The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[JayT]

Dr. Bear? Oh this has to be a good one.

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

My next post is in the making. 6 sammys down so far, easily im using a glass that holds atleast two. couple shots of tequila cuz it was next to the spinach in the fridge. chicken, spinach, habs, jalapenos, oinons, leftover penne, butter, garlic, chicken and booze and prob a mess is my future. Pictures and what not up tommorow.

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

Def got my drink on last night, besides a small burn and almost losing a toe to a kamikaze santoku knive i did pretty good. Things didnt get that interesting until i found a bottle of tequila in the freezer with the veggies and had some of that with my beers.

Had some chicken marinated in puree peaches, habs, honey, and some bourbon that I made sunday night when I was tippin beers.
Browned that up in a pan, then sauteed up some oinons, habaneros,jalapenos, spinach, garlic and butter. mixed in some leftover penne and the chicken and let it all cook together for about 15mins, put on some fresh parm and it was good to go.

on a non spicy side note, made my girl some baked mac n cheese with ham and broccoli at the same time.

 

[texas blues]

spanky, you're doin' it hot blue and righteous amigo. Thasa' great post senor! I'd eat that out of a pig trough. Please continue to do your 'thang right here in DC.

Salute'!

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

spanky, you're doin' it hot blue and righteous amigo. Thasa' great post senor! I'd eat that out of a pig trough. Please continue to do your 'thang right here in DC.

Salute'!

I dont believe in (traditionally) pretty food. I do believe in shots and beers and all the goodness that comes from cooking and enjoying them. Thanks Mr Blues!!

 

[Greg H]

Looks pretty to me, spanky.

 

[Fraggin Wagon]

Bangin'. Even the design on the plates accentuates the dish... are you sure you were drunk?

 

[texas blues]

I dont believe in (traditionally) pretty food. I do believe in shots and beers and all the goodness that comes from cooking and enjoying them. Thanks Mr Blues!!

Call me TB compadre. I see a future for you in this thread. Bring your mojo.

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

Call me TB compadre. I see a future for you in this thread. Bring your mojo.

Enabler

 

[SumOfMyBits]

Call me TB compadre. I see a future for you in this thread. Bring your mojo.

Enabler

HA! Bring more cheap beer!

Get your SoFlo on!

 

[JayT]

I predict a very long drunkien weekend filled with more bbq than you can eat, KEGS of cheap beer, a fish pond, and drunken scooter racing. Should be fun. Maybe Bear will show up.

True story.

 

[spankyswrekdagn]

HA! Bring more cheap beer!

Get your SoFlo on!

Sam Adams is as cheap as I get, I do have standards. Besides today is Sat and I have a bottle of wild turkey thats callin my name.

 

[RocketMan]

The bad news is my wife's grandmother passed away and we're headed up to Atlanta so, I dont have time to do the shopping to do the TD. But I already have the stuff for dinner tonight and we are defiantly going to be tying one on and so here is Boeuf Bourguignon or French Drunkin Beef a la RocketMan. The French have their way but mine starts with the cast iron.
The Players:

Brown 4 slices, cut up, bacon

Remove Bacon and add 4 Tbs of Butter and a pack or mushrooms

Then the Pearl onions

Now to brown the beef. Dredge in flour with some salt and pepper and add half to the CI and brown.
First half

Second half

Now we put everything into the crock pot Layering it as Meat, Mushrooms and Onions, Fresh Thyme, Sage and Bay Leaves

Then the second layer of meat

Deglaze the Ci and add to Crock put

Put on the lid and allow to get happy for 4 to 6 hours

More later when it ready to prep for serving.

 

[RocketMan]

And now the dinner shot.

It was really tasty and the Dogfish Head Hot Sauce was a perfect addition. The simple salad of Baby Spinnch with thin sliced red apples and some swiss cheese was perfect. Mixed a little red wine vinegar with EVOO and some Dijon Mustard to top it with.

Cheers
RM

 

[frydad4]

Damn RM!!! Looks awesome. A meal fit for a king!!! Comforty foods like that are so damn good when you got a good wine buzz going!!!

Points for bringing the CI to the game! More points for busting out the home made hot sauce!! Nice job! I think I got a bottle of that lying around here somewhere...hmmm....

FD

 

[geeme]

SUWEEEET, RM!

Sorry to hear about your wife's grandmother.

 

[salsalady]

Hey RM, it was a dutchy day, amigo.


Nice job on the beef. Your's went across the pond to France, mine went south-of-the-border with a Chile Colorado.




Simple ingredients-
beef roast, dried chiles, onion, beef broth,

Cooking double duty today; dredged beef pieces in the CI, cannellini beans for the TD in the little pot, dried chiles brought to simmer and then soaking in the upper right pot, more beef chunks waiting for the CI in the bowl.

Fry all the beef pieces , set aside. Put soaked chiles in a blender or food processor and whirl away. Press through seive or strainer to remove seeds and large skin pieces. Saute onions and garlic in CI, return chile pulp and beef to CI and it looks something like this~

Add some spices and beef broth and it looks like -

all set to simmer away and get all happy, happy, happy!





Now, I must break away from the normal drunken food ramblings with a little bit of truth about what happened next.

As I said, today i was cooking double duty for the TD and for an evening get-together with friends. All of this prep and cooking was taking place this morning. I finished up the TD plating around 1:00 and we ate the chicken parm and alfredo for lunch. I went back out to the kitchen to make one last check on the Chile Colorado before leaving it to simmer for a while. I had it in the big heavy cast iron dutch oven, on the propane stove, on the lowest setting of the smallest burner. Came in the house, did some stuff, had a glass of wine, went out about an hour later and when I opened the door to the kitchen....I could smell trouble!


BURNT! I checked it, and tasted it, and the top food did not taste burnt. So I carefully took out the top layer of beef chunks and then tried to scrape the rest of it out with a metal turner.

OH WELL! doo-doo- occurs, so I re-seasoned the beef and off to the neighbor's we went!



CHICKEN MOLE! Made by Scoville Deville....and it was AWESOME!

My yucky beef in the front left pot, terrific chicken enchiladas (made by Erin) in the back casserole and some beans (also by Erin).

Put it all on a plate with some cabbage salsa and rice with a mango margarita in the cup and here's what you get-

Tortillas on the table, and watermelon with a squeeze of fresh lime and a sprinkle of cayenne and some other spice (by Scoville Deville) oh yea-

and for dessert, some fresh made mango frozen yogurt (also made by Erin)
(ps, the frozen mango yogurt wasn't very good...can you tell? )

 

[salsalady]

spanky, that's some great looking chicken and penne! I could eat that stuff all day long~

 

[RocketMan]

Ya know I'm begining to think theres a cook book ready to be published somewhere in this drunkin thread!

Great looking chow there SL, would you pass the tortillas por favor?

 

[Pablo_h]

It must be slow cooked beef day. I had chuck steak with beef stock, onion, herbs and 2 cups of guinness stout cooked for 8 hrs, served with pasta, peas and broccoli.