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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
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Had a burger for linner today. A place in town we really like called hamburgerseria (assume owners serian?) The meat has a really great taste and buns always taste fresh. I usually get the ohare burger, which is a dumb name for mushrooms and swiss. They serve a "burger sauce" that from what i've been able to deduce is a mayo with mustard and horseraddish. Tastes pretty good, especially with a basket of fries.  
 
Only a touch of ketchup, catsup? Added. No mustard because I absolutly loath mustard, I also loath mayo (I'd rather barf on my burger and eat it!.

Yes, I also hate bloody meat and love medium-well!!!

Go ahead and grill me, but that's hows I love it and it was damn tasty :-).

BTW... You guys make awesome food! Aaaaannnddd, texas blues.. you are a riot! Reading all your posts make me laugh my starhole off!!! Hahaha keep it up sir!
 
sevenstrings said:
Only a touch of ketchup, catsup? Added. No mustard because I absolutly loath mustard, I also loath mayo (I'd rather barf on my burger and eat it!.

Yes, I also hate bloody meat and love medium-well!!!

Go ahead and grill me, but that's hows I love it and it was damn tasty :-).

BTW... You guys make awesome food! Aaaaannnddd, texas blues.. you are a riot! Reading all your posts make me laugh my starhole off!!! Hahaha keep it up sir!
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I prefer medium well myself. Nothing makes me more nauseous than bleeding burgers. I mean those processing places are so gross and to think of what all has gone on in and around that meat makes me want it cooked really good. 
 
D3monic said:
Had a burger for linner today. A place in town we really like called hamburgerseria (assume owners serian?) The meat has a really great taste and buns always taste fresh. I usually get the ohare burger, which is a dumb name for mushrooms and swiss. They serve a "burger sauce" that from what i've been able to deduce is a mayo with mustard and horseraddish. Tastes pretty good, especially with a basket of fries.  
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Seafood joint in Clearwater, FL, Crabby Bill's, makes an awesome sauce with mayo, mustard, and horseradish for their crab cakes and grouper sammich's.
 
My riff on it is heavy on the horseradish.
 
That sheeit keeps rockin' in the free world!
 
D3monic said:
 
I prefer medium well myself. Nothing makes me more nauseous than bleeding burgers. I mean those processing places are so gross and to think of what all has gone on in and around that meat makes me want it cooked really good. 
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You sir are a smart man! :-)
 
 
I prefer medium well myself. Nothing makes me more nauseous than bleeding burgers. I mean those processing places are so gross and to think of what all has gone on in and around that meat makes me want it cooked really good. 


that depends on who's butchering ...
 
Get to know your meat cutter.
 
There's more than a'plenty marketing and industry juju when it comes beef and pork.
 
Most guys at meat counters will tell you the truth about sourcing and what's going on rather than sell the company/party line.
 
If you're nice.
 
Myself, I just go and pick out a nice chuck roast and grind it myself.
 
Smashed style with onions and a bun only.
 
Best burger I ever ate.
 
 
True story.
 
grantmichaels said:
I get a grind of 1/2 chuck, 1/4 round, 1/4 short-rib ... not too different, really!
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Why bother with the round?
 
Round is lean as hell.
 
Like sirloin.
 
Why would you mix fatty cuts (that make it taste good!) like chuck or short rib with a leaner cut?
 
That makes no sense to me.
 
Sirloin, and round, whether top or bottom, to me is irony, minerally, and much less tender than chuck/shoulder.
 
And lean as hell.
 
If you're using chuck and/or short rib for your burger, you're already sinning healthwise sorta' speak.
 
Why sin upon that sin by adding sirloin?
 
Sirloin and all lean cuts have no place in burgers IMO.
 
 
And furthermore....
 
If I was a regular meat/steak/roast guy....which these days I am not...
 
Sirloin, no matter top or bottom, is the last cut I would eat.
 
If I'm gonna'sin...
 
Gimme' a bigass ribeye with all the fat and all the flavor.
 
grantmichaels said:
"london broil"
 
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London Broil.
 
I loathe that term.
 
London Broil is an entree and always flank.
 
Usually marinated over night, seared, and finished in the oven most often to medium rare.
 
Then cut thin on a bias and served with an au jus and horseradish.
 
Marketing guys got the idea that if they labeled round as London Broil they could sell it better.
 
Round and flank are world's apart texture and flavor wise.
 
I'd slap the waiter and the cook that served me round over flank for London Broil.
 
That'd be no less sinful than using sirloin and calling it fajitas.
 
But si senor.
 
There are bastiges out there that do that too.
 
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