The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[Chile Juju]

And Ambien Chef posts!!!!

 

[idrivefast]

Thousands of posts about drunken cooking and you post about automobiles for your first post.

I do believe you'll fit right in here.

Feel free to post pics of your liquor cabinet.

We like pics.

And drunken chef posts.

Unfortunately I have to restock the supply, as I'm pretty much out at the moment. Luckily there are seven bars within a two block walk of my place, so it's not a big deal. You can't throw a rock without hitting a place running a happy hour. It's great.

Here's some tri tip I grilled up recently. Sorry for the lack of booze in the pics, I took 'em before signing up. It's pretty hard to find around the Midwest, so you gotta cherish it when you can find it. It went indirect on the Weber until about 120* IT (about 25-30 min), then seared for a couple of minutes. Pulled off, rested for 20 min, and sliced.

Fresh from the store:

Rubbed with Simply Marvelous Peppered Cow, about to go on the grill:

Buddy slicing it while I shoot food porn:

Bam (it's a solid rare-to-barely-medium-rare, the color is just washed out in the pic):

 

[kibaumm]

WOW
nice meat!!
but... this is drunken chef!! where is the booze? no alcohol??

 

[idrivefast]

WOW
nice meat!!
but... this is drunken chef!! where is the booze? no alcohol??

Read my post above. Pics were taken before I signed up so I didn't have the 'booze requirement' in mind at the time. Rest assured I was about six beers deep by the end of that grilling session.

Don't worry, any new pics I take will meet the Holy Booze Requirement.

 

[Scovie]

License and registration please.

"Aw officer, I got this car before I got my drivers liscense."

Well you know I'm going to have to cite you.

"i promise, next time I will have my drivers liscence"

Ok son, but this is a warning, don't do it again.

Hahahahahaha IDF, we do a lot of drunken stoopidebauchery here, but no booze in pics is the only very serious offense.
C'mon, it's BOOZE!
Since TB hasn't booo'd you yet, i think you'll get off with just a warning...


Oh yeah! Beautiful Meat, them pictures show the donenessess just fine, rare to barely med/r is what it looks like to me. I would have turned it 90° and sliced it, that's just me.
Awesome.

 

[Chile Juju]

IDF - let's call this post your one and only "free pass"!

Anyone that says they were "6 beers deep", most likely was....so I'm totally trustin' ya!!!!

Your post made me think up a new country song title tho! "I Like My Meat Bloody and My Beer Cold"!!!! Could be a catchy li'l tune! hahahahaha

Welcome to DC IDF - I think you're gonna like it here!!!!! WHOOT!

 

[HigherThisHeat]

Unfortunately I have to restock the supply, as I'm pretty much out at the moment. Luckily there are seven bars within a two block walk of my place, so it's not a big deal. You can't throw a rock without hitting a place running a happy hour. It's great.

Here's some tri tip I grilled up recently. Sorry for the lack of booze in the pics, I took 'em before signing up. It's pretty hard to find around the Midwest, so you gotta cherish it when you can find it. It went indirect on the Weber until about 120* IT (about 25-30 min), then seared for a couple of minutes. Pulled off, rested for 20 min, and sliced.

Fresh from the store:

Rubbed with Simply Marvelous Peppered Cow, about to go on the grill:

Buddy slicing it while I shoot food porn:

Bam (it's a solid rare-to-barely-medium-rare, the color is just washed out in the pic):

I would make sweet sweet love to that meat!

 

[Scovie]

I would make sweet sweet love to that meat!

FYI, it isn't necessary to quote the entire post, unless it was a few pages back.
You can also quote, and then edit the quoted post down to just one picture.
It just saves scrolling thru multiple posts of the same thing.
No big deal bro, just thought I'd letcha know...

 

[idrivefast]

Oh yeah! Beautiful Meat, them pictures show the donenessess just fine, rare to barely med/r is what it looks like to me. I would have turned it 90° and sliced it, that's just me.

So against the grain? Is that the common way of slicing tri tip? Like I said above, it's a pretty uncommon cut in the midwest, so I don't have much experience with it. This was probably only the 3rd or 4th time I've grilled it. The cut wasn't a big deal because the pieces were later sliced in half, and then we made sandwiches with grilled onions and a homemade chipotle mayo sauce. Absolutely killer.

I have seen the light with tri tip though. Oddly enough Costco is one of the few places in the area that regularly stocks tri tip, so I'll probably have to bite the bullet and get a membership there.

 

[Justaguy]

AHHHHHHHHH shuddup Scovie and grab another I have a few for you here. Hiccup!

Edit: j/k

 

[Scovie]

Nice IDF, I'm glad you didn't take offense to all my other drivel. Hahahaha
Nothing wrong with how you sliced it, but typically with any cut (tri tip, london broil, flank steak, etc.) you want the grain to be as short as possible. With the perfect doneness of your meat, it would have been hard to handle without it falling apart.

We aren't members of Costco, (75 miles away) but we have friends that are, and they do have awesome beef. Thick TBones,
Rib Steaks, rich in flavor. Go for it!

JAG, sounds like your three day weekend is off to one heeluva good start!

Shuuuuuuddduuuuuuupppp.

 

[sicman]

idf, that looks great i would eat all of that.

 

[idrivefast]

No worries, amigo. Believe me, this is by far one of the tamer forums I frequent. So no offense taken.

I get what you're saying about the grain. Weather permitting I'll probably grill tomorrow night again up at my buddy's place, so I'll bring along the camera and see what happens.

Costco does have a good meat selection. There's one about 5 miles from my place, and I used to be a member, I just let the membership lapse. They carry prime steaks for a pretty reasonable price, along with some other stuff that I like to grill or smoke so I may have to bite the bullet and re-up. Fortunately there is a fantastic butcher shop a few miles away that treats me very well (best ribeyes I've ever had), so I can make do in the meantime.

So what are people cookin' up this weekend?

 

[Scovie]

Yeah man pics! And booze, lol awesome you have to place for killer meat. They'll custom what whatever you want.
2" thick ribeyes come to mind...

As far as I know, we're all hangin out in the Sandwich of the month thread cookin up Cuban Sandwiches.
Join us.

 

[grantmichaels]

So, the other night we rocked out some 'curry' using the butter chicken curry (in a jar) and a red 7 pot and a pair of datil from Rich in St. Augustine ...

We had a couple three or four rounds of chocolate cake shots throughout ...

Despite the buzz which preceded eating, the meal came out particularly well I must say ...

I'm starting to get a little embarrassed that we tend to paper plates all the time, but nobody here wants to do more dishes than necessary during the week ...

 

[Scovie]

Holy crap, I would NOT need a fork.
I would motorboat that plate with my face! Damm that looks awesome.

Curious tho... Your glasses are always full..... hmm...

 

[Chile Juju]

Oh Jeeeeeezzzzz!!!!! That looks incredible! Dang you and your mouth-watering meals Grant!
Seriously - that dish is rockin' my boat!!! What is this "butter chicken curry" of which you speak?! I need to find some of THAT!!!!

and is that...Basmati Rice?! Lawd a'mercy!!!!!

 

[grantmichaels]

Holy crap, I would NOT need a fork.
I would motorboat that plate with my face! Damm that looks awesome.

Curious tho... Your glasses are always full..... hmm...

Don't fret, we're getting drunk and cooking madras curry tonight and for a change, drinking something new ... shocker, I know ...

I'll share the ingredient snap now, I guess ... already on our 2nd mixer ... planning for it to get ugly ...

 

[Scovie]

Just wash your floors real good, and you'll be good to go.

One day, I will not mention it anymore. Hahahahahaha

 

[grantmichaels]

Just wash your floors real good, and you'll be good to go.

One day, I will not mention it anymore. Hahahahahaha

Alright dude, just this once, I'll substantiate the drankin' for yo ass ...

On the first, having some humus ...

Nearing completion of my 2nd, I found the zest suspension fascinating, so ...

We decided the 3rd could use some powdered sugar and raspberry lemonade, so I made a helluva production, and ...

The 7 pots and garlic are starting to smell up the house ...

The tedious shit is done ...

And I once again find myself fascinated by the suspended lemon zest at my desk uploading to photobucket ...

Sitting in my favorite place on earth, between a pair of studio monitors ... presently listening to Blue October - Foiled ... and plotting to park my frigate in the harbor a little while after curry ...

Look at the floor, sparklin' just in case <g>