Thousands of posts about drunken cooking and you post about automobiles for your first post.

I do believe you'll fit right in here.

Feel free to post pics of your liquor cabinet.

We like pics.

And drunken chef posts.
 
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