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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...


Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.


Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!


So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
Nice maillard crust on them burgers even without cast iron.
And I'm lovin' the scheeze schmeltinessess.
Seeing yer' pics Jay is pure torture!
2 more weeks to go before I can get my cheeseburger on!
Hey y'all,
I've had my burger jones on for a while now but I like to be liking all 'thangs in moderation these days when it comes to beef and dead animal carcass in general. I don't get to eat a real burger 'til next week. So what to do?
After much thought, wringing of hands, woe, and gnashing of teeth, I give you this...
A dadgum black bean veggie burger.
Canned black beans, drain & rinsed.
Cooked quinoa.
Fresno chile.
1 egg.
Kosher salt.
Not shown is rolled oats that I added after mixing as the it was a little too loose and wet.

Here 'tis after adding the oats. I was tasting it along the way and DAMN if it don't taste dern' guud!
(I'm looking at this stuff and wham! Deja vu! I've seen this stuff before but where? Oh yeah, I 'member now. The baff'room.)

No description needed here.

I toasted up a couple whole wheat slider buns on the comal, schmeared with just a leetle bit of olive oil mayo, sliced red onion, and tomato.

In my haste to rip into these baby's I completely farmed the cheese I was going to put on 'em but guess what? They didn't need it. In fact these were so guud that I started hallucinatin' n' sheeit about going off and getting my 'sef arrested for climbing a Russian oil platform.

So there you have it y'all.
I done gone 'n did it and posted a damn veggie burger.
It's allowed in the rules. Look it up!
I am ready to accept much smack talk and ridicule now.
Nice one JHP but tho' that lettuce on the ground!
And Jay if you want to have some laughs and real fun with mrs. JayT, throw some corn in the toilet tank.
Its great comedy when you hear the toilet flush and hear the screams coming from teh baff'room.
JayT said:
Trying to wrap my head around this.  You mean the bowl, or the tank?  What happens?  
Put the corn in the tank.
When she flushes the corn will pop out.
She'll freak since she'll know that she hasn't been eating any corn.
We used to prank each other at the fishing lodge in Alaska all the time.
This one was a favorite for FNG's.
Much obliged Penny and Essi.
Once you get away from all the fat, the salt, sugar, and processed junk, its surprising how good healthy eating can be.
or if you want to go even harder.  you actually take a dump in the tank.  then they will flush and your turd pops up,lol.    we call that "second story dump"