And a dadgum guud mornin' to y'all from a balmy 49f degree north Texas. Summer is officially adios now chidren's.
I've had me a super wombat jones for a scheeze burger for almost 3 weeks now and I succumbed to the swirling cesspool of burning burger desire and caved in to my lustful temptations.
Try-N-Save 80/20 ground chuck (the non-Norris kine') for cheapness. Loose balls over diced oh's and pickled chiltepin's gettin' happy in Black Betty.
As soon as the meat hits the pan, ya' gotta' get yer' buns toastin' right away. I use a medium heat Black Betty comal and my go to slider buns, Pepperidge Farm regular non hippy style slider buns.
Sizzle sizzle fo' shizzel for 30 seconds or so, then smash 'em and contaminate 'em with kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper.
Give 'em another 30 seconds and flip them baby's over in the crib. If the neighbors and your dog are going crazy from the smells, you're doing it right! Better than sniffin' fresh glue from a bag!
Soon as you flip 'em is when you add the cheese. Dang sto' didn't have any Tilly cheddah' scheeze so I went with regular no name medium scheddar scheeze. Put a lid on those puppy's pronto to speed up the melty goodness.
I splooged both sides of the toasted bun and added a couple of thin sliced vine ripened toms. That's it. No foo foo or screwin' around with foie gras, bone marrow, baboon spermatazoa aioli, or arugula n' sheeit.
Pump up the volume on yer' 'puter and you'd hear me moaning in X T C while my eyeballs roll up into the back a' mah haid while pie holing 'dis slider.
NOTE: When on a mission to make these sliders, have all your mize ready on deck, no messin' 'round. These cook fast!! 3 minutes tops. More than that and you're sucking the life out of 'em like a chupacabra at a sleep over for kid goats. And the pan has got to be at least medium hot, but not too hot or you'll burn the onions. No need for oil in the pan or fancy unguents, gourmet KY, or other salves. By all means consume mind and body altering substances during preparation but keep a sharp eye about or you'll end up screwing the pooch and ruin ever 'thang. Pretend you're in a Jimmy Johnson's pit crew. Only drunk and high.
In my opinion burgers cooked in cast iron or on a griddle using the smash technique beat the hell out of any other method. Grilled, broiled, baked, steamed, hobo fire...hear me now, believe me later, nuthin' comes close to this burger magic. This shizzel is supa' kine and no doubt...
CHINGON!
