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Ever had a Coffee enama???

Have you tried a coffee enema before?? PRIVATE POLL

  • YES I HAVE AND MY COLON LOVES IT!!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • NO - EXIT ONLY!!

    Votes: 10 100.0%
  • Total voters
    10
LGHT

LGHT

A friend was talking about how she loves her "coffee enemas". She has had them a few times and swears by them so I thought I would see who if anyone has tried one? Believe it or not this isn't the first time I've heard people say they work. Of course they all live in LA so even with some facts I'm still not convinced.

Here is some info.
Coffee enama has more benefits than saline enema. Besides “flushing” out what is in the small intestines, caffeine, theophylline and theobromine in the coffee is able to speed up the detoxification process.
Benefits of coffee enama

Although drinking coffee allow you to absorb these substances, the benefits and effects are very different compare to coffee enama. The tissues your small intestines are able to absorb these substances quicker. The caffeine will reach your liver directly through hemorrhodial vein.

Palmitates (which is the enzymes in coffee) will help the liver to carry out toxins in bile acid. While blood vessels and bile ducts are dilated, more toxins are carried away by the biles to the gastro-intestinal tract. When coffee floods your lower colon, you will have the urge to release everything out. By that time, toxins, wastes, biles and the coffee will be evacuated out from your body.

You might see liquid stools that smell horrible and probably parasites in the shape of worms. Those are the “results” of a success coffee enama.
Materials and Supplies for coffee enama

The materials that are required for a successful and complete coffee enema is reusable enema kit, organic coffee or coffee which is not decaffeinated, purified or filtered water, pot to boil coffee and a jug that is able to fill up 1.5 litres of water.
Coffee enama instructions

1. Boil 0.5 litres of water and 2 teaspoon of coffee in the pot for 10 minutes.
2. Mix them with the other 1 litre of water in the jug.
3. Stick your hand in the jug to make sure the temperature is around 40 degrees Celcius.
4. Hang the enema bag at the height of a door knob.
5. Cover the end of the tube with some olive oil, grapefruit oil or any oil that is not highly processed.
6. Insert the 2 inches of the tube into your anus.
7. Lie down on the floor in the toilet on your right. You can put a mat or towel on the floor.
8. Allow the coffee to start going in your body and hold it for 10 minutes.
Important notes for coffee enama

There are few things you need to remember. Always make sure the coffee temperature is not higher than 40 degrees. You might feel like releasing all the coffee after a quarter of coffee has entered. Don’t tolerate, release it. That’s common for the first few times. I did coffee enama for at least 20 times and it still takes 2 times for me to get 1.5 litres of coffee in.
 
About this whole "detoxifying" business. They claim coffee enemas "detoxify", but I heard this same claim for the same-old colonics back in the 1990s. When I lived in Hollywood, you couldn't drive down West Sunset without seeing places doing colonics. Colonics is a fancy name for high-priced enemas. Some places referred to it as "colon irrigation". Sorry, irrigation is what you do to a field of green onions, not your digestive tract's "Southbound Viaduct", as it were. Yes, if you're plugged up tighter than the hatch on a deep water submersible and the traffic just ain't moving, you need an enema. But on a regular basis, it's a bad idea. It kills the beneficial bacteria in your lower intestine. And people that tell you that meat stays in your lower intestine for years are flat out lying. First off, it's impossible. Your lower intestine isn't an apartment complex with long-term, three-year-lease "tenants" in the form of partially or wholly digested food. And why would meat do that in the first place? Why not other foods, like bell peppers or pineapple or gouda cheese? I mean, this is a new spin on that crap (har, har) your mom told you about swallowing chewing gum and it staying in your intestine for seven years. Why seven years? Is that the length of the gum's weird religious pilgrimage through your digestive tract, where it receives enlightenment? Does it have to undergo some kind of painful ordeal to finally leave, like in the old 1970s TV show "Kung Fu"? "Ah, Grasshopper, you finally learned the meaning behind the Parable of the Thousand Day Old Chewing Gum!" Come on, really, get serious. So, yeah, these people were getting enemas from colonics salons on a weekly basis, which is a real sh*tty business if you ask me.

But on this "detoxifying" business, there are certain things there is just no return ticket for. Exposure to radioactive elements, for example. Juggling spheres of plutonium is a bad career move for this reason. Lead poisoning or just about any other heavy metal poisoning is pretty hard to get a "do over" for, too. Beryllium is another thing you don't want to carry around in your pocket as a lucky charm. Your probably don't want to order any cadmium-plated cookware, either. But as far as everyday toxins? I say, har, har, it's a bunch of crap.

It reminds me of all the people that bought protective masks after 9/11. "What if there's a nerve gas attack??? I better buy a gas mask!! I need to be ready!!!" Yeah, and anyone who went through U.S. Army basic training know surviving a full-on nerve gas attack means you need to be at MOPP4. For the civilians out there, that's protective mask (the army doesn't call them "gas masks"), mask hood, chemical boots, chemical gloves, and MOPP suit (that's a special charcoal-lined suit.) Because, goshdurn it, wouldn't ya know it? Nerve gas is skin-permeable! Geez, if anyone ever got a hold of a binary VX nerve gas canister, you'd better have that whole suit on when it gets popped, or you just won't have time to get it on before you're on the ground flopping about. And the other nifty fringe benefit is you get to crap and piss in your MOPP suit the entire duration of the attack until the "All Clear" sounds. All the things the online gas mask and Cipro (and now potassium iodine) sellers don't tell you. This whole "detoxifying" gig is the same scare-mongering nonsense.

By the way, I will soon be selling an entire line of gas masks, Cipro, potassium iodine tablets, gold coins, and do-it-yourself home enema kits on my blog. I might as well cash in on hysteria, too. :lol:
 
Guerilla Chef said:
About this whole "detoxifying" business. They claim coffee enemas "detoxify", but I heard this same claim for the same-old colonics back in the 1990s. When I lived in Hollywood, you couldn't drive down West Sunset without seeing places doing colonics. Colonics is a fancy name for high-priced enemas. Some places referred to it as "colon irrigation". Sorry, irrigation is what you do to a field of green onions, not your digestive tract's "Southbound Viaduct", as it were. Yes, if you're plugged up tighter than the hatch on a deep water submersible and the traffic just ain't moving, you need an enema. But on a regular basis, it's a bad idea. It kills the beneficial bacteria in your lower intestine. And people that tell you that meat stays in your lower intestine for years are flat out lying. First off, it's impossible. Your lower intestine isn't an apartment complex with long-term, three-year-lease "tenants" in the form of partially or wholly digested food. And why would meat do that in the first place? Why not other foods, like bell peppers or pineapple or gouda cheese? I mean, this is a new spin on that crap (har, har) your mom told you about swallowing chewing gum and it staying in your intestine for seven years. Why seven years? Is that the length of the gum's weird religious pilgrimage through your digestive tract, where it receives enlightenment? Does it have to undergo some kind of painful ordeal to finally leave, like in the old 1970s TV show "Kung Fu"? "Ah, Grasshopper, you finally learned the meaning behind the Parable of the Thousand Day Old Chewing Gum!" Come on, really, get serious. So, yeah, these people were getting enemas from colonics salons on a weekly basis, which is a real sh*tty business if you ask me.

But on this "detoxifying" business, there are certain things there is just no return ticket for. Exposure to radioactive elements, for example. Juggling spheres of plutonium is a bad career move for this reason. Lead poisoning or just about any other heavy metal poisoning is pretty hard to get a "do over" for, too. Beryllium is another thing you don't want to carry around in your pocket as a lucky charm. Your probably don't want to order any cadmium-plated cookware, either. But as far as everyday toxins? I say, har, har, it's a bunch of crap.

It reminds me of all the people that bought protective masks after 9/11. "What if there's a nerve gas attack??? I better buy a gas mask!! I need to be ready!!!" Yeah, and anyone who went through U.S. Army basic training know surviving a full-on nerve gas attack means you need to be at MOPP4. For the civilians out there, that's protective mask (the army doesn't call them "gas masks"), mask hood, chemical boots, chemical gloves, and MOPP suit (that's a special charcoal-lined suit.) Because, goshdurn it, wouldn't ya know it? Nerve gas is skin-permeable! Geez, if anyone ever got a hold of a binary VX nerve gas canister, you'd better have that whole suit on when it gets popped, or you just won't have time to get it on before you're on the ground flopping about. And the other nifty fringe benefit is you get to crap and piss in your MOPP suit the entire duration of the attack until the "All Clear" sounds. All the things the online gas mask and Cipro (and now potassium iodine) sellers don't tell you. This whole "detoxifying" gig is the same scare-mongering nonsense.

By the way, I will soon be selling an entire line of gas masks, Cipro, potassium iodine tablets, gold coins, and do-it-yourself home enema kits on my blog. I might as well cash in on hysteria, too. :lol:
Click to expand...


I dig this post but.....I'm too drunky to comment coherently. VX gas? Really? That ain't shit..my ex wife will f@#k you up more than that stuff.
 
I like coffee but it gives me instant diarrhea. It comes out of my
rear as soon as I put it in my front... I can't imagine how quickly
it would come out if I put it in my rear!
 
robbie said:
I like coffee but it gives me instant diarrhea. It comes out of my
rear as soon as I put it in my front... I can't imagine how quickly
it would come out if I put it in my rear!
Click to expand...

Don't tempt fate, maybe it would come out the other end! I know a lot of idiots with 'diarrhea of the mouth', but that would suck!!!
 
you can stick that idea up yah any ways who likes the idea of something up your cracker not me its all yours buddy
 
A basic rule of thumb with liquids used for enemas, is they hit the system about 400% more than if taken orally.

A coffee enema will be like having 4-coffees via the mouth.

Red-wine enema will be like having the same amount of strong spirits.

There have been cases of people getting alcohol poisoning due to that lack of knowledge.

More bang for your buck/butt. ;)
 
Wow...

I wonder about the socializing aspects of these enemas. I mean, do people instead of saying "Hey, how about let's get together at Starbucks and grab a couple lattes and chat!", say "Hey, how about let's get together at Backblast for a couple capuccino enemas and chat?" "Well, ok, but I'll need to make mine an espresso enema. I am avoiding dairy---trying to watch my weight..." I'm just not certain about the human race anymore. Some days I wonder if avoiding that all-out thermonuclear war with the Soviets was such a blessing after all. :rofl:
 
Novacastrian said:
Yo tb you bettet learn to shut the f%*k up! Grown folks are talkin here! :rofl:
Click to expand...



You of all people should know that drunken posnting is mandatory!Grown and all...You bastimagae! Done' make me soay somthing like " I love youman" drunk posting cuz I willl... " I luv you MAn!!... Nova is KING!
 
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