Lot's of different and great advice from a great cross section from the world on this thread! I'm bookmarking it. I may need it later. My daughter's only 10, but we live in the big city so you never know what you're going to get until you actually talk to these kids. Better even, would be if you could actually meet their parent(s). I grew up in the hard-core punk rock scene and all off us were constantly and almost literally spit on and kicked. We all turned out great. Great as in, respect for all, everyone is equal(unless you do something really stupid to us or to other good people), we're all good caring parents, most of us have really good jobs and so on. So don't judge a book by it's cover, even if it has 5 spikes pierced in it's eyebrows and is wearing a leather jacket with an Anti-System patch on the back.... BUT! I do have a problem with the droopy pants. The only plus for the droopy pants is that it's easier for the police to catch them when they try to run away!!!!!
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House Rules
- Thread starter wordwiz
- Start date
I dont have a problem with any of that, Armadillo at all. I just dont want to see anyones behind sticking out of the top of their pants. my sons hang pretty low becuase he's so skinny- we cant find them to fit his height and waist- and he likes em baggy and full of pockets. I like the "weirdos" -I'm usually one of them!Armadillo said:
I dont judge any of the kids on how they dress per se.
Whale-bone corsets? Well, dangerous only if worn every day... And quite attractive in some situations...
corsets are no problem-In fact, pregnant, the most comfortable garment I owned in my eight month was an Italian rennasiance style bustier (with modern plastic 'boning')- but the genuine whalebones that cinched a womans waist to 14 inches were unhealthy- under any circumstance! -health and safety concern me more than fashion and style. the former pair should not be sacrificed for the latter, in my book. so, pull up your pants and tie your shoes, because I dont want you hurt!
Celeste said:
I have to ask something, but first I want to make a few things clear. Reading a statement over the internet can sometimes be misleading. I in no way intend to be rude, nasty, or any other negative adjectives. We have been having a civil discussion and that is the way this is intended. My question is do you allow your children to play sports? The only reason I ask is because while being just as unnecessary as fashion I feel it may come with more dangers. Sorry my grammar was a bit rough there. (Also I do think sports can be helpful in terms of team building, confidence, etc. so I hope everyone doesn't take this as me denouncing sports.)
Hey wordwiz,
I also consider myself a redneck, hilljack, hillbilly.... Though my son is only 11..not as old as yours.. When he has friends over I run the place like a bootcamp..I have no qualms telling other peoples kids what to do. I have been a little league football coach for 6 years and find that kids like structure. I think a problem is that other parents don't want to offend someone else's kid. I also dont need the "pants on the ground" in my house.
Kevin
I also consider myself a redneck, hilljack, hillbilly.... Though my son is only 11..not as old as yours.. When he has friends over I run the place like a bootcamp..I have no qualms telling other peoples kids what to do. I have been a little league football coach for 6 years and find that kids like structure. I think a problem is that other parents don't want to offend someone else's kid. I also dont need the "pants on the ground" in my house.
Kevin
Kevin,
We don't even want to get started on coaching kids. I did it for years but went ballistic when this guy, who was the head coach at the time, decided to play what he thought was his best players the entire game in order to win. This was not the eighth grade, sixth grade of even the fourth grade - try second and third. I threw a fit. His response was that he would take a poll on what the players wanted. He asked them all if they wanted to win the game and of course, they all did! That proved his point, at least to him. But while about 15 kids sat on the bench the entire game while this "coach" played his favorites, our team still lost.
I wish Cincy played under Knothole and not Little League rules, where every kid gets to play at least two innings and gets to bat at least once (in a full game). If it doesn't happen, the coach is suspended for a game the first time, three games the second time and the next time - he is gonzo.
Something that vindicates me - we were playing a team and down by a run in the last inning. One guy, who had never made contact with a thrown ball let alone get a hit was the only guy who had not played. We sent him in to hit with a couple of runners on base. Yeah, it probably meant a loss but to our surprise, he got hit and drove in two runs, and we won the game. I saw him on the street a while back and though he is a BIG adult, he hugged me and said thanks. What more could a coach ask for!!!!
Mike
We don't even want to get started on coaching kids. I did it for years but went ballistic when this guy, who was the head coach at the time, decided to play what he thought was his best players the entire game in order to win. This was not the eighth grade, sixth grade of even the fourth grade - try second and third. I threw a fit. His response was that he would take a poll on what the players wanted. He asked them all if they wanted to win the game and of course, they all did! That proved his point, at least to him. But while about 15 kids sat on the bench the entire game while this "coach" played his favorites, our team still lost.
I wish Cincy played under Knothole and not Little League rules, where every kid gets to play at least two innings and gets to bat at least once (in a full game). If it doesn't happen, the coach is suspended for a game the first time, three games the second time and the next time - he is gonzo.
Something that vindicates me - we were playing a team and down by a run in the last inning. One guy, who had never made contact with a thrown ball let alone get a hit was the only guy who had not played. We sent him in to hit with a couple of runners on base. Yeah, it probably meant a loss but to our surprise, he got hit and drove in two runs, and we won the game. I saw him on the street a while back and though he is a BIG adult, he hugged me and said thanks. What more could a coach ask for!!!!
Mike
Mike ,
Thats really cool! I think more coaches are like you,but the few bad ones sorta give you a bad taste in your mouth.
Where I'm at, the kids HAVE to play either offense or defense the whole game,better kids play both.
Another great rule is that if there is a A-hole parent.. the coach has to kick em out or forfeit..so the other parents get involved!
Next year he will start 7th grade football at middle school.Im gonna be sad to not be coaching anymore..I gotta bunch of friends"dads" Im gonna miss. It sounds crazy,theyre like my second set of friends!
Kevin
Thats really cool! I think more coaches are like you,but the few bad ones sorta give you a bad taste in your mouth.
Where I'm at, the kids HAVE to play either offense or defense the whole game,better kids play both.
Another great rule is that if there is a A-hole parent.. the coach has to kick em out or forfeit..so the other parents get involved!
Next year he will start 7th grade football at middle school.Im gonna be sad to not be coaching anymore..I gotta bunch of friends"dads" Im gonna miss. It sounds crazy,theyre like my second set of friends!
Kevin
I have to side with Mike on this, respect for someone else's rules was a given,and yes if you stayed overnight on a Saturday you were expected to attend church with the family. Unbelievably we did not turn into mutants or whatever because we had to attend another church, that may have been the only exposure we got to that religion. It didn't kill us, respect of others religions was something we were taught.
I personally think tats are ugly for the most part (I have a son and multiple grandkids with them, I still don't like them) I'm not crazy about piercings either. Baggy pants with boxers showing are a definite no no..express your style with your friends, don't inflict it on me. The muffin top look with a huge bare belly of fat hanging over your jeans and a shirt that would fit a 2 year old does NOT impress me at all nor do boobs falling out of a too small t shirt. I know I'm old school but I feel sorry for this generation that thinks they are setting style when to the oldies it appears like they have no self respect.
I love my grandkids and they all hang out at our house but they know if they don't come dressed halfway sensible they will hear it. Sometimes you never know from one day to the next what color their hair will be and after my son fighting to have long hair when he was in school most of the grandsons have baldies or close to it. I recognize styles change, and generations change as to the environment around them moves from one phase to another. I just think there is a happy medium.
I personally think tats are ugly for the most part (I have a son and multiple grandkids with them, I still don't like them) I'm not crazy about piercings either. Baggy pants with boxers showing are a definite no no..express your style with your friends, don't inflict it on me. The muffin top look with a huge bare belly of fat hanging over your jeans and a shirt that would fit a 2 year old does NOT impress me at all nor do boobs falling out of a too small t shirt. I know I'm old school but I feel sorry for this generation that thinks they are setting style when to the oldies it appears like they have no self respect.
I love my grandkids and they all hang out at our house but they know if they don't come dressed halfway sensible they will hear it. Sometimes you never know from one day to the next what color their hair will be and after my son fighting to have long hair when he was in school most of the grandsons have baldies or close to it. I recognize styles change, and generations change as to the environment around them moves from one phase to another. I just think there is a happy medium.
My case is exactly opposite.
I live with my son and daughter in law along with my wife.
We have no rules in house.
They invite friends and we cook for them.
We also occupy common room when we have to lend our room to guests.
We never had any problem so far.
May be it is our culture.
Just yesterday four of their relatives left . One pair after spending three months with us and another pair after a couple of nights stay.
We enjoyed it except some small irritants.
NJA
I live with my son and daughter in law along with my wife.
We have no rules in house.
They invite friends and we cook for them.
We also occupy common room when we have to lend our room to guests.
We never had any problem so far.
May be it is our culture.
Just yesterday four of their relatives left . One pair after spending three months with us and another pair after a couple of nights stay.
We enjoyed it except some small irritants.
NJA
I've been thinking about this thread since it was first posted, not looking at it for awhile... Having read the considered posts above, I have to agree with WW. Your house, your rules. Also, I see many people here expressing the same values, just varying slightly in how they are expressed by both the host and the guest.
The pants thing is not about fashion, my impression is that as you rightly say it is a sign of respect from the guest to the host. An example from my life: we are not pigs but... our carpet is trashed. We have a large dog, a toddler and a pseudo child (me). We do vacuum, sweep and keep it otherwise clean. We live in a warm climate and take our shoes off at the door, and walk around barefoot. We ask nothing of our guests, but MANY (i believe) as a sign of respect see the shoes by the door and take theirs off before coming in. Even though odd, holed socks are not fashionable.
Onto the church thing, a couple of things.
I don't care whose kids they were, I would not leave minors alone in the house. If my son stayed over at a mates, I would expect him to participate in that family's daily activities -- church, chores, rules and discipline.
Although religion is a personal thing, I agree, bring 'em along. I am very respectful of other's religions, and my knowledge of Catholicism (lapsed Catholic here) would require me to ask the guest if they were Catholic, and if not I would ask that they do not go for communion out of respect for the religion. I have been to many Catholic services since I decided in my teens that I would not go to communion as I do not believe in transubstantiation. (Putting mysellf in the place of one of your kid's guests, as a 17 year old, I would probably had a theological disccusion with you after church about it).
The pants thing is not about fashion, my impression is that as you rightly say it is a sign of respect from the guest to the host. An example from my life: we are not pigs but... our carpet is trashed. We have a large dog, a toddler and a pseudo child (me). We do vacuum, sweep and keep it otherwise clean. We live in a warm climate and take our shoes off at the door, and walk around barefoot. We ask nothing of our guests, but MANY (i believe) as a sign of respect see the shoes by the door and take theirs off before coming in. Even though odd, holed socks are not fashionable.
Onto the church thing, a couple of things.
I don't care whose kids they were, I would not leave minors alone in the house. If my son stayed over at a mates, I would expect him to participate in that family's daily activities -- church, chores, rules and discipline.
Although religion is a personal thing, I agree, bring 'em along. I am very respectful of other's religions, and my knowledge of Catholicism (lapsed Catholic here) would require me to ask the guest if they were Catholic, and if not I would ask that they do not go for communion out of respect for the religion. I have been to many Catholic services since I decided in my teens that I would not go to communion as I do not believe in transubstantiation. (Putting mysellf in the place of one of your kid's guests, as a 17 year old, I would probably had a theological disccusion with you after church about it).
My son's friends always hike up their drawers prior to coming into my home. They've heard me bark at my own son enough I never had to say anything to them. Who says all teenagers are stupid?
All I ask from them is that they respect me and my home. Only had one problem that was corrected the first time. Daughters friend's were over and one of her girlfriends was sitting on the couch, in the middle of my family room which connects with the kitchen so it's the busy part of the home, and her boyfriend was all sprawled out laying his head in her lap with his dirty freaking feet on the arm of the couch. I didn't want to embarrass either one of them so I told my daughter to let them know. She did, they sat up and I noticed the boyfriend hiding his feet in his pant legs. Nasty.
All I ask from them is that they respect me and my home. Only had one problem that was corrected the first time. Daughters friend's were over and one of her girlfriends was sitting on the couch, in the middle of my family room which connects with the kitchen so it's the busy part of the home, and her boyfriend was all sprawled out laying his head in her lap with his dirty freaking feet on the arm of the couch. I didn't want to embarrass either one of them so I told my daughter to let them know. She did, they sat up and I noticed the boyfriend hiding his feet in his pant legs. Nasty.