The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[chilehunter]

Proof Of Life ????

You got it!

the only thing I could think of was Plate Of Love

 

[chilehunter]

so I am all moved into my apartment here in Chicago

I literally do not have a counter top

I have a feeling I am not going to be cooking very much of anything

thats plenty to make any type of meal. I had less to work with for 1.5 yrs in a motel, had the same size fridge & microwave & my sink was the bathroom sink I cooked in a CI skillet on a hot plate or grilled on a little travel size grill.
I'm assuming you'll have a table use that &/or get a big cutting board that fits over the sink.

And the plate:

Bonus points if you can correctly name the TMNT represented on the shot glass.

thats a fine meal ya made there Geeme! but why do you have a TMNT shotglass ?

 

[Wasatch]

Looks very tasty geeme.

 

[geeme]

thats a fine meal ya made there Geeme! but why do you have a TMNT shotglass ?

Well, you could easily have asked why I have all four shot glasses - Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Leonardo..... not to mention several versions of the action figures. and a video of the movie.

 

[paulky_2000]

My shotglass has a Redskins helmet on it.....

Like that's a big surprise....

 

[chilehunter]

Well, you could easily have asked why I have all four shot glasses - Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Leonardo..... not to mention several versions of the action figures. and a video of the movie.

well I guess you really like TMNT

 

[tinsmith]

Still havent quite figured it out yet have you ?

TinSmith Fail

Oh ya...I see it next to Old Milwaukee & other high end beers.

 

[texas blues]

I just realized....wheebz..kitchen shot with Cuervo bottle....FAIL! Caramel colored less than tequila tequila from a bar owner. DOUBLE FAIL! Jay...are you gonna' let that slide?

 

[geeme]

Hmm... you're talking to the guy who has been abducted by aliens AGAIN. Says he's gonna post pics of tenderloin, then nada for two days. Says he's gonna post in the TD and nada. Damn aliens.....

 

[paulky_2000]

Oh ya...I see it next to Old Milwaukee & other high end beers.

aul looks around for the SMITE button.:

 

[wheebz]

I just realized....wheebz..kitchen shot with Cuervo bottle....FAIL! Caramel colored less than tequila tequila from a bar owner. DOUBLE FAIL! Jay...are you gonna' let that slide?

Hey man, it was on sale for 23 dollars a bottle

I spend 530 dollars on beer in the past 2 days, I had to cut corners somewhere.

And I am not a bar owner, just the manager of one, well used to be until I came here to Chicago.

 

[paulky_2000]

If I owned my own bar, I'd never go home.

 

[JayT]

TB, I am going to give him a pass on this one since I do know him to drink good tequila and good beer most of the time. Maybe the previous tenant left it? But Wheebz, you are on notice. We are watching you Norton!

Geeme, had a very hectic weekend. TD just wasn't in the cards this time. I am going to post my entry here though as I am still going to make it.

 

[geeme]

Awwww, Jay, you know I'm just ribbin' ya. Not like I have any fingers to point, since I didn't do a TD entry, either......

 

[salsalady]

Hey, anyone wanna see some skin?!??


Gather together the tools of passion, anticipating the joy that is soon to be.

Preparing the bath. Relax, it will be wonderful! You know the body has been destined for this, it's only a matter of time before the body and the brine are joined together in salty bliss. (sea salt brine, lime zest, chiles, garlic, oregano, lime juice, pineapple juice concentrate) Slowly build up the heat until the brine is on the brink of boiling. Then pull back the heat. Cool with more cold water, you don't want the body to get too hot too soon.

Next, rid the body of all excess trimmings, get down to the naked beauty of skin and meat. Don't be shy, enjoy looking at the beautiful specimen!

Now, slowly immerse the body into the salty goodness. Gently swirl it all around, inside and out, making sure the spices caress every nook and cranny. Then plunge it deeper and deeper, until the whole body is lost under the weight of a bowl, drowning with seasonings.

After 8 hours of chilled briny bliss, gently dry the skin and thoroughly massage the skin with olive oil. Slowly, rubbing back and forth, the glistening skin over the relaxed muscles, full of flavor and heat, prepared for it's final fiery explosion. Dust with red hot passion peppers and then push it over the brink into the blazing inferno of the oven.

Aaaahhhh!

WOW! That was good!

 

[JayT]

Lookin' GOOOD SL.

 

[LUCKYDOG]

There was food in that - I got caught up in reading

 

[paulky_2000]

Nekked chicks.......

 

[midwestchilehead]

Good looking bird, SL. How did it taste?

 

[salsalady]

midwest, it tasted AWESOME! The brine got the flavors into the meat and it was some of the juiciest chicken we'd had. The recipe (which I sort of followed) was in Sunset Magazine last month. And the skin was the best crispy skin....Ohhh, YEA Baby!

This was a first attempt at brining, and it got 6 thumbs up from us.

The original recipe is here, but I didn't follow that recipe, just used it as a guide.
http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=50400000109848