smokers Finally, a Smoker I Can Call My Own

Wow! What a thread. I post now, fully aware of the dangers in so doing…
This is to say I guess I am a dinosaur. My meat smoking skills were taught to me by very old men. You got “X” lbs meat, you smoke it for “X” hrs at “X” temperature.  This was common knowledge, but always the sauces were kept strict secrets. I’ve but one entrusted to me when doing whole hog.
Reckon I have not modernized at all in this regard. Kinda like when I was a kid, riding a bike with nothing but a lug nut and a prayer, chances are, if we saw some kid with a helmet – he would not fare well. Same here with my learning of the craft of BBQ, if I’d shown up with temp probes for the meat or other such gear, surely I’d gotten my ass kicked and sent home with a funny look on my face.
Lost my whole train of thought for this (odd schedule this week, give me a pass) , but be that at as it may, kudos for taking it to the next level, in spite of the old guards such as myself. I won’t “knock it till I try it.”
Still lost in thought, meant in the least disrespectful way as might be interpreted. Change is difficult for some older dudes like myself…
However, should you roll up to my place on a bicycle wearing some damn helmet with a box full of electronic cooking gadgets – you’re going home carrying an ass whipping with you!
Reggie, if I ever have you over for coffee , remind me not to let you see how I make it. ;)

3 plug in appliances and two battery powered cooking gadgets are involved in what is essentially a pour hot water over coffee grounds process.


I don't even use the timer anymore otherwise if would be 3 battery powered cooking gadgets.
This is a little late, Stetto, but funny nonetheless. Good reading ;)

A couple of my favorite excerpts:

“ The next step, once you’ve found your brisket, is staring at it, shaking your head, and muttering, “Christ, what the hell am I gonna do with this fuckin’ thing.” It looks like a barge! If you weren’t cooking it, you could stretch a fitted sheet over it and take a nap. But don’t. It is the breast of a cow.
Congratulations! By traveling to the butcher shop and back, you have completed like 64 percent of the actual work of preparing a brisket.”

“ Grill ready? Brisket ready? You ready? Cool. Time to cook this fucker. Drain a big fistful of those soaked wood chips and toss them on the hot charcoal; lay the brisket fat-side-up (in its little pan that you made!) on the part of the grate that is not directly over the charcoal; shut your grill’s vents nearly all the way to lower the heat; slap the lid on that fucker so that the vents are over the brisket, not over the charcoal; set a timer for an hour, and immediately begin fretting...

... The fretting is important! Or anyway it’s unavoidable, so you might as well sell yourself on the idea that it somehow works to the benefit of this far-off feast of smoky meat. Fret and fret and fret. Try to distract yourself with work or reading or tossing a frisbee, but really: fret. Is the fire too hot? Not hot enough? Should I check it? If I check it, will I ruin it? Have I already ruined it? Am I, myself, ruined.”

“ Or, you can drop that tray of sliced brisket on the table from slightly too high, bark, “Here. It’s ready.” at your guests, and go off to a quiet corner to shake and mutter off your resentment at the hours you gave to this giant slab of beef for this buncha goddamn ingrates.”

Funny stuff :rofl:

PtMD989 said:
Get your beef yet, eh [emoji16]    
Fork no. Haven't taken time to call 'em either.
Thing is, we got beef, from the last mixed quarter we bought. I figured he needed the time, but now, after a couple of unfilled deliver-by promises, I think I do need to call him.
Hell, we got a whole hog coming too....
The Wagyu/Angus side has apparently been ready since Friday, but they were distracted by work to call....I'll pick that up in the morning.
The hog will take a little longer. They've actually gotten too busy to cater just to me.... :tear:
I hate it when I have my own private local-sourcing meat processor all to myself, then the world finds out. 
They used to have a website for shipped orders, but I think there were problems with the shipping end of it...but there is a Farcebook page--
Picked it up this morning, 360+ lbs cut & wrapped. I'd hoped they'd vacuum packed it, but I didn't request that, so no marbly pics just yet. I had to get 'er in the freezer...
Only got about half the burger in the chest, the rest went in various other freezers in the house...
full side inthefeeze.jpg

The hog is almost ready, wher the F am I gonna put that bad boy?
Oh, and I did get to meet the farmer who supplied my beef. His name's Casey. He also does dairy--
I so love life in the sticks!! 
Another reason to defund winds above 10 kts: I feel like I just made a leap off the Curmudgeon Cliff and landed smack dab into the passenger seat of George Jetson's Space Car, AND I WANNA USE IT!
new thermo.jpg

Now. One question: Mike, is the phone app worth downloading? I didn't read a lot of positive reviews...
stettoman said:
Another reason to defund winds above 10 kts: I feel like I just made a leap off the Curmudgeon Cliff and landed smack dab into the passenger seat of George Jetson's Space Car, AND I WANNA USE IT!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

stettoman said:
 Now. One question: Mike, is the phone app worth downloading? I didn't read a lot of positive reviews...
I just downloaded it; didnt even read the reviews. I would because you cant use it remotely if you dont, I dont think you can anyway(?). Im not even sure if you could set any alarms without it, could you? Maybe yours is newer than mine, but mine only has one button on it: ON/OFF. With the app, you can set all kinds of alarms; when the meat is done, smoker temp range, etc. Plus, you dont have to go outside every time you want to check on things. Theres even an alarm to let you know that your phone is out of range and cant pick up the signal anymore (150ft? I cant remember). Without it, you might end up out there checking on everything every 15 minutes, wondering if everything is doing ok :rofl: I know I would! It sets my mind at ease :) I*d hate to go outside, after a 15 hour cook, only to find out that my brisket got overcooked by 20* because I was busy inside making BBQ sauce, and lost track of time or something, ya know?

It comes preloaded with a bunch of preset temps:

Temps you can program in yourself:
(I put the last few in)

It tells what what each individual probe is reading:

All sorts of alarm options:

Temp graphs to show history/progress:

Im sure it could probably be better, but its FREE, really convenient, and fits my needs. If you end up not liking it, you could always delete it, right? ;)

Word to the wise... its magnetic, but dont slap that thing on the side of your cooking chamber, like I did to my WSM yesterday, or the back piece that holds the batteries in will melt and fall off. Then, youll go outside and find it laying on the ground... ask me how I know :lol: The screen turned all black (not burnt!) like most electronic screens do when they get too hot, haha. Luckily, I happened to be out there when it happened. I caught it early enough, put it in the shade, and everything is fine. The back cover didnt *melt* but it wont stay on anymore :rofl:

I say go for it. What have you got to lose? If you like it, great. If not, delete it :cheers:
Awesome [emoji16][emoji106].
How many pounds of beef did you end up getting? Was it a whole, half,or quarter?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk