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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
I'm not feeling so loquacious, but ...

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and some more ...

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lots of crust tonight ...

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and moving on to harder stuff, the tumbler says it all ...

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did a little shopping tonight, too ... going to pressure cook some boston butt in the near future <g>
 
And I think he owns almost ever kitchen gadget known to the human race!!!!!!! :rofl:

Seriously GM - it cracks me up how many times you have me Googling gadgets you use and talk about!!!!!!! You're like a really fun 'Sur La Table'!!!!!!!
 
And I think he owns almost ever kitchen gadget known to the human race!!!!!!! :rofl:

Seriously GM - it cracks me up how many times you have me Googling gadgets you use and talk about!!!!!!! You're like a really fun 'Sur La Table'!!!!!!!

The kitchen is def not exempt from the "right tool for the job" saying ... i enjoy doing things, w/ the proper tools.
 
SO this one isn't hot or drunk... sorry, but I thought I would share this adventure.

Okay okay okay, there was some wine involved.
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So me and the wifey poo decided to try and make our own ravioli. I've been making my own tomato sauce for a few years and we both wanted to give the full "home made" thing a try. (we are in training for a weekend cook-off this fall). We didn't choose the right flour, so the dough was super elastic!!! My abs, arms, and hands are killing me today from trying to roll this sh*T out. We filled with with a pretty basic meat filling - sirloin, green onion, garlic, salt, pepper.
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So the end product was very tasty, very filling, and very BIG!!! Our dough was way too thick, but I cooked it extra long and they turned out okay, just big. Here is a pic with my iPhone for reference.
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We're on a mission to try again and fix the mistakes, but it was a fun night and a yummy meal. Next up is some homemade pizza and a killer curry. That'll be next week :)
 
I keep googling THAT type of gadget on the internet ALL the time too :lol:

I don't know exactly how you attract them, but working 55-60 hrs/week and dedicating whatever time is left to them is definitely helpful if you want them to stick around ...

I hope Sum or FD or Sic or that gringo TB displays a fine DC frita cubana sooner than later ...

I've not had one so I don't know what to base one on (and TB banned all things burger from the SOTM thread) ... sheeeet ...
 
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