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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
No I did not. I have been using the fry toss bake toss thing for quite a while. It cooks the sauce into the wings. Magic Bullet: much more useful than magic eightball
 
I like that method too. and finish it with the sauce out of the oven as you did.

I am this :holdsupfingersclosetogether: close to calling up the Antler's Saloon and ordering up some wings.
 
Wanna know the best part? Those wings were reduced gotta sell by today priced at $3.50 for the whole shebang. I am a bargain shopper! I smelled 'em and washed them when I got home and they were just fine. Gotta love a deal like that.
 
Oh hell yes. I don't get weird about sale dates like some people.

Our store has a freezer section where they throw meat that is nearing the sale date.

Always worth a look.
 
Wanna know the best part? Those wings were reduced gotta sell by today priced at $3.50 for the whole shebang. I am a bargain shopper! I smelled 'em and washed them when I got home and they were just fine. Gotta love a deal like that.

I bought some stuff on "Managers Special" once.

Just once.

And I never buy fish on Sunday.
 
I can't recommend CC's Bolita Brown enough!

Yum. One of the best beers evar ...

I have to warn you, this DC post get soppy and ends with D's back turned ...

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Seriously, like a grown child.

Anyways ... "Put me in coach!" ...

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Meanwhile ... on another counter ...

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Smoked and pickled machine-gun jalanaise ... you only think you want to know about the corn machine gun, trust me ...

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Many minutes pass, but eventually Patty joins the partay ...

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I kept the time deliberately short, having a lot of trouble believing many organisms can flourish within vacuum sealed meat transitioning from frozen to griddle-seared over the course of but a couple of hours ...

I put the cheese on the bottom to manage the blood run off ...

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And fastidiously wicked it w/ a paper towel while the beef rested, purging ...

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Hoof to moof, motherf**ker ...

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Killer.
 
It's a blank slate, it works just fine. It's genuinely blank though, and I think I'll plop a couple of drops of wor sauce on top next time I do one up ...

I like to cook full on on the regular, but I totally dig a short cut that passes - however barely ...
 
So... you didn't answer me, is it worth the money for the kobe? And how much was it?

i answered, it's out there in some thread ...

two per pack, ea 8 oz, ea $3 ...

it's the best frozen beef i've ever had, we'll keep them as a low carb, quick fix ...

Corn on a pre made Patty? You sir must be drunk.

I'll take two helpings of the Jalanaise tho, hold the corn. lol

not as good as jala ranch, though ... i need to learn how to turn the buttermilk i dumped making butter from hwc into ranch ...

anyone know the minimum base ingredients for a 'ranch' ?
 
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