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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Blow Torched Buns!!!!! BWaaaaHHaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I love this much more???????

Time to pull this together in a white american pasteurized cheese food sticky mess ...

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the santoku is out, so ...

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and then this ...

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goes in ...

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this is not your mom's brulee ...

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since we're being piggy tonight, we're rocking a pair a piece ... yes, really ... using the cheese as a barrier to keep the onion rolls from getting soggy ...

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yeah, so ...

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and finally, not the best profile, but ...

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Hell yea, bustin out the blowtorch!
Looks great grant!

So I got to do FaceTime last night with scovie, cj, salsalady, featuring Wheebz on speakerphone.
It was a great time, and we drank lots of hhhwiskey.
Then we did something stupid.
Scovie and I decided to do a couple of drops of "pure evil" right on the tongue,
on FaceTime so we could all see each other squirm.

Pure evil is pure awesome, but what we did was pure dumb.
Can't wait to do it again! Sum's turn!
 
Awwooohhh mah gawd.
What happened? I dunno.....
Wheebz bringin tacos to the Beam party. Looks awesome. I want them, now.
GM, damm bro, that beef must have gone thru a strict "no pink slime here" inspection process to look that purty! LOL

About last night

Two words...

Pure Evil
Pickled Pickles
FaceTime
Hhwhiskey drunk
Weebz laughing
Cubano Sammiches
SalsaLady (gave me) egg titty tattoo
Grill and Cast Iron
White Guayabera
Hot Summer nights
Friggen fun

Pics later...
 
Hell yea, bustin out the blowtorch!
Looks great grant!

So I got to do FaceTime last night with scovie, cj, salsalady, featuring Wheebz on speakerphone.
It was a great time, and we drank lots of hhhwiskey.
Then we did something stupid.
Scovie and I decided to do a couple of drops of "pure evil" right on the tongue,
on FaceTime so we could all see each other squirm.

Pure evil is pure awesome, but what we did was pure dumb.
Can't wait to do it again! Sum's turn!

wow ... that sounds unpleasant!

after i get my work done, imma look back at some of your posts from the past cause what i have seen looks good ;)

my buddy's a dentist on n. mia beach, so i come 1-2x/yr for 'work' and usually make a wknd of it ... will def let all the SoFlo peeps know!

 
GM, damm bro, that beef must have gone thru a strict "no pink slime here" inspection process to look that purty! LOL

it's just a quarter section of a grass-fed, hormone-free top sirloin from Morton's ... cooked sous vide for a couple two or three hours at 131F and then sliced ... it's more pasteurized than cooked, i guess you could say ...
 
So I got to do FaceTime last night with scovie, cj, salsalady, featuring Wheebz on speakerphone.
It was a great time, and we drank lots of hhhwiskey.
Then we did something stupid.
Scovie and I decided to do a couple of drops of "pure evil" right on the tongue,
on FaceTime so we could all see each other squirm.

this inspired an idea ... i've been tinkering w/ near-realtime tech lately and i think i could whip up a single-page app that allows party-line style a/v in the modern browsers ...

i'm pretty sure you can already have this via google+ hangouts tbh, but maybe i'll do it myself anyways since i've got at least one fun twist in mind ... letting the audience take instant snaps during the video feed of people eating super's =) ...

hmmm ...
 
So you're a Wizard type. Cool. Sounds like fun. I wish Mac's FaceTime would allow multiple conversations at once.
My Grandfather is probably rolling over in his grave. He was one of those that believed they never actually landed on the moon.
Talk to someone across the country while walking around your house wirelessly with and iPad? yep... he's rolling over...
 
Looks possible, and there's some components already out there in the open-source world to get it going quickly ... I just might ...

Oh, and ... you know I mean business when I graduate to the McDonald's straw ... too bad the bottle of Caravello is empty now, though, so these are finito ...

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Seriously squatting on this thread this weekend ... juice been flowin' ...

2 kitchens to go as far as work is concerned, so we're baking some white brats w/ mini-bells and onions and making hummus from scratch ...

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Love me some Brats!
You got Naan bread for the Humus Maxumus? Yummmmmmm

Squat away...

Don't have naan handy, however, the hummus is for tomorrow so you never know!

I wrapped my work, I put this cocktail away, and I'm off to the recliners to watch some Food Network and TMZ until rest consumes me ...

Pretty kickin' hummus, now chillin' in the fridge ...

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And finally, dinner sammy ... not super hot, quite pleasantly ... and for good reason, too, since I purchased 3x SFRB's of supers from some different folks earlier today and it's likely going to get hot later this week ...

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Peace, I'm out ... this made me laugh when I saw it ...

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Wheebz, wheebz, wheebz...

Incomplete Homework, try again. The food bit looks tasty.
You're just three party hats short of a party.
 
WTF Wheebz!? Are those skins top secret, or you just didn't feel like using your words tonight?!?!

How'm I supposed to learn from the masters if the masters won't talk?! hahahahahahaha


;)
 
they are actually twice baked potatoes topped with skin toppings

I just saw a recipe for those in our cookbook the other day, and my wife was talking about making some. I think seeing yours has officially sealed the deal for us. I must have some twice baked taters.
 
My Jetta tdi timing belt water pump coming up... Yup $1200. Datils or bhut in Trinidad pork stew? I don't want to ruin it. im making pdreadys recipe from the other thread.

My Jetta tdi timing belt water pump coming up... Yup $1200. Datils or bhut in Trinidad pork stew? I don't want to ruin it. im making pdreadys recipe from the other thread.

Sorry can't edit from the phone I guess. Should say datil or naga morich now that I double checked. Maybe neither, just japs?
 
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