Chefs Dish It Out

[The Hot Pepper]

Are you a chef? Cooking with heat? Dish it out! Tell us your stories (good and bad), menu creations, etc.

No guests, search engines, or regular members can see in here. So talk freely!

Have questions for chefs and chef/owners? Ask!

(This was created so TB could tell us about his new job. But all chefs, please chime in!)

 

[texas blues]

I worked for a joint in Anchorage which was known for having the cleanest kitchen in town. One health inspector liked to show up and impress his new trainee's and show them the ropes. He'd often walk in unannounced when it was screaming busy. Then one time he did it and came behind the line during a very busy lunch. I ignored him and pretended I didn't see him. I picked up a 3 gallon pot of semi warm tomato sauce heating on the burner and backed up and turned around and bumped into him and spilled most of the pots contents all over his shirt, pants, and shoes. How you like me now dumbass? The stupid didn't come by again for at least a year. The owner said " ya' know, I should fire you for that but I've been wanting to do that to that jackass ever since I met him. Good job!"

True story.

 

[frydad4]

True story.

Great Story!

And you played it off like it was an accident.....
Genius!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

A fatboys pork sandwich is a thing of beauty.
And my drunk ass once spilled a FULL pitcher of beer across our table at a sonnys on all u can eat chicken night after playing golf (which means 3 holes of golf, 15 holes of happy hour)

Yes, it is. Or the chicken/rib combo plate with beans, slaw, Texas toast. Also, Fat Boy's' breakfast is damn guud.

And... LOL.

 

[texas blues]

The owner is a little too chummy with a guy that works on the kitchen hood and a/c units. He pays the guy cash and also has a deal where the guy eats for free. He'll come in for breakfast around 9 and then again around 1230 pm for lunch. Lately the dude has been hitting on a young waitress. Over the last week it was reported that she was seen sucking face with the guy at his table while in view of guests/customers. It was also reported she was eating from his plate on another occasion. Somehow the owners have been unaware. The gal is only 19. The dude is a just divorced 30 something father of 2. Today after the lunch rush, the young gal was parked at his table and not working as she should be. I walked off the line and told her politely to get off her ass and find something to do. The dude smiled at me and waved as if to say "c'mon man, let her stay.." 20 minutes later she appeared in the kitchen and I took her aside where noone else could hear.

"Listen up missy! I don't give a damn what you do outside on your private time, its none of my business, but when you're here you will conduct yourself in a professional manner. At this time I don't have any authority over you but if I see you again sitting at that guy's table, at any time for any reason, I will come out of the kitchen and I will embarrass you so bad in front of everyone you will wish you had never worked here and after I get done with you I will embarrass HIM in front of everybody so he will never show his face ever in this joint. Do you understand? Are ya' feelin' me? This is your place of business. This is where you work. You're a grown woman and a professional. ACT LIKE IT! School's out and this ain't no playground and I ain't one of your chummy school fake friends. I'm a grown ass man and I won't put up with your sheeit. "

All she could do was sheepishly nod her head and was visibly shaken.

When the owner arrived 45 minutes later I told him exactly what happened and what I said to her. He seemed flabbergasted and at the same time grateful. I told him as he had no current replacement for her that I didn't want to run her off but that what was said was necessary. He thanked me and said that it was time to get rid of her and that this was just another in a series of problems he had with her. Too bad really because her father is best bud's with the owner. The owner agreed though that the Come to Jesus meeting I had with her was long overdue and in addition he was unaware of his a/c guy's extracurricular activities with members of his staff when not around. The poor guy had a dazed look on his face.

This is but one of many problems of all sorts that can and do occur at restaurants that you would never dream of. From the lowliest of mom & pop joints to Michelin rated joints, you wouldn't believe the sheeit that goes on.

So you want to run your own restaurant?

First, have your head examined.

Second, I recommend you start drinking heavily.

You'd be smarter to throw your money away and spend it on hookers and blow.



True story.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Good for you. If there is no manager, or shift manager, the chef (the kitchen boss) is in charge of the floor when the owner is not there, even if you have not been given official authority, it is the ranking order and you took the bull by the horns.

They need a shift manager.

 

[texas blues]

They can't afford a shift manager. They usually perform that task themselves yet because they are too friendly with the people they hire, they lack the will tenacity to enforce anything. They are often too busy and oblivious to the going's on and often I think they put much of the tomfoolishnessess on auto-ignore, unwilling to face their own responsibility as owners. They are too inexperienced and down right afraid to face problems. They are also just plain worn out from the daily drag of it as well. Quite honestly, the owners are their own worst enemy. I am hoping I can lead them to where they want to be and help them to realize that they must take control of their own business before its too late. The best I can do is to show them by example how its supposed to be done. The husband/owner I work with most during the day and only see the wife/owner on weekends. They really are the some of the sweetest down home folks I've ever met and its a damn shame to see some of the crap that goes on.
I love a challenge and this one is a doozy but as I always say...."I do the impossible stuff first, and the tough stuff later".

For now I'd be happy getting them to grok to the idea of hot food only goes out on hot plates!

Baby steps.

 

[muskymojo]

I never go to buffett's or buy specials. Why? Because they are moving out stuff they didn't sell and have a lot of. Why? I'll say it again. THEY COULDN'T SELL IT!.

This is very true and sometimes much worse. I worked in a few "nice" restaurants back in the day. I was actually planning on going to culinary school until I got burnt out on it. I don't do well at all in high temps, and I found myself working all the hours I didn't want to be working like nights and weekends.

Anyway, one of the places was at a top notch golf course. We had a daily "prep list" of chores to do whenever we had some spare time. Anything from dicing tomatoes, to making rue, to breading fish, etc. One of the things on the daily list was to rinse the chicken pieces for the broaster chicken. I guess that's supposed to make it last longer? I dunno, but one day I went to rinse the chicken and discovered it was rancid. I almost puked when I took the lid off. I told the head chef about it before I threw it away just to let him know. He sniffed the chicken and said "Oh it's not that bad. Cook it all off right now and we'll make it the special tomorrow and just reheat it to order". I couldn't believe what I was hearing and refused to do it. I asked him if the owner would approve, and he told me to throw it away. Needless to say I didn't work there much longer.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

I worked in a Mexican joint, and the owner would have you empty the used salsa back into the salsa tub after you cleared the table. Umm hell no! I put that shit in the garbage where it belonged! I had a waiter friend and he was like "You're supposed to put it back in," I refused and told him how wrong it was, but he was one of those yes men, I guess. No way. Saliva and broken chips... germs, for real?

Indian is one of my favorite cuisines. When you go to a joint they bring the three famous sauces, you know, the coriander, tamarind, and onion chutney. You eat it with some papadum, use some with your meal. etc., then they take it away when you're done. You know they just top it off and it goes to the next table! You know it! And what about the pickles and slaw at diners? Or the bread?

I was at an Italian joint and got the bread basket and one piece had been dipped in sauce and it had dried sauce on the end. Ewwww. Come on! For real?!

Listen. When you own a restaurant and you set your prices, set them to include the free shit you give out and stop acting like you'll go broke if you throw it away. When they sit down and order whatever they pay should include that shit! No one wants leftovers at a restaurant, and it violates the health code. And it is obvious... when there's bits of chip in your salsa, or sauce on your bread. Then guess what happens. You LOSE business! So how good was your plan?

How do people operate like this? I would never do that.

By the way, that Mexican joint used to sell NY strips and filets... and they'd take the NY strips, cut a circle out with a cookie cutter, and sell it as filet mignon, which was more $, for less of the same steak, and use the scraps of the cut out for fajitas and such. No joke!

 

[muskymojo]

unbelievable...

 

[texas blues]

unbelievable...

Negative.

It's totally believable and all too common.

I haven't experienced that very 'thang with the steaks that THP related but I've seen some 'thangs that even a hyena wouldn't touch.

The most common is bread that lands on the table upon seating.

More often than you think, what doesn't get eaten gets "recycled".

From my experience it happens less at high end restaurants but it does happen nonetheless.

mrs. blues and I rarely go out these days and are very particular about the joints we throw our $$ at.

Y'all have seen me go on and on about INO Burger.

We like it especially because we can see all the goin's on in the kitchen.

I want to feel satisfied some punk ain't spittin' on my burger because his girl fren' dumped him that day and I requested no lettuce.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

TB, I've become a germaphobe over the years and have walked out of places after I've ordered take-out and seen weird shit.

It's hard for me to even order pizza by the slice because they all handle pizza and money at the same time. Do you know what's on money? Touch a bill... then grab my slice... no thanks. Or then they go to pounding dough.

What about the cooks you see wearing gloves but they are on their cell phone, with the gloves, or touching garbage with the gloves? Then, what are the gloves for? I walked out of a dumpling joint cuz he was on his phone, then he handled my dumplings. Bye bye!

I really hate going to a food truck, seeing them with gloves (oh cool!) but then they take money with them.

It never ends.

Cook your own meals!

 

[muskymojo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Z4ZXRlcoEW8

 

[The Hot Pepper]

20/20 investigation just this year:

"Our undercover test found that half of the lemon wedges we tested had traces of human waste, making them one of the dirtiest items in a restaurant. If you don’t want to give up the lemon in your drink, ask for it on the side of the glass, then squeeze the juice in and set it aside instead of dunking it."

Other areas were the menus, seats, and condiment bottles. Bathrooms and knobs were actually cleaner, because they actually get cleaned.

Those tests just confirm my suspicions. I never get the lemon for that reason, and cringe when I get a Bloody Mary and try to get them to leave all the veg out. You know, celery, peppers, pickle, whatever it may be.

I catch them right after they mix it.

 

[Scovie]

Lemons??? Holy cow! That explains why the restaurant I worked at ran almost all fruits and veg's thru a veggie bath.
Lemons, oranges (like 9 cases before we juiced them) carrots etc.
All soaked for like 10 min.s in a veggie wash, like a mild bleach bath.
The fresh (never frozen) seafood was kept in it's own walk in, outside the building.
and we aren't talking about pre cut fillets or fish sticks... no....
Whole Halibut, Live Dungeness Crab, Salmon, Clams, Mussels etc.

We didn't think anything of it cuz those were the rules.
It seems owners/GMs get complacent and/or lazy about known hazards.
whether it's burn out or just plain cheap, or both, if new hires know the rules right off the bat, they follow them.
I see it all the time in the construction trade. Hire 'em young, so you can train them how you want.
I had a 50 something framer nailing truss braces in a roof system, and he took the nail gun and put 15 nails in the end of the 2X4.
Do you know what happens to a 2X4 when you put 15 nails in it? It splinters to shit and all integrity is gone.
My point to this story? His response when I asked WTF are you doing?... "I've always done it this way".
My response?... "See ya pal".

Funny too, cuz when that old crusty Nail-Jockey started, they didn't even have nail guns.
I s'pose he enjoyed putting 15 nails in a 2X4 the old fashioned way... with a hammer, yeah right.

 

[texas blues]

I hear ya' Scovie.

When I was guiding fly fishermen in Alaska, I'd be rowing the boat as we drifted down stream. I'd have on angler casting from the bow and one from the stern. Dude from the stern, even though he was getting the 2nd shot at the fish, would be nailing the sheeit out of 'em on every cast. Too often the guy in the bow would be crap. It all came down to who was listening and doing what the guide tells them. All too often I'd hear from guy who wouldn't be catching jack squat that "I know what I'm doing. I've been fishing like this for 50 years!" Yes you have. And you've been doing it WRONG for 50 years.

Same is true for snot nosed play baby pencil neck dip dunk no load cookie pushin' Steve Ray Wannabe chefs, has beens and never were's. I don't want some candy ass Dole Pinapple can earring wearin' punk that thinks he's cute because he knows how to reduce a gallon of water down by half. I want a guy smart enough to know how to measure out a half gallon of water.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Scovie it's not because the lemons come that way, it's because the waitress or bartender that grabs it and puts it in the drink has dirty hands from the bathroom.

 

[texas blues]

Scovie it's not because the lemons come that way, it's because the waitress or bartender that grabs it and puts it in the drink has dirty hands from the bathroom.

Glad you mentioned that.

I just try not to pee on my hands.

Then again I've always been unconventional.

When I'm done peeing I don't shake it out.

I wring it out.

Like a wet beach towel.


True story.

 

[Scovie]

"Reduce a gallon of water down by half" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the hale you get bones in toast? Punk!

Scovie it's not because the lemons come that way, it's because the waitress or bartender that grabs it and puts it in the drink has dirty hands from the bathroom.

True dat bossman, but also maybe from the fields, truckers, and all the other handlers/ storage facilities along the way? If it's the waitstaff, why would Lemons be dirtier than anything else?
Seriously, inquiring minds want to know.

I think WA has been cracking down on Food handling, but I don't know. When you go to get your Food Handlers card, They have you rub your hands down with blue dye, then tell you to go wash it off. Most people come back with blue dye under their fingernails, and knuckles and such. Maybe it's that way everywhere. But I have seen the sweaty chef wipe his brow with the back of his hand, or wipe his nose on the arm of his shirt. YOU'RE FIRED! Should be the last thing they hear as their asses are kicked to the curb.
I tells ya.

Glad you mentioned that.

I just try not to pee on my hands.

Then again I've always been unconventional.

When I'm done peeing I don't shake it out.

I wring it out.

Like a wet beach towel.


True story.

I give mine a Whirly Gig when I'm done.

 

[texas blues]

Just another reason I don't like helicopters.

 

[muskymojo]

I see it all the time in the construction trade. Hire 'em young, so you can train them how you want.
I had a 50 something framer nailing truss braces in a roof system, and he took the nail gun and put 15 nails in the end of the 2X4.
Do you know what happens to a 2X4 when you put 15 nails in it? It splinters to shit and all integrity is gone.
My point to this story? His response when I asked WTF are you doing?... "I've always done it this way".
My response?... "See ya pal".

I know all too well where you're coming from, but I don't think young or old makes any difference. Some people "get it", and some people will never ever ever "get it" no matter how many years they bounce from job to job. I'm sure he was never told by any previous employers to put 15 nails in the end of a 2x4. He is probably just not trainable, or just plain stupid... or most likely both. I've wasted so much time and money trying to train in people that will never ever "get it" it makes me sick to think about. Now, I can usually tell in a few hours if they are going to be worthless or good. And then the good ones usually split to start their own thing as soon as they learn the ropes and actually start to make you any money. It's a never ending cycle. That's why I try to get jobs that I can do myself, or with one helper these days. Lots of "characters" in the building trades...


edit: sorry for the off topic rant